- Hey everybody, happy Thursday.
Now today's question is all about managing change.
But before I jump into that,
are you new to my channel?
Welcome, I'm a licensed therapist
creating educational mental health videos.
And I release those videos on Mondays
and on Thursdays,
so make sure you're subscribed
and have your notifications turned on
so that you don't miss out.
Now let's jump into today's topic.
If you follow me on Instagram,
you know that I recently found out
the yoga studio that I've been going to
for over 12 years is closing.
I asked around and found that it's because
the attendance is low,
teachers aren't signing up to teach more classes,
and so the studio has kind of slowly been dying
over the last year or so.
This news was so devastating to me
and there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening.
And that's really what prompted me
to ask all of you on Instagram
if you wanted me to make a video
about navigating difficult change.
And an overwhelming number of you said yes.
So here are my five tips for managing change healthfully.
And the first tip is kind of obvious,
but I feel like it just really needs to be said.
And that is that we need to acknowledge
that change is part of life.
And I know this isn't necessarily that helpful.
But I think it's important that we try to recognize
and accept that change is always happening.
Some of it we have control over, but most of it we don't.
And if we give ourselves a chance
to really come to terms with the fact
that life will keep moving, people will change
and you'll be asked to change to.
So if we do that, it can sometimes help us get unstuck
or see things differently than we were before.
And I personally love to remind myself of this fact
because it means that nothing will stay like this forever.
It has to change and that thought can honestly
be a little freeing, too.
Next up my second tip is that we have to let ourselves
feel the loss, upset,
anger, sadness
or whatever it is that you may be feeling.
Give yourself time to feel it.
Talk about it, journal about it, complain to a friend,
therapist or family member about it.
It's okay, and just so we make sure
this time is beneficial, try and keep this venting,
feeling time focused on how you feel now.
Why this person or place or thing
was important to you and what you'll miss in the future.
Try to stay out of lamenting about things
that we should have done or should have said
or living in the past experience that we can't change now.
Or pretty much, you know,
anything that could pull us back into that dark pit
of hopelessness or helplessness.
Let's try to stay focused on the present
and what's happening now.
How we feel now, what we liked about that thing,
what we're gonna miss about that person
and all of that.
Stay in the present as much as you can.
And my third tip, let's write out the story
we're gonna tell ourselves about this loss or change.
Are we writing a sad story?
Maybe it's hopeful, possibly pain-filled or grief-filled.
Or are we trying to predict the future already?
I do that.
Or are we feeling hopeless about what's coming next?
Maybe we're excited about the change
and what it's gonna bring for us.
But take some time to write it all out.
No judgment, just be honest with yourself
and your process.
This can really help us kind of see
what we may be already assuming,
or how we're truly feeling about something.
This can be like another way to get into our grief,
or upset or sadness or even excitement
and figure out where it's coming from
and what we're really telling ourselves about it.
Now my fourth tip is that I want you to write out the story
you want to have about this loss or change.
Sure these two stories can be the same
if you're feeling okay and
you know that it's going to be okay.
But these two stories can also be very different.
It's very common for us to get stuck
in a certain type of story and we can be so stuck
that all the stories in our life have the same style
and feeling to them.
For example, we may only know how to tell
sad, hopeless stories or to always be the victim in a story.
Or we only know, maybe, how to tell
happy, excited stories.
It's really hard for us to tap in
to sadness or anger.
But either way, we're filtering our experience
and only letting ourself see our life in that way.
Does that make sense?
We're only able to tell certain types of stories
and that can limit our ability to overcome any change
upset or even stop us from seeing our life clearly.
So spend some time on this tip.
Consider how you would like to view this change.
And know that just by practicing this,
you can actually alter the way that you think about it.
It's like therapy magic, I promise.
Now my fifth and final tip, is to increase your self-care.
Now I know it seems like everyone
is talking about self-care lately.
But no one really tells us what it is, or defines it.
And no, self-care is not just getting a massage
or taking a vacation.
Self-care can simply be texting a helpful friend
when we need some advice or a new perspective,
or walking around the block.
Think of anything in your life that brings you
the slightest bit of joy, or gets you excited
or helps you feel better.
Then just do your best to work in
at least one of these into your daily routine.
Maybe you could get up five minutes earlier
so you have time to sip coffee, watch the news
and do some of your breathing.
Or maybe you wanna take a bath once a week
and take some time to relax.
Or plant some new flowers in your garden,
or just take a minute to breathe and stretch.
Whatever you can make time for and afford,
let's try to do that more.
Remember, that it's actually less
about the change that's happening
and more with how we think about it.
So, notice if your thoughts are pulling you in a direction
that you don't wanna go,
or telling you a very filtered version of the story.
Then you can go back to the story that you wrote.
You know, the one that you want to have about this change?
And reread that one.
You can even take it as far as to consider
what you could do today to work towards that story.
One thought and one step at a time,
we can move closer and closer to it,
until the story we want to have,
is the one that we are currently living.
Now my favorite yoga teacher is always reminding us
that it's the brittle trees that break in the wind storm,
while the flexible bamboo can ride it out
and bend when it needs to.
And I hope that all of these tips and tricks
just kind of help you feel a bit more flexible,
so that you can bend like the bamboo
and are able to ride out any storms
that come your way because life is constantly changing
in big and small ways.
And I just hope that some of these tips
are helpful to you in your own life.
And as always, please leave any tips that you have
for managing change in your life
in those comments down below.
And I will see you next time, bye.