This video is about = "The Mistakes to Avoid after a Breakup!" I will reveal the typical mistakes
you need to avoid making after you've gone
through a breakup... to find out more please stay tuned to this video!
Welcome to The SCG Show! Please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm
and turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description down below! There is
unfortunately a lot of misinformation when it comes to dating and relationship these days
especially when it comes to breaking up! Whether you're the one that did the breaking up or they
suddenly have ended things with you, regardless of who you are, where you're from, breakups are not
easy and a shock to the system. Even if you've emotionally or mentally checked out months or
years ago, this will still apply i'm afraid. Think about it this person was in and around your
life constantly.... maybe you lived together had a mortgage together... children... now for whatever reason
which doesn't really matter in this context they are no longer in and around your life
I don't care how strong tough or confident you assume to be, deep down in your heart
you still long for that person in the initial period! I walked away from a toxic relationship
with a narcissist a few years ago, was easily one of the hardest decisions to make of my life
for those who have dated narcissists you will know how difficult it is to break free of such
a relationship, even though logically it was the right thing to do, even though i could not stand
her anymore, and even though i had no choice but to walk away, guess what? I still loved her deep
down and cared for her as well! Do not believe the BS people say who move on ever so swiftly from
their exes and insist how "easy" it is. Things take time especially healing from any form of breakup
which i've already spoken about in another video however moreover there are some important mistakes
you must avoid making which may have a detrimental effect on your life...
and your future, if you're not careful too. I've made these mistakes, loads of people have as well
so try to avoid them as best you can! Here are the mistakes to avoid after any type of breakup!
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If you're keeping your ex around like a "plan b" or a fullback plan after breaking up this is a
ridiculous and dangerous idea! Breakups happen for a reason, you and your partner for whatever reason
doesn't really matter just didn't work out... maybe it was you, them, both of you, who cares, the reality
is that era and phase of your life is now over! Your relationship with them did not work out and
again for whatever reason and however unfolded you're no longer together! Good and healthy
happy couples rarely break up and even if they do it's under extreme unnecessary reasons as well
Typically when a person instigates a breakup they do so because they're fed up, have lost attraction
or are seeking something new, but even before they step out right back into the dating scene again
they subconsciously tell themselves the following = "i'll keep my ex as a backup
plan.... i'll keep having fun with my ex if i don't find better... i'll just go back
i'm lucky i can fall back on them and not have to worry about finding someone new!"
Truthfully after four years of dating a narcissist and utterly drained and miserable i said this to
myself "if i don't find anyone, i could just go back to her!" Then i quickly snapped myself out
of such thinking and never heard or spoke to their ex again. Aligned also with the keeping
the EX as a backup plan or a "plan b" comes putting certain things and areas of your life on hold...
You don't date just in case they see you on apps and judge you... you don't move out just in case
you want to rekindle things... you don't travel as much because you know just in case they call you
and want you back.... you basically put your future and life on hold in the possible scenario that
maybe just maybe your ex will re-enter your life again and you'll get together! Life is too short
please do not waste it! Your ex is now in the past and certainly not a backup plan a booty call
and so on. Now breakups can be tough on our mental health which is why i'd like to tell you about my
official sponsor BetterHelp! I've personally used BetterHelp and found them so effective
for turning my life around for the better! It's an online portal that provides direct to
consumer access to behavioral health services. The online counseling and therapy services
are provided through web-based interaction such as phone and text communication. With BetterHelp
you get four live sessions a month and unlimited messaging in between sessions as well as access
the group therapy webinars that are updated each and every week! You can sign up for the BetterHelp
online counseling service in the description below. By using that link you'll be supporting my YouTube
channel and i'll give you 10% off your first month too! So combat these feelings of depression after
breakups, turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description below!
Of course right after a breakup of any kind and with any kind of person too, our minds immediately
start comparing them to everyone else. This is like shooting yourself in the foot because you're
trying to move on from that person but yet again you're acting like they're still in your life!
This happens in the first few months of a breakup especially when you first start dating again
which i recommend you do the moment you feel ready and as soon as you possibly can. These
are the common comparisons you may make following a breakup you = look at every couple with envy... you
look at random couples in the same vein... you watch tv etc and look at couples begging for the same
you look at people on dating apps thinking if they match the standards of your ex...
My ex-narcissist girlfriend was one of the most attractive women i'd ever dated
therefore when i went on to the dating apps after our split, immediately i found myself comparing
women in a shallow way... i was so hurt and broken afterwards i remember swiping around and thinking
"she's not as attractive as my ex or she's not as good looking enough etc"
Look of course attraction is important but it's not the be-all and end-all! Looks fade but
toxic behavior that lasts forever! My first ever date post my narcissist was a complete disaster
we were not compatible at all and i compared everything she said, did, how she looked
to my ex! How foolish was i comparing to a toxic EX as well? Please do not make my mistake
everybody is unique... everyone is different... everyone has an experience and story to share with you
If you wanted what you had before you would have stayed with your ex
and trust me no two people are ever alike! They might be the same religion, culture and so on but
there's always going to be uniqueness about every human being you interact with. Why would
you want them to be anything like your ex as well? No matter how attractive they may have been...
If enjoying this video please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm and support my channel
by becoming an official member! The link for memberships is just in the description down below!
Another fatal and important mistake you must avoid at all costs after a breakup is engaging
heavily in any form of vice or toxic habit - like overeating, gambling, smoking, drinking, drugs etc
If you're new to my content you may be unaware that i was a gambling addict for many years
gambling in my mind was a release from pain and suffering. I foolishly also believed it
was a hobby and a pastime whether online or in a casino... whenever i was stressed, drained, miserable
and unhappy i'd gamble! It didn't even matter what game i was playing or where i was going i
would always do it and i had gambling friends who felt the same! Some of these guys were divorced had
relationships hanging by a thread, which actually comes as no surprise. Gambling is a big fat lie
and if you're suffering from any form of addiction always reach out to a trained medical professional
perhaps through my sponsor BetterHelp down below. As i mentioned at the beginning of this video
breakups of any kind are painful to endure at the start and it even takes a while for it to hit you
again but eventually you will feel it in its full force sometimes it could be days weeks or
months and it may overwhelm you! Idiotic friends and social media will encourage the following
"go get blind drunk... have lots of bedroom fun... go take some drugs... go party like crazy..."
and the so-called justification behind this is "you're single now
you deserve to have fun!" but instead of engaging in vices why not heal and recover?
Why not get healthy, go on a diet, meditate, get in touch with your spiritual side? Getting blind drunk
will only result in you calling your ex and begging them to come back or jumping into bed
with someone you don't really like... either one of those results in regret and shame the last thing
i want you to experience! So instead why not improve yourself, then make yourself utterly feel
worse by doing these vices and going backwards instead of moving onwards to better things!
Another mistake to avoid making straight after a breakup is thinking negatively with
a scarcity mindset! Here are some examples of this = "i'll never find anybody like my ex
all the good people are taken... i'm the only person who's single... i will never settle down... i'll never
get married again... i'm alone... no one else is single... i will never find anyone who looks like them
i will die alone now...." Look all of that may be true maybe you are the only one single
maybe you won't get married again, maybe the people you're attracting are wrong for you, STOP!
It's very easy and very often that our mind will catastrophize and go down into a spiral of despair
I've been there many times, i'm 35 at the point of me recording this and most of my friends and
family my age are married or in relationships! It can be tough to see the positives especially when
you have other areas of your life sorted out. But negative thoughts will lead to negative outcomes
scarcity thinking will make you focus on the lack you have and you'll constantly reap what
you sow! A guy i know was dumped by his beautiful girlfriend of several years for no reason at all
and it was a shock to everyone. Whilst hurt he said to himself "no worries i'll find someone
better!" Within a month he met the woman of his dreams and got married and had two kids
What was his secret? He thought with an abundant mindset "There are plenty of women out there who
want to date me!" That's what I thought to myself and it turned out i was right!" If you also think
negatively and with scarcity you run the risk of going back to your ex... which is never a good idea!