- Hi friends!
I'm Marshmallow, and I'm here with my favorite person in
the whole wide world, Lou the Tick!
Yay! (laughs)
- Am I really your favorite person?
- Of course you are!
You're tied for first place
along with everyone else in the world.
Yay! (laughs)
- I'm honored.
Well, today we've got a doozy of an episode for ya.
How to Save The World.
- Where to begin, where to begin?
- I know where to begin, I brought a list!
- As did I.
- I'll go first!
Step one, be nice to everyone!
Kindness is contagious, so being kind, even to one person,
could start a tidal wave of goodness
that saves the entire world
from a cycle of violence, pain and despair.
Yay!
- Ha, so I think our lists are pretty different.
- Different, but equally valid and wonderful.
Go ahead, what's step two?
- Uh, okay.
Step two, establish a missile defense shield capable
of intercepting extraterrestrial missiles
above the stratosphere.
- [Marshmallow] Yay! That's a great one, Lou!
And here's another great one!
Step three, think happy thoughts!
- [Lou] That's it?
- That's it, Lou!
It's that easy!
Your thoughts manifest themselves through your actions, so--
- Hold on, I just gotta interject.
I'm sorry, but it feels like one of us put in effort
and did actual research about how to save the Earth
from an imminent cataclysmic event, and the other person--
- Is you? (giggles)
- Grr!
No, it's yours that isn't meticulously-researched!
Here's what I mean.
Step four, install a shadow government.
One that isn't beholden to corporate interests
and oligarchs at Big Tin Foil!
- I thought you loved tin foil!
- I sure did,
until I found out the truth about Big Tin Foil!
It's controlled by Big Chicken, (rooster crows)
which is controlled by the Kuwaitis, (lightning crashes)
which is controlled by Warren Buffett,
who is secretly an alien!
- [Marshmallow] Ooh!
That reminds me of step five, plant a flower.
Yay!
- What?!
How did my manifesto remind you of planting a flower?
How's planting a flower going to save the world?
- By giving a ladybug a flower pedal bed
to sleep on every night.
Yay! (laughs)
- I've had enough of this,
Lou's taking control of the airwaves!
Step six, we broker an agreement
between the Illuminati, the Masons,
and the elementary school secretaries.
That's a manifesto, baby.
Step seven, we build a time machine
because we need to be carbon neutral yesterday.
You better bet that's a manifesto!
Step eight, we eat the rich!
- [Marshmallow] Step nine, say something nice
about yourself into the mirror!
- [Lou] Do not listen to Marshmallow!
Step 10, begin construction on a city near the Earth's core,
where minerals are plentiful and gamma rays are minimal.
- [Marshmallow] Step 11, everyone give Lou a hug!
- No, no one give me a hug!
Hey, stay away!
Ah! Love, my only weakness!
No!
- You! Take us to your leader.
We have come to destroy Earth.
- Aw, could you please not destroy Earth?
Please?
- Well, I guess since you asked so politely,
we'll let your planet live.
Thanks for being so kind.
Most planets try to blast us with missile defense shields.
- Aww, I'm sorry, don't be sad.
Everyone give the alien a hug!
- Well, thank you so much!
(alien yells)
- Yay! (laughs)
(triumphant music)
(upbeat music)