- So what would you lovely people like to hear a rap about?
- [woman] Donner party! (crowd groans)
- I heard the second word was party,
I misheard the first word, what was it?
- [Woman] The Donner Party.
- As in doner meat?
(crowd murmuring, laughing)
So this sounds like an in joke
that everyone is aware of, so. (crowd laughing)
You'll need to explain, so, to me,
doner is a type of lamb kebab meat, right?
(crowd laughing) - [Man] Close, you're close.
- Okay, so would you care to explain?
- [Woman] So there was a party that was stranded
and then they ate each other.
- A party that was stranded and ate each other.
Okay, and where did this happen?
(crowd murmuring)
Wow, a lot of people, a lot of people have opinions of this,
this man over here said Sierra Nevada?
Okay, and why were they stranded, plane crash?
Oh, in the, in the old time, okay, cool.
Cool, so regional American history.
By the way, that is a very good suggestion
if you want to catch a British person out.
(crowd laughing)
You know, usually people go with
something like Lou Gehrig or some kind of
sports person I'd never have heard of, but no,
the Donner Party, who were apparently some gold miners
who were trapped and then decided to eat,
I mean, I guess not decided, like,
were probably forced to, it probably wasn't like a,
"Well, that's been about an hour
"without any contact, let's eat Kevin."
(crowd laughing)
Great, Donner Party.
That is a great suggestion, I like it very much.
Let's come to this, you guys over here.
What do you want a rap about?
There's a hand up there, yeah, so polite.
- [Woman] Guys with beards.
Guys with beards!
- Guys with beards, very imaginative
based on the person that you're sat right next to.
Also quite mean based on the lack of any hair on my chin,
and I haven't shaved for two and a half weeks, so.
Guys with beards, what, let's kind of
just push that a bit further.
Is there anything particular,
what is it about guys with beards?
- [Woman] Uh, they wear flannel,
and they drive Tacomas and Tundras.
- They, (laughing) they ride into tundra, okay.
Guys into beards ride into - [Woman] Have a Toyota truck.
- And they, they have trucks. - [Woman] Yeah.
Okay cool, nice, nice.
I love that you just mimed a truck by going,
I mean, really that's the mime for vehicle isn't it, right?
That's truck, right? (crowd laughing)
Guys with beards, they have trucks, the Donner Party.
Let's come to the middle front of the room,
what do you want a rap about?
(crowd shouting) One, one second.
I didn't quite hear it, but I will come to you,
but this lady very politely put a hand up here.
- [Woman] Volleyball! - Volleyball. Okay.
Let's pick a specific thing about volleyball though,
because I don't take the same suggestion twice
and three weeks ago in Australia,
a nine year old girl said volleyball.
So I can't take that exact suggestion,
but what I can do is get you to kind of expand on it.
- [Woman] Competition in volleyball.
- Competition in volleyball, I like it.
That is a good suggestion.
You shouted something out, what was it?
- [Woman] Oh, I said side out.
- You said sign out? (crowd shouting)
Side out, you know just you saying side out
doesn't mean anything to me. (crowd laughing)
Oh, it's a volleyball term, okay, cool.
We can, we can put it into that.
Side out, what a rubbish term that is.
Right. (crowd laughing)
Yeah, I think I got a lot of people on board.
They're like, yeah, we should rename it.
Okay so, competition volleyball and side out,
guys with beards and their trucks,
the Donner Party, we need two more suggestions.
I'll come to the back, yeah, you got your hands up there.
- [Woman] Transformational journey into the hybrid cloud.
- Transformational journey into the hybrid cloud.
You and one person is super happy about that.
I am not even going to attempt
to ask you to explain that because
I'm not sure anyone here knows what any of that means.
Let's get one final one from anywhere.
This has to be really good though.
- [Woman] A guy in a dumpster behind the Vatican.
- A guy in a dumpster behind the Vatican.
Do you know something we don't, have you sent?
Have you sent a contract killer to Vatican City?
Okay, cool, those are some great suggestions.
I mean mainly you did the heavy lifting,
and you start us off really well.
In the middle we definitely sagged a little bit.
So, to remind you all, the Donner Party,
guys with beards and the fact they drive trucks,
competition in volleyball, maybe including side out,
a transformational journey into the hybrid cloud,
and yes, I'm quite impressed I remembered that,
(laughing) and a guy in a dumpster behind the Vatican.
This then, lovely people of The Comedy & Magic Club,
little treat for you guys,
a little thing called a freestyle rap.
That is a rap made up on the spot
based entirely on those suggestions.
Do not worry, it will not be anywhere near as atrociously,
embarrassingly, toe curlingly bad
as you were expecting a privately educated
middle class white boy to be. (crowd cheering)
Hey friends, it's me wearing the same clothes,
but with slightly longer hair, because time passes.
I just launched a challenge
where I want to see you guys rap.
There are details on screen right now,
but also a link to a video that explains it more fully.
I cannot wait to see what you guys come up with.
Now, back to the video.
Let's drop that beat my friend, and have some fun.
(crowd cheering)
And turn it up for me as well, I got you a real nice
West Coast beat, it's gonna be great.
I like that you guys are getting on board,
you're like, "Oh, we like the g-funk bass, nice."
♪ Kick it off, yeah, don't know what I'm talking about ♪
♪ Let me serve, let me spike ♪
♪ Let me get a side out, what the heck is that ♪
♪ Now the balls no longer in play ♪
♪ But when it's on the volleyball court I holds weight ♪
♪ I'm the best when it comes to scoring those points ♪
♪ If you're coming up to me, I dislocate joints ♪
♪ I break your arm, I break your shoulder and your hip ♪
♪ Cause when I'm playing competition, yeah I never slip ♪
♪ I get so angry, I get the red rise up ♪
♪ I'm gonna make sure that I slice it up ♪
♪ I'm going to cut you down with my volleyball skills ♪
♪ Competition volleyball, yeah it gives me thrills ♪
♪ Some people say you should play it the amateur way ♪
♪ I'm like no, I'm a pro, y'all should go away ♪
♪ When I'm out on the beach, not inside, you can see me ♪
♪ Even though I'm a guy, I'm rocking the bikini ♪
♪ Showing everybody I've got great pecs ♪
♪ I'm holding them up, and then I go who's next ♪
♪ I get a little hungry, so I'm in need ♪
♪ Of getting a whole mouth full of human protein ♪
♪ I'm a cannibal, yeah I might alarm ya ♪
♪ I'm gonna chow down on you like I'm Jeffrey Dahmer ♪
♪ He would take people and put them in the fridge ♪
♪ But back in the days, yeah, I'll spit about it ♪
♪ The Donner Party down in the gold mine ♪
♪ They would get out and get a crystal, have a good time ♪
♪ And then suddenly, where's the transport, oh no ♪
♪ In a difficult position we are caught ♪
♪ Who will we eat first, look at the sleeves ♪
♪ This guy's quite skinny, and this guy Steve ♪
♪ Was really fat, so definitely the first to go ♪
♪ We get him down, oh Steve, I'm sorry, bro ♪
♪ Then we take a knife and fork, take the silver there ♪
♪ Giving it down in his belly, he's not aware ♪
♪ Because we killed him first, yeah we did it really good ♪
♪ Hung him upside down to drain the meat off the blood ♪
♪ You don't want all the stress proteins ♪
♪ Getting in the blood out of his whole bloodstream ♪
♪ It's not nice to make light of eating people ♪
♪ But, when you're in the desert, yeah it's all equal ♪
♪ Out in Sierra Nevada, I know I'd rather ♪
♪ Eat my brother before my mother or my father ♪
♪ Cause he's fat too, slightly overweight ♪
♪ When I take anybody on a dinner date ♪
♪ I say come in, it's got plus ones allowed ♪
♪ Gonna have a transformational ♪
♪ Journey into the hybrid cloud ♪
♪ No one even knows what it mean ♪
♪ But maybe if you're on the Elon Musk team ♪
♪ Hybrid, like a Toyota Prius ♪
♪ Maybe that's a car driving on the freeway ♪
♪ It's so amazing when you see the engine work ♪
♪ But this seems more different when shouted by her ♪
♪ Cloud storage like it's up in the air ♪
♪ Like the precipitation raining down without a care ♪
♪ Really no definition, not this, you might learn me ♪
♪ Later, but I feel the transformation journey ♪
♪ Is one in this situation, ♪
♪ I explore myself, interior meditation ♪
♪ Drink some kombucha, grow my hair out ♪
♪ Then I go back, yeah, this is what I'm about ♪
♪ Having so much fun, yeah, never even plan ♪
♪ Make it up as I go, I'm off to the Vatican ♪
♪ Such a small city, a large property ♪
♪ Population condensed so properly ♪
♪ And over here, yeah, what is in ♪
♪ I open it up, I look inside the trash bin ♪
♪ I know in America, different words you planned for ♪
♪ You wouldn't wouldn't call it a skip ♪
♪ You would call it a dumpster ♪
♪ I look in there, I say me, oh my ♪
♪ Out of there comes a very stinky, long haired guy ♪
♪ Who the heck are you, is this some kind of joke ♪
♪ No, I'm Ratzinburger, the old Pope ♪
♪ I was kicked out of the Vatican palace ♪
♪ Because the new one came along and he said I'm ♪
♪ Very malicious towards you, and so you go ♪
♪ Down with all the recycling, ho ho ♪
♪ Kicked me out of the spire, out of the cupola ♪
♪ That's the real architectural reference there ♪
♪ If you've been, that's no joke ♪
♪ They pick a new Pope, got the white and the black smoke ♪
♪ Vatican City, it's very small, but very pretty ♪
♪ If you see a guy in the dumpster, probably smells shitty ♪
♪ Stay away from him, because he pongs a bit ♪
♪ Maybe he's a guy and if you bit him ♪
♪ Then you would spit it out again ♪
♪ It wouldn't taste very fresh ♪
♪ Last one, yeah it's easy to guess ♪
♪ Why you said beard on a man cause to your left ♪
♪ A guy is sat there and he does select ♪
♪ To never shave, just grow his facial hair ♪
♪ What car does he drive, a Tundra ♪
♪ Apparently it's not a car, you can look it up ♪
♪ It's a brand of Toyota, that thing's a truck ♪
♪ You can ride it along, like this, not this ♪
♪ You got bristle burn on your face when you kiss ♪
♪ At night, it's one thing that I have always feared ♪
♪ That even when I'm 60, I'll never grow a beard ♪
(crowd cheering)