hi a.d i'm chelsea handler and this is
my house come on in
so i've lived here since i think 2010 is
what i've been told is my first house
that i've ever bought and there was just
a lot of closed off spaces and i really
wanted open spaces and i wanted indoor
outdoor living because why else are we
living in california if we don't get all
of those things my main feature is
really entertainment and warmth i wanted
a modern feel but i didn't want it to be
stuffy i'm not stuffy obviously i'm from
new jersey it's impossible to be stuffy
if you're from there
this is the little entryway i want to
stop here because i have some special
items here this alex prager print was a
gift from my dear friend shelly azoff
this woman is julia garner who is an
actress and she was in one of my
favorite shows dirty john but i got this
as a gift for my 40th which is
representative of everything i did from
my 30s to my 40s which was smoke
cigarettes and drink heavily and then if
we turn around this is the nicest piece
of art i probably have ever bought
myself because i went to art basel one
year with a boyfriend at the time and i
thought i better buy something the
artist is joel shapiro whose work i now
love but i didn't know what this was i
just thought it was cool and i thought
i'm at an art fair i should pick
something up
and so i got it and then i found out
about three years later it's called girl
dancing on water which is perfect
because this is exactly how i dance
okay so this is the kitchen which i do
mostly nothing in this is agate so i had
a friend that was living with me and she
loved agate and so we picked out these
kind of like mild neutral colors because
the cabinetry was already done and i
kind of liked that it was a weird color
like a light blue kind of medical grade
color i just thought that was funky and
i thought why not like let's enhance
that the countertop was just
flat and like half the size of this so i
wanted to extend it and have different
levels so there's a cooking area and
then there was like kind of a loungy
area this is where most people end up
smoking cigarettes at the end of the
night at my house if they smoke inside
which i'm totally for i want people to
do whatever they want whenever they want
this is where you would prepare the food
from what i've seen this is an espresso
machine and if you look closely you'll
see the directions are all here for me
because i'm too stupid to figure out how
to do it on my own so this is my
medicine jar this is where i keep a lot
of my joints and weed and what have you
sometimes i find other things in here
that are even more exciting you know
this is my lifestyle
if you come over here this is my dining
room table and the wood from this is
from venice italy from the piers in
venice italy they reclaim the wood and
then there's only like 17 or 18 dining
room tables like this
so i got to hold on to this for a while
before i sell it
this is my den this is our like little
casual sometimes i watch tv in here this
is kind of like my ex-boyfriend room
because this gift this vitale was given
to me by an ex-boyfriend this for a long
time i thought was a bunch of people on
a ski slope and about two years in after
having this somebody said oh my god i've
been to that beach and i thought
what and then i looked and realized
everyone's in a bathing suit and indeed
it is a beach and it's not a ski
mountain so once again i have things in
my house that i know nothing about
okay so this couch is moroso it's called
the gentry sofa and i bought this myself
in a store i want went in sat on it and
i was like i need this it's got this
cool red stitching and it's the most
comfortable sofa that i've ever sat on i
have this beautiful chandelier because i
like to think of my house as more soft
contemporary because it's
kind of softer than it's not stark but i
like features like this because it does
kind of soften up and makes it a little
bit more whimsical this somebody got me
this a lot of the hot stuff in my house
are gifts and you know obviously that
means a lot to me because i'm a
friendship kind of person this must have
been when i was going through my topless
phase which i'm kind of still going
through so it's like tricky i don't know
when to put my clothes on and when to
take them off sorry
and this is pretty much my favorite
addition because it's so warm and cozy
it's kind of idyllic for a congregation
room and this is the more adult room
this is where the beginning of the night
happens when people are still you know
forming complete sentences i love
culturally having different things from
different artists since i don't really
know anything about art myself i
appreciate when people help me
this is from my friend who works with me
at my production company this is right
on message this isn't from my friend
annie morris she's an artist in london i
told her i wanted her to sculpt
something for me and this is what she
came back with i would have appreciated
something grander but whatever and we're
still friends and i got these
in colombia yeah
these are all my adventure pictures
these are my family my brothers my
sisters my best friends and this is our
little game room i have this little miss
pac-man machine because when i grew up
miss pac-man was my favorite game in the
entire universe and my sisters bought
mitzvah my brother my father rented a
donkey kong machine and a miss pac-man
machine for 24 hours and i played it for
20 hours straight i love miss pac-man
and this has like 50 games on it so when
kids come over which i do in the summer
time i have pool parties and stuff for
my friends and their kids these are
chewy's feet bronzed
somebody gave me at the end of chelsea
lately this is the street sign from the
street i grew up on morningside drive in
livingston new jersey
and then these are antiques i got these
at an auction an antique auction i had a
friend who used to live with me and she
kind of was good at finding furniture
and antique stuff and like cool
mid-century stuff so this is george
nakashima i got these on auction
pictures pictures pictures anything
interesting africa is always interesting
there's the eiffel tower with my sister
and my cousin
so this is the gym
i work out i spend a lot of time in my
gym i'm passionate about working out i
like to work out a lot i got a new
peloton recently because people won't
shut up about it so i decided to get one
and of course i'm hooked but i don't
take the classes because i like to watch
the news
okay so if you come upstairs sorry about
the doggy steps but my dog is overweight
and otherwise he goes flying down this
is like harry may weems i love this just
because it's colorful and bright and it
makes me happy to see little kids that i
don't have to take care of
[Music]
this is my real dedication to children
my bunk bedroom my bunk bedroom for my
nieces and nephews but what's funny is
i've spent a lot of nights in here
because sometimes when i want to really
feel cozy and snuggly i just come in
here with the dogs and sleep in this
bunk bed and it's pretty comfortable
this is my kind of office room this is
where i do my writing for my stand-up or
for my book or whatever i'm writing at
the time and this is from my old makeup
artist gina she got me the boot of italy
because she was italian so i guess that
was a gift for herself
and uh this was custom made i had a
designer that worked with me when i
moved in here i wanted a bunk bed a big
one on the bottom and a little one on
the top so they kind of outfitted it for
the space so you can't get it out of
here is the thing i think it's like
attached to the oh yeah it's one big
unit with the bookshelves but it's just
such a cute room and i just love it i
love it it's probably my favorite room
other than
my bathroom
and then this is where all the magic
happens come on in this is my bedroom so
originally this was a wall there was no
glass and there was no way to see the
pool and the bed was facing out and
there were two doors on either side of
the bed to go out we built out the
balcony here blew it out this way and
then on either side so that it could be
like a seating area and that we could
have access to the pool at one point i
was entertaining having a water slide
installed off of my balcony
into the pool
but my attorney said that's a huge
liability and i told him he was a boner
killer
we redid the bedroom and then they did
this beautiful ceiling and they put the
wood up and i didn't know what they were
talking about when they were describing
doing it but i love when i'm sitting
down and i look up and just see the wood
i got this incredible bookcase you know
to me the most important thing to have
in a house are books i grew up with
books and papers newspapers everywhere
and books everywhere and just kind of
it's the thing that makes me feel most
at home and feels
like uh safe in a way like okay you know
like if things ever get too stressful or
you're not feeling your best or you're
having self-doubt you can always find
something in a book that is going to
make you
feel a little bit
more optimistic about everything and
here's a map of martha's vineyard which
is the place i grew up in my childhood
and we go every summer my family does we
don't have a house there anymore but we
rent
so that's kind of the most important
place for me
that's a map of the roman empire from
another ex-boyfriend probably the chases
are from casina and i loved first of all
they're felt which is the best and they
came in all these great colors so of
course i was torn between the green or
the purple but i decided to go with
purple because i can't just be so
masculine all the time i have to remind
people that i actually do have feminine
qualities so here they are okay
this is my bed these are never usually
here and these should probably be
replaced because they're old and satin
but this is my uncle
who passed away recently so i have him
close by these are all my spiritual
books just in case i need a reminder to
not be
an [ __ ] i have the doggy steps to
lure burt and bernice up here i used to
have to take them on leashes and a big
victory is that now when i just say go
upstairs they come right up i usually
sleep on this side but sometimes i try
and shake things up because it's not
really a mattress that you can flip so
there's like one big sunken hole on this
side and this is kind of my haven this
bedroom right here is pretty much all i
need
and then my closet right here i have my
refrigerator
so i have all my beverages i have all my
snacks up here i have ice here in case i
want to have a cocktail and i have that
kind of evening there's a lot of hanging
out in this room too late night when my
girl's friends are over between my
bedroom my closet and my bathroom i kind
of feel like that's all that a person
really needs i don't need this big house
but i love it and i've definitely broken
it in i like my house to be used and i
love when people are using it even when
i'm not here i love when people are
using it i love when relatives or
friends need to use it so it's nice to
have a house i can share with so many
people
that you didn't know that about me
this is my bathroom i put the doggie
bowls up here so that they know they're
always welcome the house came with these
japanese toilets which people seem to
love i've never once used it or warmed
my butt or cleaned
with that there's also a bidet that's
usually where i put my phone at night so
it doesn't bother me my shower is also
very complicated so sometimes i have to
have my cleaning lady home when i take
the shower because turning the
temperature or the steam on is very
complicated for me so you'll notice that
there are also directions on the shower
and on multiple occasions i've taken a
shower with my cleaning lady so we redid
this whole bathroom
i wanted a double shower so they put
that in but what i really wanted was a
steam room because i love uh infrared
saunas
so i have a little little nook area in
here where i read my books in the
morning and i also have my little suits
that i'm supposed to wear
for the sauna
but that's if you want to hyperventilate
i rarely take baths but
it's a nice bathtub for people who do
want to take baths and of course i have
his and hers bathroom for the time when
i decide to settle down with my bow
[Music]
i had these uh designers jamie durie
these two australian guys well jamie
durie's one guy but his partner is
another guy and they're both australian
so that makes two if if you do math and
they designed all this outdoor furniture
they custom-made it for my house and we
picked out the colors we picked out the
length the measurements so all the
furniture outside is from them
all the lighting
all the lanterns there the heat lamps
are not from them ping pong is a big
feature at my house i play a lot of ping
pong i'm pretty good at it so don't
challenge me but it's very much like a
kind of my own little it feels like i'm
in a solarium when i'm here because of
the greenery and i'm surrounded by
greenery i didn't think i needed that
kind of vibe in my life i thought oh
yeah like i'm a city girl but i really
do like the tranquility of coming home
and being surrounded by trees and green
all of these glass windows were not here
like everything was just kind of walls
and i wanted to open it up so that you
could go from one side of the house and
see through the other to the pool so all
of these doors open up through the
living room on that side as well and
pretty much throughout the house so that
it has that indoor outdoor vibe
and then they designed all this outdoor
stuff for me too jamie durie so that we
have you know lounging area here
lounging area there but i would say
mostly people congregate in this area
because we like people to go in and out
of the pool i love it when it rains in
la i know a lot of people freak out and
people don't know how to drive and they
don't know how to handle the situation
but i'm from the east coast so i like a
little weather back here we had a pizza
oven installed because i make so much
pizza from scratch
so this is another little kind of nook
there's an outdoor kitchen here when we
have pool parties or events usually
they'll set up out here and cook and
make whatever prep here and so this can
be kind of a little walk-up bar for
burgers tacos or whatever we're doing
that night this pizza oven comes with a
bunch of its own logs as you can see
under here
and you have to heat it up for about
four days so not a great purchase
luckily
that was also a gift oh let's see if
there's anything in here
alcohol
there you go
and ice i'm very big on ice i have five
machines in this house because i'm very
passionate about ice i think it's an
international issue and people aren't
taking it seriously
and now with global warming no one ever
will i've probably redone my pool three
times because i don't like that
iridescent finish i like the matte
finish but the matte finish is
incredibly hard to maintain i will
probably redo this pool again but i mean
it's a whole fiasco every time i do it
and this was esther williams's house who
was an olympic swimmer and then there's
a little hillside if you take the steps
up you can kind of go up there and you
get a nice little view from the top and
i had a treadmill up there for about six
months and then it stopped working so
they told me not to have treadmills
outside even in california this
furniture has yet to be updated to match
the rest because i just had the decks
stain this color to match the rest of
the edifice of the house so we're
waiting to redo those but this is a nice
little congregation area too we designed
the chocolate top of that chimney to
match the rest of the house and pull
everything in i like these warm colors
and i like the warm vibes
so uh
yeah that's pretty much what this is
it's just another little area as you can
see there's lots of little areas
for the hillside i moved in it was just
it was really nothing i mean there was
not a lot of planting done and i just
thought it was a huge opportunity to
have like a moving kind of like a magic
carpet and that's how i described it to
my landscaper i was like i just wanted
to be colorful and be lush some nights i
like to come out like five or six
o'clock have a cocktail and just stare
at this hillside and it's a good kind of
quieting
quieting exercise for my busy little
brain
[Music]
okay well that's my house you guys um i
would love for you all to stay but you
have to pretend like you're leaving now
and just come around the back and i'll
make some margaritas i won't make them
but i'll i'll have somebody make them
and then oh oh wait this is my favorite
feature
my window pane
floating glass
and this whole solarium entryway
i wanted it to feel floating and they
did it little balinese action sort of i
don't know what it is but anyway i love
it bye guys thank you
[Applause]