okay we're back for another podcast episode me and zach zack attack right zach
say hey everybody um okay so today we're going to talk about the
top five ways that you can quit porn for good and we're gonna walk you through each one of
those and it really is a recipe for success and it you know it's simple but maybe not easy so
i'm going to introduce each topic and give you a brief uh overview of the neural mechanisms
behind it and then zach's going to share how that would actually show up in your life so make sure
you stay for all five of them because if you put them together you will succeed in this journey
okay number one as much as you might not like to know number one is that tell somebody when you
tell somebody that you're struggling with pornography or with other sexual acting out
first of all if you've heard me talk about how the neural mechanisms of addict addiction and
porn addiction work your brain is using energy out in the extremes too fast too slow it changes
the neurotransmitter cascade making it so that you have to go back into the screen for more dopamine
when you tell somebody your brain literally starts to shift towards that medium speed
giving you an immediate freedom from this pendulum effect and that's going to show up in how you feel
and how you think and that's what zach's going to share your journey and kind of what people
can look forward to when you externalize this challenge in your life to somebody else right
the the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step and that first step for me was in college
my buddy cade we were really close and i knew that he cared about me and i told him i was like dude
i have this problem i'm struggling with pornography and the amazing thing was was all the
things that i thought were going to happen didn't happen he didn't judge me he didn't look down on
me he was like dude i get it man but i'm here for you you got to find somebody you got to find that
person that you can trust that won't judge you but will come alongside you and you have to tell that
person yeah and that might be harder and harder in today's day and age when you know so many
people watch porn and and guys will tell their buddies and their buddies think it's cool or not a
big deal so it's you know i think it's shifting where there's not even judgment in a negative
way there's judgment in uh what's wrong with that type of way and um someone wrote a comment on the
my youtube channel saying that his buddy thinks he's an inspiration now because he's he has like
a hundred day streak going and i thought that was really cool because he turned his struggle into a
you know success journey and then a journey of inspiration for the friend that he told so
i thought that was totally awesome so when you externalize that now now there's two two people
on it and when you join our 90-day program if you're interested there's never any pressure but
we're here to serve when people join my 90-day program the first step is they do a zoom call
with me and it's super important to me and people will get on and i'll say i'm so glad to meet you
and you know thank you for taking the time because we're in this thing together now
and i believe that and i'm like email me because i will move you through
join the group coaching you know i will move you through this if you need to stay connected email
me your successes if nobody else knows about this i know about this now and we can do this together
huge power in that and that's why why we do it that way because it it just serves okay
so number two moving on to number two in the five ways that you can quit porn for good is to
get informed get informed and i will tell you that's why i made the youtube channel
in the first place i didn't even know i was making a youtube channel when i put the first
video out how to heal your brain from porn it's two minutes and 49 seconds it doesn't say a lot
i was just making a video because i'm like world you need to know that porn is damaging
your brain and you need to know that there's ways that you can get out of a pornography habit
and so now i make all the videos so that you can get informed and of course there's other resources
so what what do you think about getting informed zach so getting informed was a huge step for me in
getting out of the porn cycle i read the book your brain on porn by gary wilson and it was amazing it
was scientific it was done in a smart manner and it also provided examples of other guys that were
going through the same things i was going through but you know i've also when i started taking your
program i was like there's even more information and so it's so detailed i love your program as
well and then if you don't want if you don't like your brain on porn or dr lee's program there's
also fight the new drug has great information on there easily accessible great podcast so those
those are the ways i've informed myself yeah fight the new drug and i love your brain on porn too
and and gary wilson has established an amazing website which has so much science and anecdote
which i like about that um and of course he's the four to me he's the you know founding father of
healing brains from porn um but what i thought was lacking in the book which honestly inspired
my journey also is that it felt and i know other people feel this way too it didn't to me
show the magnitude of how difficult it can be to leave porn behind because it had a lot of stories
of like you do you do this and you can be done watching porn and like i and i know when people
are like they read it and they were inspired but didn't know that this is this runs deep and for
many people porn addiction runs deep i know people tell me all the time is they will say
i had no idea this goes back to my childhood into my patterning into my traumas and my dysfunction
and so like it really is deep um patrick carnes is another kind of forefather in this area he talks
a lot about um those things and there's some you know not that i have all the answers but when you
piece all these things together it covers all the shortcomings i think so and i think fight the new
drug has done a really amazing job of informing people but also showing like if you can't just you
know put porn down and move on with your life that is to be expected because it is very difficult
so get informed and fight the new drug i think they're doing an amazing job doing that and and
your brain on porn is an amazing website with stories and of challenge and stories of triumph
um okay number three in our journey of our number five ways that we can quit porn is to
set up a defensive strategy now defense generally doesn't win the game but defense prevents you from
losing the game especially early on so what do you have to say about some good defensive
strategies to get going right so i i made hard hard choices in my life to set up a defense plan
my computer was a problem i got rid of my computer my game system was a problem i got
rid of my game system even my phone i had the flip phone way longer than it was cool right and so i
had my flip phone for a while i no longer have it because as we'll see in the next uh point in the
list once you have a good defensive strategy and you get rid of all the access points and you get
some time under your belt of not looking at porn then your offensive strategy allows you to then
come back and have the things that you gave up for a time period definitely yeah i love it and
one actually another person i was doing comments on youtube you can tell another person um wrote
to someone's like what can i do to you know start to feel better and someone wrote you just need
time bro and i wrote you need more than time my friend you need time and a plan and the plan is
the defensive plan keeps you out of the screen and the way i talk about it is that's when the
porn brain pattern can unwire itself but rewiring doesn't happen as fast especially if you don't do
any of the offensive strategies so the offensive strategies are doing a project that fires your
brain up in the right direction actually starting the idea of always having a project so that your
time is also offset you know changing your routines your habits your thought processes
understanding your feelings being willing to sit with them instead of escaping them
figuring them out growing your emotional intelligence and your emotional maturity so you
can engage in approach in the world even when it's challenging for you that's the rewire and every
time you have a win in that department you don't need your defensive strategy anymore and you can
put the defenses down because now you have your offensive plan that will you know move you forward
um okay so moving on we are talking about uh being able to have the offensive plan so did do
you share everything that you wanted to talk about that that's our fourth yeah so number four is our
uh is our offensive strategy and this is actually something i learned really well from dr lee
so i had a lot of defenses and she was telling me one day she was i was like yeah i got all
these things set up i haven't been looking at it it's been going great she's like oh
well you're just playing defense you need to play offense as well and so for me the offensive
plan was all the things that this voice in the back of my head told me that i should be doing
you already know man i should be exercising man i should be pursuing music if you're
a musician man i should be pursuing that that degree man i should be working harder at work it
tells you your brain will tell you what you need to do that's your offensive plan you set that up
exercise meditating if you're spiritual reading the bible or praying or whatever whatever book you
read um so that's that's the offensive strategy yeah and it's the foundation when you build it
you protect that you have to be vigilant on your foundation and protect it you have to you're
vigilant for it and when you're vigilant for your foundation you no longer have to be vigilant
against porn you don't have to be against and that's why i tell people when they're like let's
fight this battle i'm like we're not fighting anything we're letting that go we're surrendering
the patterns of the past and establishing patterns of the future and when you don't fight
it it dissipates but then you have to protect that plan that moves you into the future and and you're
right you don't know and this is really important in this journey you might not know what those
things are until your brain unwires and until the rewiring starts and then there's space the
time does give you the space and the space opens up and you can feel those things and hear them
okay last one number five is join a program or a group and it is so important and again i
write this on the youtube channel is that when you're in a program this is science shows when
you're in a program and it's giving you all the strategies that are proven to be effective
and you move through them comprehensively from start to finish it helps you to
process and integrate your transformational experience and the group support you in that
so that you can fill in gaps that you might not be able to fill in all by yourself so do
you have a thought on that zach yeah so joining a group for me when i was looking at pornography
really catapulted me into success so i was part of a group called proven men i showed up every week
and i told them here's when i when i screwed up here's how many times i screwed up
they were there and they supported me no judgment the first meeting always the hardest showing up it
feels weird it feels funky but you can do it you got to join a program we have a great program here
and so we can offer you services but you can join whatever program that is near you we just want you
to to get out of this habit yeah and it's called the therapeutic alliance when you feel connected
to people in a way that feels good to you that's the most important factor so if that's not us
that's okay find one that feels good for you to connect and what i like about our program is
that you can show up and keep your video off and your audio off until you're ready so it becomes a
safe space so find a place that feels safe for you so you can show up and get the work done
all right zach thanks for joining me again i totally appreciate it five really important
steps for people keep moving you forward and i'll see you next time alright see ya