*Rings*
7/11.
Uh yeah Hello, this is 7/11 right?
Yes
I came in there like a couple hours ago and got a slurpee right?
Okay
I was wondering like- I haven't had it before. What do you put inside?
I was wondering like, I don't have it before, wha-what do you put inside?
Uh, the Slurpee syrup?
I don't know- are you guys having like a July 4th or something like that?
Where you are putting Alcohol inside or something like that?
No.
Okay, because I don't-
I am not feeling- excuse my language- I am feeling very fucked up right now.
*hangs up*
Hello? *laughs*
*rings*
7-11
Yeah, what's wrong with you lady? I was trying to tell you what happened and you hung up on me right?
Why did you hang it?
What can I do for you sir?
You tell me, I am struggling right now. I am wobbling all over the place. Just wobbling right?
I don't know what you would like me to tell you.
Okay, listen lady. Do you put alcohol in the drink or not? What happened?
No we don't.
Okay, but tell me one thing... do you have a stick up your ass? What's wrong with you? Why are you so rude?
If you don't like the Slurpee, bring the entire Slurpee back with your receipt and we will refund your Slurpee.
You're not going to scream at me.
Over a Slurpee.
Okay, everybody calm down. Okay? Okay. Hello? Mother ugly, where did you go?
*rings*
7-Eleven
Hi, I was just wondering... I came in there and I bought a couple Slurpees for me and my employee...
and I was just drinking it here at the office to cool off- I don't know if something is wrong.
Did you have any issues with it today?
I don't have any issues with my Slurpee machine
You know- I think maybe there is some Alcohol in it or something like this.
You just called three times with a different accent!
Habibti-
But you are calling with the same story!
I think there is a vein in your forehead about to pop. Okay? so...
Number one, relax.
No- nobody is yelling I am just saying you have called three times with a different accent-
Number two: stop being a bitch. Hello?
*laughs* I kept cutting her off- she hung up!
*rings*
7- eleven
Yeah, I am just reaching out. I was just wondering how much you are charging over there for those spiked Slurpees ?
We don't have spiked Slurpees
Well I just saw a post on facebook that said your location has some good good.
No, we have no alcohol in our Slurpees.
Okay, because there is this video on Instagram of this dude like driving and swirving around with a Slurpee cup
He's like yeah!
I got fucked up!
*hangs up*
Hello? *laughs*
*rings*
7-eleven
Habibti I think we got off on the wrong footing
I wanted to call you back- I don't know what happened but...
I never got to number three, I was stuck on number two.
Can I come in for like a refund or something at least?
If you come in and you bring the entire Slurpee with the Slurpee inside the cup, with you- I will give you a refund.
But Habibti it's like a frozen treat right? So it's going to be melted and have like-
You know the mass changes, right, like do you know about science and chemistry?
I know exactly what the fuck science and chemistry is.
It's going to be melted- I am aware of that.
So you have a high school perfect. Okay.
So I want to see- I'm going to come in and it might be like a little bit lessor but I had some, remember?
I drank some already, but as long as I bring it you're going to give me a refund, right?
No, because if you bring me an empty cup with a little bit of Slurpee juice in it- I'm going to throw it back in your face!
If you bring me a full cup with Slurpee- if you didn't like the Slurpee, you would have taken one sip of it
And said, "I don't like it, I'm bringing it back"
No, honestly it was like a great mixed drink! But I am at work
I can't be drunk! They sent me home- like you understand?
There is no alcohol in that Slurpee! I serve that Slurpee to kids every single day!
There's no alcohol in it!
If you're giving it to kids, you're a monster because they are going to school like a drunk and tipsy. And stuff like this-
Okay, exactly my point! There is no fucking alcohol in the Slurpee!
Habibti!
Stop calling this store or I will call the police. You have a high school diploma, do you know what police means?
The Police? Right? With a B?
Listen, let's sit down, you can take a sip. Maybe you will cool down a little bit because you are way too high strung.
Number one: you are stupid. Number two-
I am stupid? I am speaking perfect english and I can't understand what you're saying.
You're stupid, let me finish. Number two
I'm stupid? You're stupid! You don't even know what alcohol tastes like! It doesn't taste like a damn Slurpee!
Look- the alcohol, it will mellow you out. It will take you from a level 3 bitch to a 2
So trust me on this- you want to drink it.
Okay- I'll give you a level two, come over here, I'll give you a level two.
Was it you? You sound like you have a vendetta or something.
like was it- did you put in like a nice shot- it tastes like some cheap shit too
So I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow like I'm not happy about this.
You don't even sound drunk! You sound like you're a sober complete asshole!
No I have to be-
You don't even sound drunk!
I sound- listen I had to put on my best behavior because you are so like a crazy right?
Like you're giving me high blood pressure now
Oh, your best behavior? How old are you?
Yeah, you sound more drunk than me, have you been drinking the Slurpee yourself or what?
I have to go. If you think there is alcohol in the Slurpee
I'm coming now- I'm taking an uber. I will show you my receipt, will you reimburse me for the uber?
Oh, you're going to take an uber here? Man shut the fuck-
*laughs*