-Hey, guys, I'm about to show you some books
that you should avoid at all costs.
It is time for the latest installment of my
"Do Not Read" list.
♪ Do not read ♪
♪ Do not read these books ♪
♪ These books ♪
-Now, before we start, I just want you to know that
every book that I'm about to show you is 100% real.
These are actual books.
You can find them on Amazon or check them out
at your local library.
They are real.
Alright, let's see what's on my "Do Not Read" list.
This first one here is a book for all of you animal lovers.
This is called "Hamsters for Pleasure and Profit."
-Come on.
-I bet this has your usual advice on how to
make money off your hamsters, but who knows.
Let's take a look in here.
Oh. Hmm.
It says, "Begin!
Lose this day loitering, 'twill be the same old story,
tomorrow, and the next day more dilatory.
Each indecision brings its own delays,
and days are lost lamenting o'er lost days.
What you can do, or think you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!"
That is a quote by the
famous 17th century German writer Goethe.
Again, this is "Hamsters for Pleasure and Profit."
[ Laughter ]
Next up is a photography book. I love those ones.
This one is called "Women in Trees."
It is literally 100-plus pages
of old photos of random women sitting in trees.
And in case that wasn't enough for you,
they came out with
"More Women in Trees."
Yeah.
That's actually more of a stump. -Yeah.
-Yeah, sequels are never as good.
Next is a paranormal book. It's perfect for Halloween.
This is...
"Enjoy Your Own Funeral."
Sounds like a fun thing to do.
Look at these two people. They're clearly having a blast.
You should be able to enjoy your funeral.
It's your day, you know? -Yeah.
-Why should everyone else have all the fun?
[ Laughter ]
Why let everyone else have the fun?
Next is a book called...
"Is Eating People Wrong?"
I'm gonna save you the time reading this.
Uh, yes.
I'm not sure what category this next book belongs in,
but this is...
"This Man Touched Me."
-Come on.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. But you know what's even crazier, though?
Shocking about this.
No one checked it out.
Well, we're down to our last book.
-Oh, man.
-Well, it has -- You know, all good things.
-Yeah. -This is an autobiography.
Yep.
This is called...
"A Tramp Finds a Home."
[ Laughter ]
Let's just hope she doesn't live next to this guy.
There you go.
That's all I have for this edition of my
"Do Not Read" list.
If you have a book that you think should be
on our next "Do Not Read" list, I want to see it.
Send your titles to donotread@tonightshow.com.