Thank you, everyone.
We know people are concerned and want to keep their families and loved ones safe.
There’s a lot of bad information out there right now.
And the CIDC just wants to issue some basic common-sense guidelines
that everyone should follow during this crisis.
#1: Wash your hands with soap for at least 20 seconds coming up to the wrists.
#2: You just want to clean and disinfect any frequently touched surfaces or objects
like countertops or doorknobs.
#3: If you do have to cough or sneeze, do it into a tissue and then discard that tissue.
I don’t know why have to tell anybody that. Who keeps a used Kleenex?
If you need to sneeze or cough and don’t have a tissue, just try to
sneeze away from the people you’re with.
If you’re surrounded by people...
I don’t know, just try to sneeze toward someone you don’t like.
I’m just kidding. Don’t do that.
What you can do is you can sneeze or cough into the crook of your elbow.
So kind of like (sneeze) like that and that will keep the germs from spreading.
Don’t worry that was just a demonstration.
Don’t touch your face.
Don’t shake another person’s hand.
Don’t shake another person’s face.
In general, you want to avoid close contact.
Remember that expression “I wouldn’t touch them with a 10-foot pole?”
I know we’ve had that conversation, Jill.
So just think of it not a 10-foot pole...
It’s a six-foot pole, and you don’t want to touch anybody with it.
Or if you do just make sure you disinfect that pole when you’re done.
You don‘t wanna be in any large group.
So we recommend you avoid any groups more than 500 people.
So like a concert or a...
I’m sorry, any groups larger than 200 people.
So if you see more than 50 people, don’t go in that group.
Okay 10 people. So if...
You know what? Just don’t get any groups at all.
If you see another person just run the other way.
If you do go into a public place, like say a grocery store...
Make sure you buy at least two years worth of toilet paper.
In general, if the shelf looks empty and there’s only one or two items left, just buy them.
It doesn’t matter if you need them or not.
It’s also a great time to stock up on those foods you’re never gonna eat.
Anything that’s shelf-stable that you want to keep in your bunker.
Like cans of lima beans, creamed corn,
Vienna sausages, canned okra, hearts of palm, large containers of garlic salt,
Any of those are great options.
Obviously don’t drink Corona beer. I think we all know that.
But even Dos Equis, those two X’s are like the skull & crossbones on a bottle of poison.
And I’m told that Modelo is the Spanish word for death.
You want to stay away from all Chinese products.
Don’t eat Chinese food. Remember: lo mein, high risk.
Don’t play Chinese checkers. Don’t watch Chinese films.
You know that old expression: Chinese. Fight disease. Look at these.
There was some misleading information about the film Parasite,
the Oscar winner this past year, that I would like to clear up.
You won’t catch anything from watching this film.
In fact it’s not even Chinese, it’s Korean.
So that makes it one of the safest films you can watch.
Now there’s a side effect of this social distancing we’re all doing.
A condition known as Cabin Fever. (Coincidentally another Oscar-winning film.)
But this is in no way related to the coronavirus.
There are several ways you can combat this:
Any sort of social interaction you can do with the people you’re confined with.
Like playing games, having a fun little 80s sing-along night.
So like you could cheer yourself up by singing the song ”Come on, Eileen.“
And substitute the lyrics “COVID-19.”
A second option suggested by our staff is the song "Hey, Mickey.”
So it would go something like this:
C-O-V-D-1-9. In our homes we are confined. Hey sicky! Hey sicky!
C-O-V-D-1-9. Cause the markets to decline. Hey sicky! Hey sicky!
Just you know anything that’s fun like that.
In short, as Americans, and frankly as citizens of the world,
The best advice we can give here at the CIDC is that we all come together.
I mean, not literally. I mean stay away from each other.
But separately we can unite to lick this coronavirus.
Again, not literally.
Thank you. And stay safe.