All of us go through hard times, but how you respond in those times is often the most important
thing.
When younger, when I'd struggle I often found myself in a non-productive state.
The problem was that regardless of my issues, remaining in that state would have had detrimental
effects, whether it be on my schoolwork or my job.
In this video, I look at how I've learnt to respond to the hard times in a productive
way, and specifically what you can do if you hit a similar impasse yourself!
The reason I wanted to cover this subject is because not only is it something deeply
personal to me, but it's something that literally everyone will have to face in their lives
at some point.
For me it's been extremely difficult to cope with depressive states during certain periods
of time, and in the past I have had moments where I effectively mentally shut down when
trying to deal with these difficulties.
It's emotionally draining and can have negative compounding effects if left unmanaged.
The problem I soon grew to understand was that even if I stop, the world around me continues
to keep moving, so while a little downtime might be necessary, a prolonged period of
downtime will only serve to hurt me further and this has proven to be a problem for me.
Today, I actively look to apply techniques which allow me to cope and remain productive
during these times, as I understand that I may go through periods of difficulty, but
how I respond to them is fundamentally more important to my wellbeing.
And this technique is built upon the idea of the...
Incentive Theory
You see, the incentive theory of motivation is a behavioral theory that suggests people
are motivated by a drive for incentives and reinforcement.
This means that when your focus on those incentives that pull you towards them, your intrinsic
drive is to achieve those goals.
And this is a fundamental lesson I apply in my life, as I have personal life goals that
I strive to achieve or maintain and these are the driving forces to me behaving in alignment
to achieving those goals, as well as remaining productive.
So to understand a fundamental aspect of how the incentive theory works, you need to understand
types of reward, broken down into Consummatory Reward, or behaviour, and Incentive Reward.
In consummatory rewards you get instant gratification or satiation, but without any lasting effects.
For example, when you eat when hungry, once your hunger is curbed the effect of satisfaction
of the reward is short lived.
Instead, what we want to stay productive is Incentive Reward, whereby we're driven by
the pursuit and promise of the goal, which in itself is the reward as we feel a sense
of progression to something meaningful to us.
So in this instance, rather than pursuing something that's instantly gratifying, the
goal is often something that's less tangible and larger in scope.
This might be to be a good person, or to secure the longterm future for your family.
Those familiar with Stoic philosophy will be familiar with this concept, and it's something
that can be related to Simon Sinek's concept of understanding your "Why", which goes deeper
than the pursuit of just a result, and instead focuses on your mission.
So why does this work!?
It activates numerous parts of the brain, including the Hypothalamus, Amygdala and Prefrontal
Cortex.
This regulates hormonal activity and can have both a dopaminergic and analgesic effect,
meaning not only do you feel a sense of happiness from your progression towards your goal, but
you actually better manage the pain you feel, making it highly beneficial when coping with
difficult times.
So now that we understand a little about the theory and the science behind it, let's look
at it's...
Application
There is no one set way to apply these ideas, but over years of trying to ensure I don't
let myself struggle for too long, I have developed a system to help me cope with hard times.
To begin, I first spend time reflecting on my goals and why they are meaningful to me.
For example, without going into too much detail, one such goal is I aim to progressively grow
myself as an individual to be an example for my son.
This is of vital importance and meaning for me, as I want to help him live a fulfilling
and satisfying life, learning from my experience along the way.
This reflection process helps me to have a clear motivation to work towards, but then
I need to understand and focus on the individual tasks that help me progress towards that goal.
Now, if I'm working to be a positive example for my son by bettering myself, I'm definitely
not going to achieve that by wallowing in self pity, so my immediate task is to identify
those tasks which help me be in alignment with progressing towards the goal.
And guess what?
A good approach to being better educated and improving myself is to create content on this
channel!
Once I understand those other tasks I can go ahead and make progress on that, something
I usually do through a process of scheduling with time blocking.
I've already created a video on this before, so be sure to check it out if you want to
learn the process yourself.
I will link the video in the description.
Ultimately, following this process not only helps me deal with difficult times in a productive
and useful way, but is vital for my mental health.
So, give it a try yourself, and let me know how you get on when you do.
Thanks for watching.