- The Patriot Act.
- I'm a patriot!
- I'm Canadian.
(funky, upbeat music)
- [Crew Member] How long have you two been together?
What are you to each other?
- Uh, yeah, good question!
No, three months.
Partners?
Boyfriend, girlfriend?
We dropped the L-bomb this weekend.
- [Crew Member] Woo!
- That's true.
- Honestly, I don't really know.
- Yeah-- - Technically,
he asked me to be his girlfriend, like,
three weeks ago.
- We've been married,
well, we've been together for
16 years?
- 16 years.
- We just got married a month ago.
- A month ago!
- To the day. - Yeah.
- [Crew Member] You look a little nervous.
- [Both] Yes.
- I have performance anxiety.
- [Crew Member] Does he know
what your favorite sexual position is?
- Yeah, do you know?
- Hmm...
Reverse cowboy.
- Uh, or girl.
- Or girl.
Cowgirl.
- Well, there was the time you were 69-ing a dude
and I was banging him while you were underneath.
But yeah.
That was my favorite one. - Yeah.
- [Crew Member] We'll start off easy?
(Carmen's "L'amour est un oiseau rebelle")
- The Inside-Out Hot Dog.
- "Warning, may result in injury."
- I don't like that the sex position comes with a warning.
- How do you do a hot dog? - I don't know!
- I don't like hot dogs.
- This is more like a corn dog.
- I'm just trying different positions
until inspiration hits you.
- Okay, um...
- (yelling) I'm getting less horny by the minute!
(laughing)
- Isn't that the sound your ass makes?
(making a crunching noise)
(laughing)
- [Woman] There you go.
- [Man] The Inside-Out Hot Dog!
- This isn't comfortable.
- Second Breakfast.
Oh, this is like we're hobbits.
- Lay down.
- Right here?
- Wherever you want. - On the carpet?
- Whatever you want.
- How does that taste, baby?
You like it?
Well, I'm still hungry.
(Woman laughs)
- Mmm!
- Ooh, yeah!
- [Blonde Woman] More!
- And then, whoa, my god! - Whoa!
- [Crew Member] Are you all right?
- (laughing) Yeah!
- Backcourt Violation.
Do you consent to this?
(imitating a whistle)
- Double dribble!
You know what you have to do.
- Backcourt Violation!
- Do you think you're getting to the final four?
- That's when I shove my whole foot up your ass
from the back.
Backcourt Violation!
- Charitable Contribution.
- This is when only one person actually gets anything.
- Donate like this, baby.
- (laughing) How about you do?
I donate to you.
- Oh, thank you, madam.
- Think about your taxes!
- [Man In Gray Plaid] (laughing) Ahh!
Okay, you need to help me.
You need to give me a hand.
- Step this way.
- Stairway to Heaven.
- Ahh!
So, like...
(strangled choking)
(Sammy laughing)
- [Crew Member] Does this feel like Heaven, Sammy?
- [Sammy] Yeah!
- Yeah?
- Ha!
Historically Black College.
- Historically Black College.
Um, uh...
- We do this one every night! (laughs)
- I don't know, no.
I don't know that one.
- I feel like there's really no way to do this
without it somehow being racist.
- Yeah, I think we're gonna
pass on this one. - Yeah.
- I'm the student at the historically black college,
and you're the sexy teacher.
- But what does this have to do with a black college?
Just 'cos you're black? - I'm a black kid!
(laughs) I get a pass.
- Historically Black College! (laughing)
- Do you want an A?
- I'll do anything!
(laughing)
Historically Black College!
- [Man In Gray Plaid] (laughing) The Patriot Act!
- Honestly I don't really know what that is.
It's a movie, right?
- Oh, just get your phone and livestream it.
- Who's watching?
- Chris (bleep) and Stasia's watching! (laughing)
- I can be the flag, and then you can be the pole.
Ooh-wee!
- Flag? - Yes, in the air!
- I got an idea.
Lay. - Like, lay down facing up?
- Yeah, dude, facing me. - Okay.
- This is a flag, isn't it?
- Ooh, yeah, there!
- I'm a patriot!
- I'm Canadian.
- Am I pledging allegiance while getting a blow job?
- Yeah, I'm down on one knee.
(laughing)
- Touching the Void. - Touching the Void.
I think this is where I fondle your taint.
In the dark.
- Okay, so now, the void.
- Touching the Void!
- Oh yes!
- Just crawl through, just crawl through.
- All right.
- You're stretching me out so much!
- Alexa, lights off.
Oh my God, this is so great to have you inside my void.
- This is The Running Man!
(laughing)
- Churning Butter!
- Just go up and down! What are you--
- No, no, no. - Ow!
- Babe, this is like 65 now!
- Okurrr! (trilling)
- Stockholm Syndrome.
(various moans and groans)
- [Crew Member] Thank you, guys.
- Thanks.
I'm not gonna get fucked on that stool, though.
No.
(Crew Member laughs)