[typing]
You know, often when I'm trying to come up with a game to review on LGR,
I just wanna cover something that
is filled with fond memories and
childhood enjoyment.
And then I get to researching it and find out that
it's possibly one of the most controversial games
on the decade it was released in.
Now what controversial game am I talking about?
SimCopter,
developed and published by Maxis in 1996
for Windows PCs.
Remember this guy from SimCity 2000?
PILOT: SimCopter One reporting heavy traffic.
LGR: Yes, you finally got to play as him!
"Fly missions in the metropolis."
Aw, this was just about the coolest thing ever when I saw it back then,
being both a massive SimCity 2000 fan
and lover of helicopter games ever since EA's LHX.
The box's selection of screenshots made it look really graphically stunning, too.
And seeing as this was Maxis' first fully-3D game,
it just got me all the more excited.
However, I ended up getting Streets of SimCity instead,
as I only had the money for one of them,
and cars trumped helicopters.
That game used the same 3D engine and SC2K integration,
but lacked the touch of Will Wright,
creator of SimCity and head of the SimCopter project.
In fact, this was one of the three games he was working on at the time.
One being a game about simulating the Hindenburg airship
that never came to fruition,
and the other being Dollhouse,
which would eventually turn into The Sims.
Although it's SimCopter that has the honor of being the first game to include Simlish,
the fictional language spoken by Sims in Maxis games ever since.
Now while SimCopter was a forerunner at Maxis, and was all kinds of unique,
it was also an unfortunate victim of corporate pressure.
This is a game from Maxis' first "Dark Age,"
the period from 1995 to 1997 or so
that led to them bleeding cash and releasing a string of lackluster stuff,
resulting in the Electronic Arts buyout.
After the immense success of SimCity and SimCity 2000,
Maxis expanded greatly in 1994.
In an effort to continue their sales numbers,
the people in charge demanded that no less than four games be made for 1996.
Resources were already spread thin trying to get so many games made,
but then with a launch window set in stone,
Mr. Wright and his team never got the chance to make the game they really wanted to.
And sadly, those cut corners showed.
But enough with the life lessons.
Inside the box, you get the game on a single CD-ROM,
the usual assortment of catalogs, registration cards and Maxis paperwork,
and a substantial monochrome manual.
Definitely keep this on hand
because the actual game is shockingly low on instruction or helpful tips,
and there are a ton of commands you'll need to know in order to not suck.
And in this original release,
you also got these gnarly, SimCopter- branded aviator sunglasses.
[electric guitar riff]
SimCopter starts with a pre-rendered 3D intro,
showing, like, one thing you can do...
and that's it.
Did you know that helicopters could fly past burning buildings?
Well, if not, you do now.
After this stunning revelation comes the menu.
Opening a user game is a good idea straight away,
since you can access a tutorial map
to get yourself acquainted with the controls.
Oh, and you can change the options here,
which is good because by default
the game looks even more like dookie than it needs to.
Starting a career is where most of the content lies,
although you can also choose to play any SimCity 2000 city file
and cause mayhem without incurring any penalties.
There are eight levels of difficulty to unlock,
with multiple cities in each level,
so just pick one and hope you make it through the loading screen
without crashing the game.
If you're successful, then congratulations!
Have a janky walking animation.
In SimCopter, you play this weird, nameless pilot dude,
and you're in charge of taking care of the city's antics, aerially.
Waltz on into your hangar and from here, you can see your career progress thus far,
as well as enjoy some excellent music from Jerry Martin,
which happily reminds me of his later SimCity 3000 soundtrack.
[ethereal music]
You start off with the most basic of helicopters,
but you progress by earning cash,
letting you own a total of eight helis and a bunch of upgrades.
Take care of the first one you have, though, because if you destroy it,
and you don't have the money for a new one, then game over.
Once you walk back outside, choose a chopper,
start it up, and take off.
Now while this IS a flight simulation,
it's one of the few that I say you don't need to bother using a joystick for.
The manual even states as much,
talking about how it's optimized for keyboard and mouse play, and makes sense,
considering the control layout and how basic the flight model is.
Either way, fly around until the game tells you something is going on.
The way this works is that, depending on your current career level,
you'll be given a number of randomized events to take care of,
and then you'll earn experience points and money for completing them.
To start with, it's all simple stuff like dispersing traffic jams
and collecting and transporting Sims,
and performing medivacs.
The way you accomplish these are either by using your megaphone
or physically picking up Sims
and adding them as passengers to your helicopter and getting them to safety.
The megaphone is a very useful tool
and can be used to either warn or command Sims to do different things.
You see that glowing circle beneath the chopper?
That's the searchlight,
and it's how you'll go about selecting Sims to command via the megaphone,
among other things.
And picking up Sims is easy enough.
Just drop your aircraft down on a flat surface nearby
and they'll hop right onboard.
If they're too beat up to walk, though, you can get out,
pick them up and awkwardly carry them inside yourself.
And delightfully, you can also toss Sims out the side while you're flying, too.
Hee hee hee.
This actually leads to an interesting set of circumstances if you do it right.
See, if you don't kill them, but instead only seriously injure them,
this will result in a medivac call.
Since the reward for completing these
is greater than the penalty for injuring Sims,
you can actually game the system by picking up random Sims,
tossing them overboard to their doom,
then picking up their bloody, mangled body for extra cash.
How's THAT for capitalism?
But it's not all bodily injuries and lawsuits waiting to happen.
You could also attend to random events that aren't given to you as missions at all.
Like chasing down speeders
and calling the cops on them for a small finder's fee.
Before long, you'll have more complex missions coming your way,
like chasing down armed criminals that are on the run from the police,
attending to car and building fires,
and dispersing riots, using tear gas and loud words.
And the more you outfit your copter in upgrades,
the more difficult types of missions you can do,
which of course result in higher payouts.
Like being able to rescue Sims that have shipwrecked at sea
by lowering a harness down into the water that they can grab onto.
Or even chasing down runaway trains,
with Sims on top that are gonna die
unless you can snatch them off the top of the train before it's too late.
And if you look in the right spot,
you can even find the Apache helicopter.
That's right!
A military chopper, complete with missiles
and machine guns that you can fire,
letting you become the villain and destroy entire cities!
[sinister laugh]
Yeah, this completely defeats the sole purpose of the game,
but who cares?
It's entirely too much fun.
And it also means that you can create tons of fires and injured Sims
that will need rescuing in your other choppers,
which means you're effectively printing your own money
by going on a murderous rampage.
Oh, if you keep it up, sometimes aliens will notice
and be like, "Whoa, this dude's pretty crazy."
"Maybe we can use him for our alien cause and stuff."
Yeah, SimCopter may look serious,
but every other minute you'll run into something light-hearted and absurd,
and I love it for that.
There's some pretty exciting stuff that goes on in this game for sure,
but it's nothing compared to the infamous Easter egg.
Remember that controversy that I mentioned?
Well check this out.
When you meet a certain set of criteria,
like completing a certain mission or playing the game on a specific date,
any Sims in the area will turn into...
these guys.
A bunch of dudes wearing speedos that, uh,
start kissing each other loudly.
Not only that, but you can jump out and start making out with them yourself.
As you might expect for a game rated for kids,
this was not supposed to be in here.
Turns out there was a disgruntled employee at Maxis named Jacques Servin.
Being in charge of creating the Sims in the game,
and also being gay,
he thought it would be amusing to include scantily-clad men in the game
alongside the existing scantily-clad women
he was told to create.
They were only supposed to appear under very specific circumstances,
but a bug caused it to happen at other times too.
And instead of just a few dudes, hundreds of them would appear,
all making out with each other at once.
This was caught by Maxis,
but not before the game had already shipped
with the Easter egg intact.
As a result, the games on store shelves were pulled,
the code was removed,
a patch was released to "de-gay" the game,
and Servin was fired.
This led to a small media frenzy for multiple reasons, as you would expect,
but also the exposure of a group known as RTMark,
an anti-consumerist activist collective.
RTMark made it clear that they'd paid Servin $5,000 to pull off the gay prank in SimCopter.
Servin, also known by his alias, Andy Bichlbaum,
was a founding member of RTMark,
and went on to participate in other vigilante, culture-jamming groups,
such as the Yes Men.
Yeah, suffice to say,
SimCopter really is the pinnacle of offbeat, quirky flight sims, as far as I'm concerned.
Only Maxis could come up with a game as bizarre and broken, yet thoroughly enjoyable, as this one.
It may be unstable, buggy and look like pureed anus,
but it's also just pure fun and hugely rewarding to play.
There were so many neat little touches to this game,
like the radio stations, complete with spoof commercials and exuberant DJs
spewing weirdness in between classical, jazz, rock and techno music.
I can't help but wonder what else the game would have been
had the developers been given the time to create all they set out to
with the level of finesse that they desired.
Sadly, it has never been revisited
in any official capacity,
and the game is nigh impossible to run on modern systems.
Here's hoping a fan-made update
or an official rerelease is in the cards for someday,
but until then, if you can find a copy and get it working,
great!
It's still well worth your time,
even with all its flaws.
[music]
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