Kind of still feels like a dream
or a bad dream.
Doesn't really feel like anything's really happened.
I see it on the news
and I still can't really believe
that I was there.
There was some popping sounds
that everybody thought maybe were fireworks.
Just really enjoying the concert.
And then all of a sudden we hear
what sounds kind of like like like firecrackers.
You know it was like
tah tah tah.
Like firecrackers in like a metal barrel.
And then next thing you know
we hear the shots again because you
heard that prrrrrrrah
and then you can hear it you can hear it ricocheting off
of everything.
You could hear a hitting buildings here
and hitting the concession stands.
You can hear it hitting the floor
and the ground and everything.
Like literally 10 feet in front of us a security
guard that had told us to put our
hands up because he was on my shoulders.
He got hit immediately
and other people started getting hit.
Everybody faces immediately changed
and the reaction on everybody's
faces.
And everyone running away
from the stage or at least that I could think
that's the direction that I ran into.
And then it just seemed like the whole crowd
just started just coming at me.
I thought we were going to die.
I started screaming.
My daughter started screaming.
Yelling for Aiden,
yelling for Samantha.
A man came up from behind me,
grabbed her like a sack of potatoes,
grabbed me by my belt loops,
and was like run
now.
It was like a nightmare.
You know you're just so scared you're just running.
All I can
remember now actually are the popping sounds of the
rifle rounds
or whatnot. You think the worst
and especially if your kid.
It was like a war zone, honestly.
The bullets just, they just kept coming.
It
just didn't stop.
You know that was something we were
like why you know why aren't
they stopping like what what's
going on.
They were all trying to keep me calm.
I had told them I had been hit.
And they ended up
carrying me to the main road.
We need your truck.
We just need to get people over to the hospital.
Okay? Go ahead. Put the mall in the back, put them all in the back.
Can you ah,
can you pull over towards the side over there.
You know what this person right here, hold up, hold up. Someone
in my truck,
or car ended up being transporting me
to dessert springs hospital.
People came out of nowhere.
These men and helped us
up and basically threw us
in the back of that truck.
You know we had eight in the back in the bed
of the truck,
four of whom were shot.
We actually had four people in our back seat
plus me and her.
And it was just [inaudible].
There was one girl that was shot in the backseat.
You didn't know what we were going to come into.
All I knew that there was is,
that there was a mass casualty
incident
and that they needed trauma nurses,
they needed us to come in.
You followed a pool of blood
into work
and the halls were lined
with people all injured,
scared.
Everywhere, absolutely everywhere
and most of us ended up
with blood all over us that night.
It was kind of surreal.
There is literally a trail of
blood going in to the hospital
from the parking lot.
People were being pulled up
and trucks in the back of trucks
in limos
and Ubers
and they came in by four
six eight,
we were just grabbing
people as fast as we could
and getting them inside the building so we could
stabilize some.
So a lot of people as they were running got shot in the back.
So I got shot in the back leg.
There was some things you know in lower back
area. Is that bullet in the abdomen somewhere.
If so that has to be fixed.
And it's a much bigger deal.
At one point in one of our trauma
bays there was a pool of blood.
You know we're standing in a pool
of blood.
That entire rest of the night was a blur.
You walked through those doors to go home
when you sat in your car
and I think most of us went home
and cried.
It just started.
It was nonstop just crying
and crying and crying
and crying and then all of those emotions just
hit like a massive wall.
I wish we could've done more.
It keeps coming in waves.
The images keep coming.
My daughter she came to me
and she says 'Mommy,
I don't know how I'm going to go to sleep tonight.'
I said, 'well why not.
Just cuddle and sleep with your stuffed animal.'
She said, 'but mommy every
time I close my eyes I'm right back there.
Every time I close my eyes I know I hear the gunshots I
see people falling
and I see you know people running
and screaming.' She said 'I think
I can't sleep.
I don't know it's just going to take me
being around my family, you know.
You know me and Haley we
shared this experience together.
I think just talking through it too will
definitely help us.
There may never be closure.
Because those memories will always be there.
But being thankful
for still being here when
there are so many people that were not so
fortunate.
Just being with your family
and friends it just you
heal over time.
You might not ever forget.
But you will heal.