[Captions by Judy V. at Y Translator] Hey guys! I'll be honest.
I don't really know where to start with this video.
So, I'm just gonna let my camera keep rolling, and I guess talk.
I thought this would be a pretty important video to do just
because school is coming up,
and a lot of you guys have started school.
I actually wanted to make this video because a lot of people have been
either tweeting at me, messaging me, emailing me about mental health issues,
like either anxiety, depression, and I know a lot of you guys who are
messaging me, either your stories, they're telling me about your
anxiety or depression, or just things going on in your life.
I know a lot of you guys are really young,
and when I think about myself
when I was that age,
I was never depressed.
I never had anxiety up until a few years ago.
I didn't know what that was like back then.
Growing up, I had anger issues.
I would fight with my Dad a lot.
I would get into fights at school.
And I guess thinking about it back then, I never thought it was depression
or anything, you know, wanting to hurt yourself.
Like the first time I ever wanted to hurt myself, I can't remember why.
All I know is I was crying.
I was in the car with my Dad, and I took it pen,
and I was just trying to like cut my leg,
and then soon after, I realized this is really stupid.
This is such a terrible way to cope with something.
Hurting myself is not going to do anything.
It's not going to fix my situation.
It's not going to make me feel better.
It'll make me feel worse.
It'll leave me with scars.
It's just not the way to handle it.
I've had people in my life hurt themselves,
and it just makes me so sad.
Like whether it's you guys, or whether it's a friend, family, whatever.
It seems like it's a thing when it really should not be.
Like when you're sad, depressed, anything, I don't want any of you
guys to think about hurting yourselves.
The best way I can put it is that it will solve nothing.
And this is coming from somebody who has struggled with depression
for a while now, and I feel like I'm finally at a point where it's
getting better that I can talk about it.
I've always kind of avoided it just because I didn't want to talk about it
or I'd make jokes like cover it up.
There have been multiple times where I thought like I can't do this anymore.
I can't take it.
It would just be easier for me, and everybody else if I was just gone.
There it is.
That sigh.
I should have started the video off like that.
But yeah.
What I wanted to say is that that will not solve anything.
You might be going through some struggles right now, or your life
might be absolutely terrible.
You might have some things going on at home, at school,
but I want to tell you there is nothing, absolutely nothing
that you can't overcome.
I know it sounds so cliche but you have the power to completely 360 your life.
Change it.
Have any kind of life that you'd want to have, and I feel like with depression,
what got me out of it was having a goal, was working towards something,
and keep having something to look forward to.
At the times where I just wanted to end my life, I didn't want to live anymore.
I thought about my family, my friends, you guys obviously.
There are people who love you.
In the end, if you hurt yourself, you're only gonna hurt the people who love you.
I do care about you guys.
So don't think that, oh nobody cares about me, because I do.
There's people that tweet me and interact with me every single day,
and one day, when they stopped doing that, I noticed,
and I asked, like I've message fans,
subscribers before like, where did you go?
Is everything okay?
Like I understand some people like grow up, get a real job,
where they have to work.
They don't have time for YouTube and stuff anymore.
But I do like to think I know you guys like that.
When I was in high school and college, I didn't know what I was doing in my life.
I had no idea.
I had no idea I was gonna do YouTube, and that would have 11 million subscribers,
and like if you told me that back then, I would just laugh at you.
Even if you told me two years ago that I would have over 10 million
subscribers, I'd be like, you funny.
But now looking back at that, I feel like I can do anything,
and if I can do anything, you guys can do anything.
Like I got a message from a 12 year old who said they were depressed,
and that they wanted to end their life, and I just thought I can't imagine
somebody that young is having such a hard time.
Like nobody should feel like that.
There are so many people that would miss you if you were gone.
There are so many people that love you, and your life has basically just begun.
I'm old as hell compared to you guys.
Like I've been through a lot.
Like I just want each and every one of you to believe that things do get
better, and I know I always talk about that, and I always believe
that even in the worst times, you have to believe
that things will get better for you.
Because they will.
I never thought my life would be like this.
I never thought my life would be so...
I don't know how to say it, blessed?
I feel like everybody has the power to change their lives however they want.
So if you're sitting here thinking, oh school sucks.
I hate this.
I hate my life.
My life is terrible.
You're at home situation might be awful.
You hate your parents, there are kids that bully you in school.
Well guess what, school doesn't last forever.
You'll be out of school, you'll be out of your parents house,
you'll move out,
you'll be able to do whatever you want,
have your own car,
drive wherever you want to,
go wherever you want to, live wherever you want to.
Your situation won't last forever.
You can change it however you'd like.
I want you guys to look forward to that.
So if you feel like you have nothing to look forward to,
you have so much to look forward to in your life.
There's probably a lot of things that you want to do,
whether it's move out,
travel the world, have a baby, start a family you know, like all that.
I remember when I was living with my parents,
me and my Dad would fight all the time.
I was grounded almost every single day.
I had to sit in my room.
I wasn't allowed to go downstairs.
Until my Dad went to sleep, then I could go downstairs, and eat and do
things, and it was just so miserable.
I hated being at home.
I like couldn't wait to move out, and do my own thing.
When I got a car, that was the best.
Like it felt like for the first time in my life, I could go out and do things.
I could do whatever I wanted.
Not really, but you know, it's way more freedom than I was used to.
I don't really want to talk about anxiety because I feel like I haven't--
I haven't learned to get past that yet.
I mean, I wanted to tell you guys that you're not alone.
If everything gives you a panic attack, I want you to know that I feel you.
So many things trigger that.
I've never had anxiety my whole life until a few years ago,
until so many terrible [bleep] started happening to me.
Starting with my dog dying, and then the car accident right after.
Other things in the blink of an eye,
your whole life can be turned upside down.
I think that's what really triggered it and started it.
All I know is Yoga help, breathing exercises help.
You know it sounds stupid but in yoga, they taught us,
connect your two fingers like this.
Go like this.
Breathe in with your nose.
So [bleep] stupid when I do it by myself.
Like usually we do it in a room with a bunch of other people,
and you don't hear yourself because everybody else is saying it.
But yeah, breathing exercises do help.
I know stupid as it sounds, it does work.
But y'all know me.
Yeah. I just wanted to let you guys know that I care about you guys,
and I don't want to see do anything stupid.
I want to see you be very successful, and live your lives, change your lives,
live it how you want, and yeah.
So, always remember things get better.
Said it ten times.
I'll say it ten more times.
But things, they'll always get better, and it might get worse again,
but they'll keep getting better and worst, and better.
I don't know, I guess that's what life is.
Life is just a series of good and bad days.
But you know, live for the good days.
Good days are the best part.
I feel like there's more things that I need to talk about,
but I can't really think right now.
I'm sorry for making this a dedicated video,
but I feel like this needed to be said.
And also with school, I know there's a lot of issues
that happen at school.
But online high school is now a thing.
My sister actually does it, she's still doing it.
So I don't know if that might be for you.
Also just drama, I know there's a lot of that.
I know there's bullies.
Bullies will keep picking on you until you stand up to them.
They're only gonna keep doing it if you're just going to
keep quiet and take it.
But if someone is going to bully you, I'll give you my full permission, go on!
Go on, sis.
Is this inappropriate to take a Starbucks break because I'm thirsty?
Like this guy in high school, he was talking [bleep] about me on Facebook.
He didn't think I would go up to him the next day, and punch him in the face.
But guess what I did?
Never said anything about me again.
Nothing mean at least.
Other than that, he's a pretty swell guy.
But anyways, that's all for today.
I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
Is it even enjoying or
just staying woke?
I hope y'all stayed woke throughout the-- I feel like I'm
using this in the wrong context.
Hope y'all enjoyed this video, and hope y'all stay woke.
And make sure you subscribe, and join the wolf pack,
and hit that like button in the face!
I love you guys.
I truly do.
I want y'all to live y'all best lives.
Thank you for watching.
Bye guys.