I admit sometimes I have biases that can
be harmful well but one of the things
I've been actively working on is to stop
trashing men because yes even though we
can all agree the undeniably have some
inherent privileges that women do not me
lumping them all together with phrases
like men are garbage they're literally
garbage is not fair or helpful and I
certainly do not like hearing men say
things like all women care about is how
tall you are how much money you have so
in an effort to be the change you want
to see in the world
I am consciously trying to be more
sympathetic to the male experience and
to stop using language that is harmful
and dismissive and generalizing what
provokes this well I was at a party
talking to a girl when she said yeah I
just don't think real men cry what yeah
no he like cried and I got to super
turned off so I stopped seeing him
seriously he's a human being of course
he's gonna cry no I just want my
boyfriend to be like a rock you know she
was 100% serious I was like oh my god
you're the problem you're perpetuating
toxic masculinity and these harmful
stereotypes that men have to suppress
their emotions how dare you Brees frame
on my dumb stupid face in the middle of
my high horse lecture I remembered every
single instance where I unconsciously
fed into toxic masculinity like denying
a friend's reality just because of his
gender you know it's really hard as a
dude oh what's hard is it dude please
Jimmy please enlighten me I can't wait
to hear this oh my god what is so hard
as dude so when you have to say hi to
someone you got to give them like a
handshake right but what if they want to
go for the clasp what if they wanted
bumpers
well if they want to five it sometimes I
gotta catch the whoa I can't keep up
with these trends and you have a split
second to decide and if you mess it up
its awkward as hell dude Wow
yeah okay actually that does sound I
mean like as a girl I have like smile
and wave
handshake hug those are my only options
I'm glad I could enlighten you or even
jokingly is saying phrases that minimize
pain like man up Jimmy I
can't dad Mohsen balls and get back in
your body even I have at one point or
another in my life
bought into the false societal ideas
that real men are supposed to be
powerful strong capable can fix anything
unemotional providers commitment averse
because they value independence more
than companionship shouldn't enjoy girly
activities like baking or knitting or
can't be victims of abuse as seriously
as women can and on and on and on and
toxic masculinity at its core says that
real men don't struggle and if they do
they should struggle silently and
without complaint I mean which is both
right because real men are real humans
and we all know that the human condition
is pretty much just suffering all the
time
I think we can all agree that being a
humanist tiring and hard and very
painful so from this moment on I want to
be more conscious of how I've been
contributing to the heteronormative
gender divide and toxic masculinity and
full-stop I'm Anna Akana and thank you
so much to Squarespace for sponsoring
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