- Jacqueline?
Jacqueline, please don't do this.
Jacqueline?
Please don't do this.
- Listen, Jermaine.
You had your chance.
- Baby, please.
I'll change.
- Listen, honey.
It is too late.
- What do you mean?
- Hey, what's gucci, mi hermano?
The name's Todd.
- Todd?
No!
Who is this?
Are you kidding me?
This guy?
- Yeah, Jackie told me so much about you.
- Jackie?
Jacqueline, come on.
I've been trying to make that a thing for years.
- Yeah, but it just sounds so much
better when it comes out of Todd's mouth.
- Jackie was telling me you used to play baseball.
- I guess, in the minors.
- Yeah, you look like you got a gun on you, huh?
Were you a pitcher?
You used to throw that heat?
- Wait, what are you doing?
Are you charming me, Todd?
Stop.
Just stop.
- Todd is very charming, and he's a
real man who knows how to treat a real woman.
- Uh huh.
- What's that even mean?
- Well, he's also really, really good at massages, so.
- Like, how good can they... - Oh, there you go.
- Oh my gosh.
- I went to massage therapy school part time
when I was training to become a firefighter.
You have some knots in you.
- That's really admirable, Todd.
- Hey, thanks for saying that J-Town.
- Okay, don't nickname him.
- Well, maybe he likes it.
You like J-Town?
- J-Town.
I love that.
That's really cool. - Yeah.
- Okay, me and Todd are going
to live a wonderful life.
We'll be happy without you.
Come on, Todd.
- I think that's my cue to leave.
You know how she gets.
- Yeah, man.
There she goes.
(laughs)
- You're bad.
- Hey, before you go.
I was wondering.
Are you in musical theater at all?
- I tend to dabble in the theatrical arts.
- Okay, because I just have two free
Wicked tickets now.
You know, now that ol' Jacqueline is gone,
I was wondering if maybe you?
- Wicked?
Yeah, I'd love to see that!
- Yeah? (laughs)
- It's been sold out for ages.
Of course!
- Okay, okay okay.
Stop it, okay?
Listen, honey, Jermaine, I love you.
This is my friend Todd from pottery class,
and he agreed to help me make you jealous,
but it's you that I want.
This was all an elaborate plan, honey.
- I'm fine and all, but Todd here.
This is who you should be with.
Look at him. (laughs)
Look at this guy!
- What?
- He's a man amongst boys.
A king amongst peasants.
- Hey, don't sell yourself short, J-Town.
You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.
- That's absolutely beautiful.
- No, it's not beautiful, honey.
It's a line from The Help featuring Octavius Spencer.
Okay?
He's charming you.
That's what he does.
- Listen, Jackie.
I'm beginning to think you don't
want me to be happy at all. - What?
- And that's why I'm leaving you.
- Honey, what?
- And I'm taking Todd here with me.
Let's get out of here.
- Guys?
Jermaine?
Fucking Todd.
He's got the magic touch.
(dubstep music)