- My girl calls 'em tennis shoes,
and I want to throw up every time.
(laughing)
What is wrong with you?
Why is your name Agnes all the sudden?
Tennis shoes.
♪ I was born on the South Side ♪
♪ I was raised on the South Side ♪
♪ Everybody stick together like we in the lie ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't no side like the South Side ♪
- Hey, welcome everybody to another episode
of Cooler By The Lake.
Huh?
- [All] Yeah! (clapping)
- Hell yeah. - Where we talk
all things South Side, and we ask important questions
like is President Barack Obama more of a GD or a Vice Lord?
- I don't know,
but I'm pretty sure it's whatever gang is in Kenya,
(laughing) where he's from.
Just kidding.
(group laughing)
- Born and raised. (laughing)
- I'm your host, Will Miles.
- And I'm your host, Langston Kerman.
- And today we're joined by star actor of South Side,
Ed Williams the third everybody.
Ed Williams the third. (clapping)
And in tonight's episode of South Side,
we watch the harrowing fight
of survival in a world with limited sneaker releases.
(group laughing)
- Jordan!
(hip hop music)
Jordans on the truck!
- There's a Jordan truck!
(feet stomping) - Door, shut the door!
Shut the door, shut the door! - No!
(crowd yelling)
- And now we want to find out how far is too far
in an effort to cop a pair of new sneaks?
- Well, me personally, I'm a Jordan sneakerhead.
When it comes to Jordans,
it depends on which number they are.
I wouldn't do anything for a pair of ones.
- No offense taken.
- I love that he pointed
at my shoes. (laughing)
- Those are trash.
(laughing) - Yeah, no I get it.
These are cheaper.
(laughing)
- Supply and demand, you know. - Yes, yes, yes.
- You can get those anywhere,
but like a pair of you know, like the Concords 45.
Like you're not going to get this everywhere.
Yeah I picked it up after I got divorced.
- Oh, there you go. - Okay.
- That's when I became a sneakerhead.
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, sure.
- Sometimes it takes something like that to
yeah, get into things like sneakers.
- Sometimes a part of your soul has to break.
- I was trying to walk away so, you know.
- What qualifies a sneakerhead?
- I think you have to have all three of these things,
these qualities to become a sneakerhead.
- And there's a list here-- - Yeah, hell yeah.
- One, you have to view your shoes as still currency.
Like if we were playing dominoes right now
and I ran out of money or something like,
I'm gambling.
I'm like look, - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I got these. - Yeah, yeah yeah.
- This is just as good as money.
- Yeah.
- If you still look at your shoes as money
then you might be a sneakerhead.
- Sure.
- So that would mean like you're buying
and you're reselling?
You're using them as actual like--
- That's number two. - Okay, hell yeah.
- You have to have sold a pair of used shoes
and bought a pair
of used shoes. - I've done all of them.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Oh, you're sick.
- I have a problem then.
I've got off-whites on deck in case all this shit fails.
(group laughing)
- See, it's currency right?
- Yeah, oh yeah.
- Third, you have to have a bottle of waterproof.
Like if you don't spray your shoes, you don't care.
- Yeah. - You spraying?
- I spray.
- Next question, this is important.
How many shoes are too many shoes?
You guys both have now sort
of qualified yourselves as sneakerheads.
What would you say is too many?
- You know, that's tough.
I'm thinking like man, in my closet
I have more shoes than outfits.
- Oh, man.
- But I dress myself from the feet up.
- Sure. - So, you know,
it's like what shoes am I going to wear
and then I can build the outfit.
- What I love is that you put your shoes
on before your pants.
(group laughing)
And your shirt.
- Yeah.
- So you just are out here like a fresh-ass Winnie-the-Pooh
for a second (group laughing)
during your day.
- I've had to get my own closet.
- Do they-- - Just for shoes.
- Are they out of the closet?
- No, they're inside of a closet.
Some are in boxes still, some of like the ones
where you like call them ice pairs.
Like, maybe you got a pair that you really love.
Like I got some Fear of Gods in there.
I've got an ice pair of Fear of Gods too
just in case these get a little dirty.
- Yeah - You got the ice pair.
- I don't know what any
of this means - Yeah, you know
you got to get the ice pair. - Put 'em on ice.
It's the same shoe. - Chilling--
- It's the same shoe but you got two pairs
cause you never know, you might need that second pair.
- Wow.
- It's a legit problem. - Yeah.
- Too many is probably five.
But I've got more than that.
(group laughing)
- How are you all preparing for the point
when we run out of water?
- These will be currency! (laughter)
This is where we get back to currency.
- Yeah!
- You think that the people are going to be willing
to trade water for Jordans? - Yes!
- If you want my-- - All right.
- This is my investment.
Look, give me a gallon of water,
I'll give you these Union Jordans.
(group laughing)
- I need a pair of flights. - Flights, you know?
- I'll give you my iced off-whites.
- Unworn. - I'm sure you'll find
something to do with them.
Is there anyone that you would cut out of your life?
How much would you sacrifice for a pair of shoes?
- I don't have to feed my shoes
so I say maybe my kids.
- Wow, all right.
There you go, they can go.
- I was going to say-- - That one kept
a straight face the whole time.
(laughing) - Cousin I haven't talked
to in 15 years is how I would go.
- Sure, he's like naw, the people
that need me the most. - Straight faced.
Right here. (laughter)
Right here, look. (laughter)
My kids.
- Wow all right.
This leads actually to, I guess a good question.
What's the worst thing you've ever done
for a pair of shoes?
- Would you kill a man?
- Would I kill somebody?
- I'm honestly holding my breath.
- Me too.
He's already cut off his kids.
Let's be clear about that. (laughter)
- Would I have to kill
that person? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like physically?
- Yeah you'd have to. - Already, we're getting
into conspiratorial charges.
(group laughing)
- Blood on your hands. - Yeah.
- What if I just like set it up?
Like some, like Final Destination?
- Also not good but yes.
- This is like a-- - Either version
of it you're a monster.
(group laughing)
Chris Hanson comes out. - Right, right, right.
- What were you going to do with those sneakers?
(group laughing)
- That's the end.
(group laughing)
We talked all we could talk about shoes and stuff.
I'm Langston Kerman.
- And I'm Will Miles.
- And this has been our guest,
Ed Williams the third. - Ed Williams the third.
- Give it up for him, yeah! (Clapping)
- Tune in next week.
- Yeah, we'll be back
♪ I was born on the South Side ♪
♪ I was raised on the South Side ♪
♪ Everybody stick together like we in the lie ♪
♪ Cause there ain't no side like the South Side ♪