-Hi. In this video, I'm going to share seven sexting
secrets to turn a man on. Buckle up, ladies. This one's going to be fun.
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-Hi, ladies.
Mat Shaffer, your empowerment connection and relationship coach.
I'm a former attorney who's committed his life to supporting
you in creating the fun fulfilling dynamic connections
and relationships with men that you're so profoundly worthy of.
I am really looking forward to diving into this topic.
We're going to dig into seven powerful tips and tools you can use
to sext like a pro with your partner.
What is sexting? Sexting is sexy texting.
It's integrating the physical aspect of your relationship into
your text messages with him.
Men, they love this stuff.
They eat it up, but it's important that you do it in the right
way, or else it can actually alienate and push a man away.
Sexting is something that can be really fun both in the
early stages of getting to know somebody or no matter how
long you've been with them.
No matter where you're at in your relationship, this is going to
make a difference and it's going to deepen your connection with your guy.
Before we dig into it, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and don't forget to click that link in the comments and caption
because I have created some awesome training that's going to make a
huge difference in your connections and relationships with men.
Ladies, don't forget to sound off in the comments and let us know what
have been your favorite sext that you had sent a guy that have really got
him turned on and really lit him up.
I'd love for you to share because I know I'm not going to cover them all.
Some of the best learning we can do from each other is in the
sharing that we do in the comments.
As this video is going, think about it what fun sexting have
you done with your partner, and let us know down below.
Sexting secret number one is don't be afraid to
initiate sexting with a man.
I know a lot of women are resistant to initiating physicality like this
because they're afraid of coming off too masculine or too pushy or
demanding with a guy, but ladies, touch is a primary love language.
Physical connection is huge for almost all men.
Think of sexting as a remote way for us to fool around with you.
Trust me when I say we are almost always going to be up for it.
Don't be afraid to just throw us the ball and see what happens.
You're not going to come off as masculine especially if you do it in
a playful feminine inviting way which is what we're going to cover next.
How do we initiate sexting in a way that maintains polarity
and actually invites him to take the lead in the dialogue?
The key is to take it slowly and build up the heat.
While I know it's tempting to want to jump right in with a direct
statement of what you want to do to him in the sheets or down on
the kitchen floor or out in the backyard, it's actually going to be
a lot more polarizing and enticing for him if you use a teasing sexy
statement that opens the door for you two to have this dialogue together.
One great example of this is, "So, I've been thinking about you."
Slanty face.
To be honest here, the slanty face is one of the sexiest emojis that
a woman can use when texting a guy.
I'll be honest, every time I see one of them from a girl that
I'm dating or in a relationship with, I get a little excited.
When you text him, "So, I've been thinking about you."
With a little slanty face, that's implying right that
you've been having some naughty thoughts about him.
His natural response is going to be, "Oh, yes?
What have you been thinking about?"
That's going to open the door for the sexting dialogue to begin
and for you to share what you've been thinking about, and then to
ask him how he feels about it, and then it just goes from there.
We're actually going to be doing a full breakdown of
all the best sexting emojis at the end of this video.
Be sure to hang with us till the end.
Another example of a cute sexting initiation text is,
"Hmm, I'm at work and so bored.
Can you think of any fun ways to wake me up?"
That one's a little bit more direct but it will definitely get the
ball rolling because it's going to get his creative juices flowing.
Once a guy's imagination gets engaged in sexting, that's
when things get really fun.
Another really fun way to initiate sexting is to bring up a really
hot memory that you two have shared together like, "I can't
stop thinking about that night on the dock out in Hanalei."
A trip down memory lane can really turn a guy on.
One more important tip around initiating sexting, if a man goes
to initiate sexting with you and you're really not in the space
or the mood to play, instead of outright rejecting him, do a
playful redirection of that energy.
If he texts you something flirty or sexy, just say, "Hey, this seems
like a really fun conversation.
Maybe we can pick it up later on tonight or maybe when I get home."
See?
Because that way, you're not just shutting him down, because
for men physical connection and sexting as a form of physical
connection is actually a form of emotional expression for many of us.
If you shut a guy down when he's trying to be vulnerable
like this, it might discourage him from doing it again.
I know you want to have that playful flirty deep passionate
connection with your guy.
Sexting secret number two is send him some of those dirty messages when you
know he's not in an appropriate place to have those kind of conversations.
That can be super hot.
It'll really spice up his daily routine and build sexual
tension between the two of you.
If he starts getting and sending messages at times when he really
should be focusing on other stuff.
For example, maybe he's at work and you know he's having a really
stressful day that day, sexting with him can be a naughty little
secret between the two of you and a great outlet for him and
all of his stressful energy.
Or if he's out with his buddies playing golf or just hanging
out, it might wreck his score but he's not going to mind.
If you really want to make him feel special, send him some
sexy messages while you're in an inappropriate place or situation.
Say, for example, you're out with your sister getting
your nails done and you text him some really dirty stuff.
Then you say that you have to hide your phone because you
don't want your sister or the nail stylist to see your text.
That's going to make him feel really important and
it's going to be a turn-on. I guarantee it.
Sexting secret number three, use sexting as a tool to
discover what he's into.
One of the fun parts about sexting is it allows you to find out a
lot of juicy stuff about your partner in a low investment way.
Meaning you don't have to come right out and ask him face to face or try
something on him in the bedroom.
You can just find out by twiddling your thumbs.
I want you to think of sexting in this capacity like fishing.
You're just going to start casting stuff out and
seeing if you get bites.
For example, with pet names, those cut sexy sometimes obnoxious names
the partners have for each other.
If you don't already have those set up, just throw some
out and see how he responds.
Call him Daddy while you're sexting with him and see how he likes it.
I'll give you a little preview here, ladies.
Some guys are going to love it and respond really well.
Other guys are just going to laugh it off and dismiss it.
If you don't try, you'll never know.
Or just call him Baby while you're sexting with him and
see how he responds to that.
If he calls you baby back or calls you some other cute name, then cool
you guys have found some common pet names to call each other.
If he doesn't use a pet name in return no matter
what you call him, maybe pet names just aren't his thing.
For a lot of guys, they're not, but they can create a
sweet commonality and intimacy between you and your partner.
It's worth a shot.
You can also learn a lot about your partner's kinks through sexting.
For example, ask if he'd like to tie you up and if that would turn
him on or if he'd like to be tied up and just see how he responds.
Or ask him what type of outfit or shoes he'd like you to wear the next
time he comes over to ravage you.
If he spends five minutes describing to you the type of
pumps that he wants you to wear with your outfit, he probably
has a foot or a shoe fetish.
Personally, this is my favorite pair of shoes, but I don't think
these are turning anyone on whether you got a shoe fetish or not.
The third sexting secret I want to share is that details equal desire.
Now, we all know that men are extremely visual but you
don't need to send a man a sexy picture to turn him on.
You can actually paint a super hot picture with your words of all
the things that you want to do, or that you're craving, or that
you're fantasizing about with him.
For example, if he's a little bit more aggressive sexually, you could
say, "I can't wait for you to push me up against the wall and just run
your hands at the back of my skirt.
I love it when you take control of me."
Combining those details of what you want to experience or what
you're fantasizing about and how it makes you feel is going to be super
activating and powerful for him.
Sexting secret number five is, take turns telling a story.
This is a great tip to use once you've got him engaged and turned
on because it turns sexting into this intimate dialogue that's
going to deepen your connection and really light them up.
A key point to remember here is that men are storytellers.
There are a few areas that are more fun for men to
tell stories than in sex.
This is a great opportunity for you to step into your role as the
conductor of communication in the relationship and initiate sexting
with him, and then ask him powerful questions that really help guide
him forward into a deeper more sexy connection with you, and then
reinforce what he's sharing with positive powerful feeling statements.
What would that look like?
You could start by asking, "What do you want to do
to me when we get home?"
He might respond, "I want to kiss your neck and run my
teeth along your skin as I slowly unbutton your blouse."
To which you could respond, "Mmm, that sounds really nice.
I might get so turned on that I could lose control of myself.
Would you like that?"
You started by asking him an open-ended action question which
then he responded by telling you what he wanted to do to you, and
then you reinforced his response by letting him know how much
you enjoyed it by giving him a powerful feeling statement and
then asking him a feeling question.
You're taking it deeper and deeper and things are going to
get really hot really quickly.
The sixth sexting secret-- Wow, say that three times fast is you want
to use audio and visual texting to really deepen the experience for
him, but you got to do it smart.
When it comes to audio, you can do any of the texts we've just
mentioned as voice mellows.
Can you see how powerful that would be?
It's been scientifically proven that a woman's voice actually can create
electrical impulses in a man's skin.
It literally lights him up to hear the voice of a
woman he's attracted to.
That's the effect you can have on him.
When it comes to pictures and video, I invite you to use them
as a tool to build tension.
Keep them suggestive and sexy when you're sexting, not
just full-out nude pictures.
Remember, as the conductor of the relationship you went to pace the
building of sexual tension between you, not get him so turned on that
he's in pain the rest of the day or he has to run off to the bathroom
at work and relieve himself.
What are some examples of suggestive sexy pictures?
Well, it could be as simple as picture of you gripping the
helm of your skirt while you're sitting in an office meeting or
chewing on the end of a pen cap.
It could be like a short video of you suggestively biting your bottom
lip in a way that really shows how turned on you're getting by him.
Maybe a little video of you squirming in your seat, just
letting him know how much you're looking forward to seeing him later.
Another great way to turn a guy on visually through sexting is
with picture messages and memes.
There are two main types.
There are the obvious direct hot memes or pictures.
Like for example, it could be a 50 Shades of Gray style bedpost with
a pair of handcuffs flung over the side, that'll turn a guy on.
It could be a cute and sexy meme like a koala hanging from a tree.
You could say, "I'm going to be hanging off you like this later."
The bottom line is when it comes to sending pictures and video and audio
to a guy while you're sexting with him, be creative, have fun with it
and let your authentic self shine through in the experience because
it's the real you that's turning him on and that's what he's craving.
The seventh sexting secret that I want to share with you today is the
proper way to use sexting emojis.
This is so important because emojis, if used properly, they're
like the spice of sexting.
They can really light things up or they can ruin the meal.
I'm going to walk you through some of these emojis and then
it's your job to combine them in really hot, playful ways
which should be pretty easy.
Ladies, the emojis to use when you're talking about yourself, if
you're getting really turned on, give him the kitty with the heart eyes.
If you're talking about your booty, give him the peach.
Men love the peach.
If you're really, really turned on, you can throw him the honeypot.
Ladies, when it comes to describing the part of the man
that you're craving the most while you're sexting with him,
you got two classic choices.
You got the hot dog and of course the eggplant.
When we're talking and about having an orgasm, you can't go wrong with
the sweat droplets or the expense emoji, both are great choices.
Also, if you want to talk about the fact that you're getting
wet, sweat droplets also worked really well for that.
There are so many great face emojis to use while sexting.
I'm just going to share a handful of my favorites.
Of course, we've already talked about the slanty sly face.
That is a great one.
You also can't go wrong with the horny purple smiley face.
That's a great one.
I wouldn't use the downward horny face, the angry horny face.
That's not so good.
Then you've got the winky face for the early stages of sexting when
you just want to let them know that you're having naughty thoughts,
or when you're really thinking about doing something wild, upgrade
it to the winky tongue out face.
Lastly, a personal favorite of mine, if you want a guy to really
feel like you're craving him, throw him the drooling hungry face.
Guys liked that one a lot.
There you go, ladies, seven sexting secrets that are going to help you
have incredibly hot dynamic dialogues with your partner no matter what
stage of relationship you may be at.
Number one was don't be afraid to initiate sexting.
Just be sure to do it in a playful inviting way and to take it slow.
You don't just want him to blow his load in the first five minutes.
Secret number two was to sext him when you know he's in a time or
a place that's not appropriate for sexting or when you're not in
a place where it's appropriate.
That extra element of naughtiness is really hot.
Secret number three was to use sexting as a tool to discover
what your partner is into.
This could be pet names. It could be kinks. It could be really anything.
Just treat sexting as a really powerful way to have vulnerable
conversations with your partner in a low investment environment.
Remember, don't kink shame him if he happens to be into
Boston terrier slippers.
Sexting secret number four is details equal desire.
Paint him a picture with your words of what you want and how
you're feeling about it and it's going to really turn them on.
Sexting secret number five is to take turns telling a story,
initiate, and then ask him questions.
Get him going back and forth with you, reinforce his responses and
ask more questions, and you're going to have a deep, sexy dialogue.
Sexting secret number six was to use audio and visual messages to
take that connection even deeper.
Send him voice memos instead of just sending him texts.
He loves to hear the sound of your voice and it will light him up.
When you're sending him pictures in video, instead of just going
the full monty and sending him nudes, send him suggestive pictures
and videos that really ignite his imagination and turn him on and build
that sexual tension for when y'all are going to see each other next.
Lastly, of course, tip number seven, use those sexting emojis.
Bust out that honeypot that eggplant, the drooly face, all of them.
Have fun with it.
Sexting like all aspects of your relationship can be fun.
It should be fun.
Allow it to be fun and make it a playful dynamic with him.
lt's going to make it so much better for both of you.
My final thought on sexting ladies is that the point of all of this
is to learn your partner's sexting style and mirror it back to him.
This is about you building that commonality and connection with him.
Get out there ladies and have a blast sexting with your guy.
Before you do, take a second, hit that little subscribe button, and
don't forget to click that little notification bell that says all,
so you get notified every time I upload new videos and content.
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Be sure to click the link in the comments and caption.
I've uploaded some great content that's going to make a huge
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Last but not least, comment on this video, let's have fun.
Let's have a conversation around favorite sexting strategies.
I've got plenty to say and I'm sure you do too.
All right.
I'll see you in the comments and I'll see you in my next video.
Bye-bye.
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