Ugh! I cannot stand that person!
Your career success journey is inevitably going to include.
Working with someone you don't like. Sometimes we have to work
with people who aren't exactly our cup of tea.
Dealing with difficult people at work is something that
many people have to face. And at the extreme,
you may even have to work with people you hate.
While you don't need to make friends at work, you do need
to get along with your coworkers. If you want to succeed,
having a positive and productive relationship with everyone you
interact with is crucial. And do you want to succeed at work right?
In this video, I'm going to walk you through how to work with
people you don't like at work so that you can thrive.
And I know this is going to get me a lot of thumbs down,
but if you are here to have your hatred validated,
you can exit this video right now. Because what I'm about to share is not fluff.
I'm quite honestly, this is going to require a tough look at yourself.
This is only for people who are committed to building exceptional personal
brands at work and are ready to skyrocket their careers.
If that sounds like you, give this video a thumbs up and let's jump into it.
Let's begin with the basics. Why don't you like your coworker?
Awareness is really important in order for you to move into the next steps.
And when you really think about it, the reason why you don't like
your coworker typically boils down into one of three buckets.
First, your coworker has wronged you in some way. They were offensive, rude,
they've gossiped about you behind your back,
or maybe they're a difficult coworker. No matter what they did,
they have given you a reason not to like them.
The second reason why you might not like your coworker is
they're triggering something in you. Sometimes this is mirroring
where they have a trait that you dislike about yourself and
you just start projecting all over the place. Or one of their core values
is indirect opposition to one of your core values. For example,
if kindness is really important to you, but your coworker,
Chad is constantly belittling and ridiculing your coworkers.
That would be the reason why you don't like him.
This can also stem from jealousy.
Maybe your coworker has qualities that you really want to have,
or they're on an accelerated career success path that you really want to be on.
Don't worry, subscribe and we're going to get you there too.
On the third reason why you might not like your coworker is there is no reason.
Just like how you meet some people and you immediately click
and you become like lifelong best friends. Some people you meet
and you just don't like, I guess what,
there's going to be people who don't like you,
it's shocking because you're so awesome. But what are you going to do about it?
I need to be super duper clear about one thing before we move on.
If the wrong that your coworker did involved abuse, discrimination,
harassment, any of that really illegal stuff, you need to proceed
with formal channels. Because you should not have to work with people like that.
Now, you know the reason why you don't like your coworker,
you need to put it context.
Did you notice that two of those three reasons actually didn't really
have anything to do with the other person. They were really about you
knowing the reason behind why you don't like someone helps to remove
the feeling from them because now you know where it's really coming from.
And the next few steps that I'm going to bring you through are going to
help you transform your energy towards that coworker.
But what about when you don't like someone for a valid reason,
let's say that you don't like Chad, because to be honest,
he is an obnoxious person and you would never associate with him.
If you didn't happen to work with him, you have two choices,
let it go or speak to him about it. And I'm going to come back
to that one at the end of the video.
But I want you to notice how neither of those options included dwelling on it.
Or letting them drive you up the wall. Instead,
we are going to take that context
and we are going to move into our next step of how to work with
people you don't like.
And we're going to remember that coworkers are not friends.
You don't have to like everyone you work with. They don't have to like you,
you just need to be able to work together productively.
I know a lot of companies have adopted this culture and this vibe
of saying we're like a family. No, you're not family.
In fact, I think that whole thing is,
it's just really gaslighting you for the fact
that you have to work way too many hours every week,
but that's probably a wrap for another day. You don't have to love or even
like your colleagues, but I said it earlier and I'm going to say it again.
And I'm probably going to repeat it on this channel until I'm blue in the face.
Because it is so important. The thing that you do need to have with
your coworkers is a positive and productive relationship.
For example, you may cringe, but then let go.
The fact that Chad just dropped in yet
another of noxious comment into your team Slack channel,
but you can still work famously with Chad. You can complete projects,
create incredible products and close deals together because at the end of the
day, here's the truth. You do not get paid,
promoted or praised for working with your friends.
You get paid,
promoted and praised for the impact you make and the
relationship quality that you establish. And as we just explored,
you do not need to like the person in order to establish a good
quality relationship at work. Because when you have that, it does not matter
if you're collaborating with your best friend or your worst nemesis,
the impact that you make is going to be what matters your personal
feelings about the person aren't relevant.
But that isn't to say that you shouldn't make an effort to try to.
Change your energy and opinion towards them because let's face it.
It does make life easier and much more pleasant.
And that is exactly what brings us into our next step in how to deal with
coworkers We don't like, and that is find a reason to like them.
I want you to set one goal here.
Your goal is to one thing you respect
or admire about the person you don't like at work. For example,
sometimes the most awful colleagues are fantastic people outside of work.
I find this to be especially true when it comes to competitive coworkers
and jealous coworkers, while you don't need to become best friends,
getting to know them in a different non-work setting capacity can
change your understanding and your perception of them and non-isolation times.
This can be as simple as asking someone to just go for a walk and get a cup of
coffee.
If you're working remotely, what you can do is you can treat them like.
How you treat your friends at work, send them a Slack message to just see how
their day is going. In addition to you getting to know them better and creating
that pathway to a more positive and productive working relationship.
It's also an opportunity for them to do the same for you while it's
possible that your Chad's favorite colleague,
despite the fact that you hate his guts. That's not typically how it works.
Often, when I see someone trying to figure out how to work with someone,
they don't like the feeling is completely mutual.
And often you're simultaneously trying to figure out how to work with
someone who doesn't like you. This step, probably isn't going to make
them into your office. Bestie, who knows it might, but it has a better chance
than not of improving your working relationship with your colleague that you
don't like.
And even if it doesn't work, it doesn't hurt to try no matter what I want you.
To make sure that you don't make one of the biggest mistakes people make
when they're working with someone, they don't like they make the mistake
of talking about their coworker, that they don't like, which leads us directly
into our next step, which is to keep it to yourself. Treat the fact that you
don't like a coworker like the top secret classified information that
it is. There's a few reasons for this first, your opinion about somebody else
is not anyone's business. Seriously. No good is going to come from
you talking to other people that you work with about the fact that
you cannot stand chad. At best you're feeding llama drama,
and damaging your own personal brand at work. At worst
You're the one creating a toxic work environment, either way.
You're not helping yourself or your career. And I know this can be hard.
Especially when the coworker that you don't like does something
to strike your last nerve and venting about them can feel so
good. It's like itching,a mosquito bite. It feels good at the moment,
but in the long run, you're causing way more damage and maybe even
scarring and scabbing. Not cute. That's said,
I'm going to give you one exception.
If you have an office bestie who has proven to be a vault,
you can talk to them about the challenges that you're having,
but you need to make that conversation focused on solving the problem
that you're having. Not dwelling on it like it's a breezy beach
on a hot summer day. Often you're inclined to do this in reaction to
something that the coworker you don't like dead. When that happens,
we need to focus on the next step, which is not reacting,
at least not publicly.
And particularly when you're not in control of your reaction when.
You're dealing with difficult people at work. And especially when you're
dealing with a toxic coworker,
they might try to trigger a reaction from you and reacting,
encourages their behavior by giving them what they want
your reaction do not give them that satisfaction. If you do have any
strategies that you use to not react to a coworker you don't like,
jot them in the comments down below. You never know some of may
read it and be really helped by it. Luckily in most cases,
you're not going to be dealing with a toxic coworker,
but rather you're going to be dealing with a jealous coworker,
a competitive coworker,
or simply a coworker who bothers you in that case.
This step is particularly productive for working with people you don't like.
And this is, to talk to them about it.
You're two grown professionals. You can do this!
Addressing your concerns in a respectful and professional way can
help them see problematic behavior that was holding them back in their
career.
I know a lot of people avoid any potential conflict in the workplace,
but it doesn't have to be emotionally charged and it doesn't have to be
stressful.
It can be the thing that strengthens your relationship with your coworker.
You don't like. In fact,
I want you to subscribe to my channel because my next video I
s going to be about conflict management in the workplace so that you can learn
how to quickly diffuse and resolve conflict that you have at work.
No matter what I want you to remember that we all do things that annoy
and anger other people, but we're not always aware of them.
Sometimes the best thing we can do is to have an empathetic
conversation with someone, with the intention of helping them become the
better version of themselves. And Hey, it may help you become a better
version of yourself in the process.
If you are dealing with a difficult coworker,
I want you to go and watch this video next for some more specialized strategies.
If this video was helpful, make sure I give it some thumbs up love.
It really does help my channel. And if you haven't already consider subscribing
for the best career success advice on planet, internet as always.
Thank you so much for watching. I'm so glad to have had you here for this chat.
I'll see you in the next video. Bye for now.