You know that friend or that family member that you can tell is just having
one of those days or weeks or months? You know, instead of allowing them to be in
that low self-esteem area, I've got something for you here that's going to make
a really big difference. And it could also help make a difference for you too.
There's a really good chance you have somebody in your life who, you know, just
has some low self-esteem. You know, and you try. You try every day to try to
boost them. You know, try to help them. And this could be somebody in your family.
You know, it's got this low self-esteem. And low self-esteem means they're pretty
much bummed out every day. They don't know what to do. They just... They're slow
and they're slow and getting up. They're slow and taking action in life. And
really they just... You can tell that they're just really apprehensive about
what they're doing. So. this this family or this friend that you have that has
this low self-esteem, I bet you've reached a point where you just don't
know what to do. You've tried talking to them. You've tried complimenting them.
You've tried suggesting books, you've tried suggesting classes. You pretty
much have given up. And you don't know what to do. I want you to know you're
totally normal with this. Totally normal with this. Because there's a lot of
family members who don't know how to take care of a family member who's like
this. And then when your friends like this. It's like, "Wow, you just hope they
get through the phase sooner or later?" What if I could help you with something
that an action step and idea here that is a guaranteed win? Oh! This is such a
good one. I got one for you here that I know is a guaranteed win. Because I am a
mentor. And I mentor people and I coach people. And what happens is along the way,
sooner or later somebody has a bummer of a day or a bummer of a week or a month.
And what happens is they don't know what to do
to get out of that. And over my 15 years of mentoring people, part of my job is to
be able to help unlock that value again inside of a person. Unlock it so they can
like find themselves. Right? It be able to find themselves and help them get back
up to that value that self-esteem that is naturally where they really could be.
Okay, so what do you do right? How do you do this? Well, I'm going to let you
in on a secret here of how I help people/ The part that you want to get into in
helping someone is literally to open their mind using music. I know it sounds
crazy. And it's like, "Well, music is fun to listen to." You know... and music is
entertaining. And most people think music is an entertainment. But actually music
moves the mind. It moves it. Music can take you down, music can take
you up. Music can cause you to feel intense,
music can cause you to feel all lovey and cozy with someone. Music causes us to
remember experiences in our past. And music can actually help us believe in a
future. It's just incredible what music can do. But let's take your mind out of
the zone of thinking that it's only for entertainment. Let's start to think that
music mends people. Literally helps put them back together. But you got to use
music in a very thoughtful way. A very thoughtful way and very intentional. Now,
let's imagine that somebody, somebody's self-esteem has dropped down to this
level. right? They're down here at this level. The mistake I noticed that what
people do is if they decide to try to use music to help move someone or change
their life, they try to pick really happy music but the person is clear down here.
Well, you know how it is. If you're way down here and somebody's really super
happy around you, they just irritate you, right?
They totally irritate you. Happy people compared to somebody who's down here low
are so irritating. It's like you want to just chuck them out of the house. It's
like get rid of them. It's like, "Oh, my goodness." You want to stand up and like
walk away from that happy person. Same thing happens with music. If we use
music that is too high, it irritates a person. Now, I know this personally. I
absolutely know this personally. I've had some rough goes at it. You know,
in my life I've had some rough time some rough go. And what happened in those
tough times. I went searching for music because I know how this works, right? I
know how this works been doing this for years.
But now I'm having a tough time. Well, I start to search for music that can
actually agree with where I'm at. Notice what I'm giving you.
We don't use music. Let's clear up here. Thinking we're going to just drag
somebody's soul to happiness. No. First, before a person will ever
change their attitude, they want to feel understood. Once they feel like they're
understood, now they listen. Now, they... Now they know that somebody else cares. So,
when I went looking for some music to help me because I was stuck. My
self-esteem was down. And I went looking for music. I actually found music that
actually spoke my language. And I found some angry songs. It sounds crazy but
angry songs are so good for us. Not to make us more angry but the proper angry
song. Or the upset song or the distressed song. But their songs all up and down the
scale. But I find this song that actually spoke to me. And as I'm listening to this
song and I'm listening to the lyrics, it's like, "Wait a minute. This song... Like
this is me. Like, this is this is exactly how I feel. That's what I want to say.
This is what I'm thinking. Oh, this song understands me." And I'm not kidding. When
you, when you find a song that you can relate to, somehow it just unlocks you
from feeling like you're the only one in the world who's having this problem. Oh,
this song understands you. Then what you do the second song you find is a song
slightly above it. Not too far. That's irritating. We don't like irritating
happy people. We just need to bump it up just a little
bit, that bit. This is where friends make mistakes with friends by sharing super
happy songs with their friends who are down and then they wonder why their
friend doesn't change. There's a low self-esteem moments that
are going on. You would we got to help him take steps. Just these little steps.
So, notice. One song. two, three, four, five. By the time we get to here, this
could be about 10 songs. It's a playlist. Okay, it's a playlist. So, when you go to
help somebody has low self-esteem. You first are helping them, you're
finding some songs for them that maybe they could relate to. Okay, this is so
smart. This is so... I can't believe I'm sharing this with you because this is
one of my little secrets about helping people when I'm coaching and mentoring
them. You helped find some songs that they could actually relate to. And you
share the song with your family member, your friend. And you ask them, "Is this
how you feel?" And you'll notice that they'll be like, "Yeah, mom. Mom, this is
that's how I feel." And now because this child or this friend or the spouse
recognizes that you're actually trying to understand where they're at, they then
are open to listening to a song that's just right above it. And then because
they bump up to that next song, then they're okay to take the next little
step. Because once a person feels understood they now have the desire to
do something different. It's crazy but people miss this piece. First, we help
them know that they can be understood. And you find a song. And then you find
the next song in the next song and the next song. And you bump them up. So, what
this looks like is... I know 10 songs is a lot to try to figure out. But let's look
at 5. If you could find 1 song that could help connect with them. And that
means you're listening to songs where people have had bad days and bad things
happen to them and tough things. And... And you share the songs with your friend and
you and they go, "Hey, is this how you feel?" And they were like, "Wow, that
really matches." Well hey, you know, what I actually found another song too. In fact,
I made you a playlist. I made you playlist of music because I care about
where you're at. And maybe...Mmaybe listen to this playlist.
I checked the lyrics. Be sure you check the lyrics and there's no
I go weird stuff going on in the lyrics. And that they're good songs. And then
this playlist builds. You know, from the first song to the second to the third to
the forest to the fifth. Don't go too high too fast. You know, you could even
find 2 songs that relate to them and then 2 songs just a step above them.
But you're using music to match where they're at so they can feel understood.
And then the next song in the playlist or the next you know maybe 2 or 3
songs in the place just helps take them up to one more small level. You see we
imagine that we're reaching down to be able to help lift a person up out of a
pit. They're down in a pit. You know, they're just way down there. You don't
just... You know, reach down there and grab them by the hair and yank them out of
the pit. There's no work. They fall right back down in. If you could use music and
remember to find the first 1 or 2 songs to match where they're at and then
ever so gently, the next song and the playlist gets a little bit better, a
little bit better and a little bit better, you through a playlist of music
can move somebody out of low self-esteem. And literally... I'm not kidding. Within 1
day. Within 1 day of listening to that lyrics, that playlist, a person can change.
They can turn themselves from heading in the downward to be able to at least turn
them so they're moving upward. Now, I'm not saying they're going to be like clear
at the top of the of the scale within one playlist in one day. But what you and
I both understand this. Just seeing that there's some improvement is really cool.
Right? And you're using a music playlist. And you're checking the
lyrics out and you're stacking the songs imagining that you're walking them up
out of the pit one step at a time, one step at a time. And you're doing this
intentionally. And you're reviewing the lyrics to make sure it's not too fast,
not too soon. And then it's like you're dedicating this music list to them.
I think it's smart. I mean, you imagine that, you know, if there was you
know there's a boyfriend/girlfriend and and the boyfriend goes to the to the
piano player or the DJ at the dance or the whatever you're at. And then all
sudden it's announced that he's dedicating a song to his sweetie pie. You know how
they do that like dedicate a song? Awesome. The person just feels like
they're super special because it was dedicated to them. Same thing happens
with music. When we build a playlist and intentionally you're helping a person
with this and we let him know that we're dedicating this to them. And we
thought of them we organized it we put it together. We really search the lyrics
out and and the small steps, it is golden. It is so golden. And you listen to the
playlist first. And notice what it does to you as you go from one song to the
next. Now, if you can find 10 songs, you know, and stack ten songs together, that is
the best because 10 songs times 3 minutes is a good half an hour of music.
And with a half an hour of music, you can change the direction a person is heading.
You can change the direction. And that you can do. So, if this is your daughter
or your son that you're thinking about. Or your friend or your spouse. Instead of
just sitting there thinking you can't do anything, use music. It's here to help us.
And there's so many songs to pick from. You now get what I'm talking about. And
if you happen to be the one who is the one who's experiencing low self-esteem,
go build your playlist. I have my playlist. If there's no way I'm going to go
through life without my playlist that's going to build me. And if so when I have
a bummer day, I know I go to my playlist and I just rebuild Kirk Duncan with my
playlist. Music moves the people. Get your playlist built. Now, if this has been
helpful to you, if this has been helpful and opened your
mind to a whole new level of thinking here, well, I
got a lot more to share with you. I really do. And I care about where you're
at in your life and what you're doing. So, what you want to do is subscribe to this
channel so you don't miss what I'm sending out to you. I know the current
problems that people are facing. And just like what you just learned. You now, just
learned exactly what to do to help somebody you know right now or if you
meet someone you know in a couple weeks or a couple months, you now know what to
do. I will train you on how to be prepared.
So, subscribe. Be sure you subscribe here. And if you're ever interested to come
and sit in one of my training my live trainings. Some of my online training
courses, go check out our website. We'd love to see you or hear from you and
your success that you're happy that you're having. But definitely subscribe
this channel. And share it with a friend, right? When you find something good, share
it with a friend. Pass the message along. This is a great
place to get great training. So, go build your playlist. No, reason to stay right
where you're at. Music moves the people.
you