[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's nice to meet you.
We have not met, right?
We have not.
I mean, we actually had an encounter once.
I don't know if you remember.
No, I don't.
My--
Tell me about it.
I went to UCLA, and it was my first year down there,
and my parents were moving me into the dorms.
And we wanted to go somewhere Beverly Hills-ish,
so we went to a cafe, and we had parked,
and we were walking down the street, me and my mom.
And we walked by a newsstand, and you were about as close
as we are now.
And my mom goes, oh, my god, it's Ellen.
And I was like--
I pulled her aside immediately, and I was like, mom,
you can't say that.
She's like, please, please, just let me
go ask Ellen for an autograph.
It's my favorite show.
I love her so much.
I was like, mom, I want to be a real actress.
You can't do that to other actors.
And she was like, well, we'll know you make it someday
when you're on Ellen, and now I'm here, so it's so exciting.
And your mom's here?
She's here.
She's in the audience.
Where's your mom?
She's over there.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi.
Hi, mom.
I would have-- you could have-- maybe I remember that now.
Maybe--
She's horrified I just told this story.
Well, I'm so happy to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
And your daughter has made it.
But even before she was here, I mean, the show is a hit, right?
Thank you.
Yes, it's so exciting.
Yeah, it's doing very, very well.
Yes.
[APPLAUSE]
What kind of neighbors--
I actually don't get out that much.
I'm usually in my office or here rehearsing.
But you're like--
Right up the road.
Yeah, it's crazy being on this lot.
I sometimes just walk outside and run my lines just
to see who I can run into.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And who have you run into?
The other day I was walking by the Shameless set,
and there's like a really small alleyway,
and I really was running my lines.
And I heard a ukulele coming from somewhere,
and I turn around, and it was just me and William H. Macy,
and he was playing his ukulele.
And I was like, oh, my God, is this
going to be awkward when I walk by?
What's he going to say?
He just kept singing.
He was serenading me with his ukulele.
Wow.
That was pretty cool.
That's very cool.
I need to walk around more.
I didn't know--
I don't know what's going on here.
And you've been acting a long time, right?
I have.
I have wanted to do it since I was three or four years old.
I watched The Sound of Music over and over again
and reenacted it in my parent's living room,
and I think they were like, something's
wrong with this one.
We've got to put her in theater school or something.
And they took me to a summer camp.
I think the first thing-- it was a Romeo and Juliet kids
version.
I played Romeo's mom.
And I couldn't read, so my mom had to tell me the lines.
The only thing I really remember is Romeo peeing his pants.
It was such a big deal.
We were on stage, and it was like Romeo just peed his pants,
and we're five years old.
What are we going to do?
And I think I just kept going.
That's what you do.
Yeah.
When Romeo pees.
Yeah, that happens on stage.
I want to talk about this little dog
that you tweeted out a picture of.
It's the cutest dog I've ever seen in my life.
I mean, Yorkies-- it's a Yorkie, right?
It's a Yorkie.
All right, let's--
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
How old is this little thing?
That's Betty.
She's only five months old.
She's the love of my life.
Betty?
Betty.
That's my mama's name.
Betty.
Oh, that's so cute.
So she's five months old now.
How long have you had her?
I've had her since she was about three and 1/2 months.
So just brand new?
It's brand new, but I've always loved dogs.
We've had dogs growing.
Do you bring her to the set every day with you?
I do bring her to the set.
I have all of her toys and stuff in my dressing room,
and security knows.
Now, they wave at Betty when I come
through the gate and stuff.
They're not really easily housebroken,
those little tiny dogs.
Is she housebroken?
Um--
No.
No, not quite.
I mean, she has a little puppy pad she goes on,
but we're still getting there.
But she's so cute.
You forgive everything.
Yeah.
Well, and you tweeted out also you
have a problem with high-end sweatpants.
What is this?
Well, I just-- I love sweatpants.
That's like the Beth.
If I could wear sweatpants every day, I would.
But I just-- anything over $30 to me is high-end.
And I was looking online and all these different--
trying to get some new sweatpants.
And I was like, these high-end sweatpants, wow, they're
so expensive.
And everyone was tweeting like high-end sweatpants?
What does that mean back at me, and I was like, well, over $30.
That's what I meant.
That's high-end for sweatpants, right?
Yeah.
OK.
No?
Well, yes.
I guess it is.
It just depends.
I mean, someone who is working on a hit television show,
I don't think over $30 should break you.
You're not really a broke girl.
It's just the name of the show.
But I was.
I understand, and it's good to have that mentality.
That mentality, yeah.
That's good.
So we got you these because you love sweatpants,
and you're not going to spend the money yourself.
So we took our sweatpants from here, and we gave you these.
[APPLAUSE]
These are high-end.
They are high-end.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my god--
They say high-end sweatpants.
High-end sweatpants.
[LAUGHING]
It's amazing.
I got something for your mom.
Aww.
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING]
Aww, that is so sweet.
Thank you, Ellen.
Oh, my god.
That's so nice.
You're welcome.
[APPLAUSE]
Quite an entrance.
Guys--
Yep, quite an entrance.
How was my dance, maybe?
Maybe?
On the show.
I'm so sad.
Yeah, that was--
I tried some new moves.
I had a prop.
Yeah, it was-- they were new moves.
They were brand new, and there was a lot of moves in there.
Thank you so much for that entrance.
I enjoyed it.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
I missed you.
Well, I missed you.
I haven't seen you in a long time.
I know.
And Christmas must have been a very special time for you
because it's Christmas and then the day after is your birthday.
Right.
Jesus steals all my thunder.
Oh, no.
That is hard.
That is tough.
Yeah.
What did you want for your birthday or Christmas?
What'd you get?
Well, all I really want, but my husband won't buy it for me,
is a cowbell because I feel like it's that perfect party
trick, right?
If we're having wine and a nice charcuterie cheese board
or something, and then that conversation's kind of lame,
but if you pull out a cowbell and start playing,
everyone's going to laugh, like, where did she get that cowbell?
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Also, I can't play anything else.
Yeah.
I have so many amazing musician friends,
but I know I can go bump, bump, bump, you know?
Yeah.
I like the cowbell.
Do you?
Yeah, I really do like a cowbell.
But why won't he buy that for you?
Because it seems like an inexpensive and simple thing.
It's not like--
Because he lives with me.
Yeah, but it's not drums.
It's just a cowbell.
It is just-- yeah, I don't know.
He just said no.
He likes silence, and I don't give him a lot of that at home.
I see.
He said all he wanted for Christmas was for me to stop
talking, and that's not a joke.
He said that last night.
Oh, wow.
And I was like, that's not romantic.
No, no, it's the opposite.
Yeah.
But y'all bake together, right?
Well, I do a lot of the baking.
Are you a good baker?
It tastes amazing.
It looks terrible.
It's cute, right?
I love baking because it's very zen.
I put on a good album with some cowbell, maybe.
No, and it tastes delicious, but it looks terrible.
We just made gingerbread cookies the other night,
my first attempt, tasted terrible.
I DM-- I have this list of celebrity bakers that I DM.
Blake Lively is my go-to when something goes wrong,
and I just ask her why it didn't taste good,
and she always has an answer.
Well--
She's like the best baker.
Well, then, why didn't-- what was the answer that yours
didn't taste good?
Well, there are some secret ingredients.
I don't know if she would want me to share.
Oh, OK.
Well, let's not do that.
Like a certain kind of butter you
can use, a dash of a secret thing that gives it a kick.
I see.
But it was delicious.
But now you remade them, and they were delicious?
They were delicious.
It just doesn't look good.
I see.
We tried.
We did Succession-inspired gingerbread men.
Well, I did.
I was like, I'm very into Kendall Roy,
the whole Succession thing.
Yeah.
Everyone's like, who?
But I-- yeah, and my husband did it with me.
But he's 12 years old, and so his men
are not appropriate to show on daytime television.
Oh.
But at least he's baking with you, though.
With me.
That's a cute thing to do together as a couple.
Right, and can you imagine how much I talk when we're baking?
I mean, it's just-- or singing.
Yeah.
I had on West Side Story the other night, just singing.
He was like, you're a lot.
Yeah.
Well, he didn't know that before he married you?
I guess not.
Wow, surprise.
It's only been 12 years, honey.
Hey, I'm really impressed with this.
You're doing a cold plunge every day.
Is it every day?
Not every day.
I wish.
I don't live as close to the ocean as I would like,
but yeah, I've been pretty open about having really bad panic
attacks and anxiety, and those got super, super bad
during the pandemic, and none of my bag of tricks
were working, really.
And so, it was like 40 degrees in the morning at 6:00 AM,
and I just drove to the beach, and nobody was there,
and I started cold plunging in the winter,
and it changed my life.
No joke.
There's actually a video.
I don't know if you guys have it.
But one time, recently, I went--
I posted this on Instagram.
And I didn't have my phone with me in the ocean
when it happened, but a pool of dolphins came and swam with me,
and I was like tearing up.
It was magical.
But then I ran to get my phone, and then by the time
I got back in the water with my phone--
I just did the most incredible cold plunge,
and there were dolphins all around me.
I was happy.
It was amazing.
Oh, it made it so much easier.
And then I got by a wave.
I'm freezing but wonderful.
That's amazing.
Yeah for dolphins.
Yeah.
--on the neighborhood.
He loves my Instagram because he thinks
it's the funniest Instagram, but I'm not trying to be funny.
But he saw that, and he was like, that is the whitest video
I've ever seen.
He's like, who goes in the freezing cold
before work at 6:00 AM and is like dolphins and--
he's just-- he thinks I'm hilarious.
But seriously, cold plunge, it is supposed to be--
because we had Wim Hof on--
Oh, big fan.
Yeah, and--
That's where I heard about it.
Yeah, that's what he suggested.
It cures all kinds of diseases.
And so, what I do is just cold showers, ice cold showers
because that'll do it.
And then so you can adjust.
And as long as you can take it, just like really cold showers.
That's great, but I mean, there's no dolphins.
No, there's no dolphins, but I'm not
going to drive to the ocean.
Plus, I don't want to get in the ocean.
I think that's even.
I don't know if--
I like the smell when I drive home, and I feel like a surfer.
Cool.
Because the only people there that early are the surfers,
and they're like, wow.
They would always be like, you cold plunge,
and I felt I got points.
Yeah, well, you do.
You get more points than me being in the shower.
This is your 20th time here, and we have had a lot of fun,
and I just love having you here all the time.
I just wanted to acknowledge that.
Thank you.
I'm so happy.
I can't believe this is my 20th time.
Also, your crew, everybody.
Andy, Mary, thank you so much.
You guys have become a part of my family.
You had my mom on the very beginning.
I really feel-- first of all, more people
recognize me from the Ellen Show than from 2 Broke Girls
in the neighborhood.
I have people that come up to me on the street,
and I just can't thank everyone here enough for-- and Ellen--
Thanks.
--for being amazing.
And I wanted to give you something
as a gift to say goodbye.
So as some of you know, I twerk a lot on live television.
Did it at the Emmys this year.
I've done it multiple times here.
And I'm going to retire from twerking on live television
as your gift.
Oh, OK.
Well, there you are, upside-down twerking.
I remember that.
That was one of my first times twerking here.
Oh, yeah, maybe-- oh, there's another one.
Yep.
Yep, there we go.
Yep.
Well, it was my last dance, and it's my last twerk.
My husband's so happy about this, too.
He's so happy I'm retiring.
Well, thank you for that.
Thank you for bringing us your twerk.
OK.
One last time?
All right.
We'll be back.
[APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]