[Gavin] Uh what are we doing?
[Griffon] We're looking for a slut paddle
A slut - My daughter's here. A slut paddle
[Gavin] And what are we gonna do with it?
Geoff has a really bad sunburn. Um, mostly on his forehead.
Um okay, so we're gonna-trying to find a slut paddle which has 'slut' written on it in reverse, which Meg saw in L.A
We're gonna see if we can find it local in Austin
So I'm calling the sex shops. Oop.
I called them while we were having this conversation. [Gavin laughs]
I just hung up on them cause I was scared. [Gavin squealing with laughter]
I have to call the other location. They have more than one location.
[Griffon and Gavin laughing]
Hey show 'em your forehead.
[Griffon: Come over here]
[Gavin: Alright. How did you get this tremendous sunburn?]
I was- I was in the sun at the X Games. I put on sunscreen.
[Gavin: Oh you did?] Yeah. Twice.
Wait, so I'm looking for, um, a paddle.
That says slut on it. In reverse.
Do you have any kind of paddle that has anything written on it? [laughs]
Like a what on it?
Lips! Lips. That may not be bad. [Gavin: That would work]
How long are you open today?
Okay, cool. Thanks.
Alright. Bye.
So, lips. That would probably fit on your forehead better anyway.
[Geoff sighs]
It's way way softer than I thought it was going to be. You're in luck, it's like soft leather. [Geoff groans]
[Geoff still groaning] It's like, it has a little flex to it. You're okay. [Paddle smacks]
Oh that actually stings a little bit.
[Gavin: Let's have a look at the paddle.]
[Griffon: You see how red he is. Oh it's shiny and red.] [Gavin: and this is red.]
[Gavin: That looks so good.]
[Gavin to Griffon: Have you used it on yourself?]
Uh, yeah. He did it to my leg earlier. I don't know if you can see it anymore.
There was some lip prints. Wanna try it?
[Gavin: What whack you in the leg? [to Geoff] You do it.]
[Loud paddle smack]
[Griffon: Ow!]
[Geoff: Was that too hard?]
[Griffon: Alright, you should hit him really hard. Hit him fucking hard.]
[Geoff: I think it just makes a loud noise.]
[Griffon: No there's some. See?] [Gavin laughs]
[Gavin laughing: There's totally lips.]
[Gavin: That's great.]
[Meg: Oh that's really good.] [Gavin: That's really good.]
[Griffon: Alright] [Gavin: Maybe you should sit on the bench.]
We want it right there. Alright?
[Griffon: Right in the forehead middle.]
[Geoff: Motherfucker...] [Griffon: That's gonna break his nose if I hit him too hard right there.]
[Geoff: Don't hit my nose.]
Should it be on the side?
[Geoff: You motherfuckers.] [Gavin: Yeah that's great]
Alright. How hard should I hit him?
You hit me pretty hard.
[Geoff: You motherfuckers.]
[Gavin: You doing it now?]
[Gavin: You wanna count it in?]
[Meg: Do it!]
[Gavin: Any last words before?] I'm afraid I'm not gonna hit him hard enough. Maybe you should do it.
[Geoff: You motherfuckers.]
[Griffon: Alright. 1... First of all, you had this coming.]
[Griffon: Second of all. 2... I'm gonna just get to three.]
[Geoff: Jesus christ c'mon!] On three.
God dammit... [Griffon: 1...]
[... 2. 3!] [Loud paddle smack]
[Meg giggling]
[slow motion paddle smack]
[Griffon laughing] I'm sorry.
I don't think I hit you hard enough though.
I don't think it's enough. [Geoff groaning in pain]
[Gavin squealing with laughter] [Griffon: We're gonna have to do it again.]
[Gavin and Griffon laughing at Geoff]
You almost knocked me out. [Gavin laughing]
[Griffon: There's no mark.]
[Gavin: There's a mark. It's just not the shape of a lips]
[Griffon: What if I hit you again, but you sit still so we can actually see the mark. This side]
No!
[Gavin laughing]
We have to see the lips.
It feels like being punched in the face!
[Griffon: 1... 2... ]
[Paddle smack]
[3]
[Slow motion paddle smack]
[Geoff groaning]
[Gavin laughing: There's nothing.] [Meg laughing: There's nothing.]
[Geoff groaning: Oh there's something alright!]
[Geoff screaming]
[Griffon: Sorry.]
[Gavin: Wait let's analyze it indoors.]
[Griffon: Are you okay?]
[Geoff sadly: Yeah.]
Should we try it again inside?
No [Gavin: No, no, no.]
[Griffon laughing] [Gavin: Oh there might...]
[Griffon: Poor baby] [Gavin: No it's just really red, the whole thing.] [Griffon: Yeah.]
It was already really red!
I wonder if I hit him with the metal part accidentally. [Meg: Wait, no there's totally lips. Is this lips? No?]
[Meg: I felt like there were lips here-ish]
[Geoff: You fucking assholes.]
[Meg: My lips are still there.] [Griffon: Oh shit look at that.] [Gavin laughing]
[Gavin: We made a mistake! Like, his was already red. Why did we do it on him?]
[Griffon: Yeah] [Meg in background: Wooow]
[Gavin: Yeah you basically had, like, why we shouldn't do it to you all over your face.]
Oh, glad we figured that out now! [Gavin laughing]
[Meg: Griffon's leg! Griffon how much does your leg hurt?]
[Geoff: You knocked the fuck out of me.] It fine. It stung pretty bad at first.
[Geoff: Can I hit you in the face?]
[Gavin: No no!] Because you're not red!
It'll totally work if I do it to you.
You know it's funny because I was scared about doing this cause I didn't want to be the one hitting you
But now I just wanna do it over and over [laughs]
[Meg: I told you it's fun]
I'm telling you, if we hit Gavin in the face we'll see it. [Griffon still laughing]
[Meg: Oh yeah! You should hit Gavin in the face I think.]
[Gavin: It's a shame the video is already the perfect length.] [Meg: No, I think this is the end.]
[Griffon: No I think it would make a good video.]
[Gavin: Do you wanna review the slow mo?]
[Meg: No let's] [Gavin: Oh Whoa! No!] [Meg: I think this is definitely a forehead]
[Meg: Don't come toward me. But I think your forehead is perfect.]
How 'bout [Meg: Look how pale it is!] How 'bout my ass?
[Meg: Okay.]
[Geoff: Alright]
[Griffon: That's where it's meant to go.]
[Griffon: It was called the 'K my A'
[Meg laughs] [Gavin: What?] [Griffon: K my A paddle]
[Meg: Like kiss my ass] [Gavin: Oooh]
[Geoff groaning]
[Griffon: Alright.] [Meg: Outside.]
[Gavin 'oohing']
[Meg: This is the man who let it happen twice too. Think about that when you're K-ing his A.]
[Gavin: We'll just do like upper ass. Like around here?]
[Meg: Oh no you're gonna have to take the whole butt out.]
[Geoff: You're gonna have to go down further so I can hit you better.] [Meg: Yeah]
[Geoff: Now also get away from this]
[Meg: Take the butt out.]
[Gavin: Just do that.]
[Geoff: Just pull your pants down a little bit.]
[Gavin: I - like, is my ass?] [Meg: Yeah you're gonna want to hold. You want the fleshy part. It's gonna hurt a lot less if you get the fleshy part]
[Griffon: It can't record video] [Gavin: Wait whoa whoa whoa]
[Gavin: Let me delete some stuff]
[Meg: Any last words Gav?]
[Geoff: Any ass-words?] Is it gonna hurt?
[Geoff: No, it doesn't hurt at all.]
[Griffon laughs]
[Geoff: It's not your fucking face]
[Gavin: This is gonna kill.]
Alright you ready?
[Paddle smack] [Gavin squeals loudly]
[Slow motion paddle smack and Gavin squeal]
[Geoff: That felt good. That felt really good.]
[Meg laughing]
[Geoff: I feel vindicated.]
[Meg still laughing: That was the most satisfying slap I think I've ever heard in my life]
[Griffon: Let's see if it's red. Let's see the lips]
[Meg: Yeah let's see your butt.]
[Geoff: It'll take a second]
[Meg: Take out the butt.]
[Geoff: It's getting there.] [Meg: Oh it's gonna be so good.]
[Griffon: It's like a Polaroid.]
[Meg: Let it develop.] [Griffon: Shake it! Shake it around a little bit.]
[Meg: How'd that feel Gav?]
Shake it like an ass Polaroid.
It really didn't feel good at all.
[Meg: No?] No.
[Griffon: Yeah I don't know how people think it's sexy.]
[Meg: Oh I do, but I mean I don't want lips in my ass.]
[Griffon laughs]
[Meg: You don't want a paddle in the bedroom? Let's see. Let's see your ass]
[Griffon: Let's see.] [Meg: You're gonna have to keep it unbuckled for a while cause we're gonna keep checking in on your ass] [Griffon laughs]
[Meg: Oh] [Geoff: Getting there.]
[Gavin: Make it do a little dance]
[Gavin: It's like, it's like...] [Geoff: How's your leg? [Griffon: You gotta wait a minute.]
[Gavin: I'm trying to make it go like [kissing sounds]]
[Griffon and Meg laughing]
[Meg laughing: Oh god]