- [Both] Hi, we're Harley Morenstein, and it's taco time.
- How'd that feel?
- [Lee] Epic.
- Yeah, you want to take that beard off, huh?
- Yeah, ouch.
- Yeah.
- [Lee] This is, Watch Me Taco.
This is the show where
we push the very definition of a taco to the limit.
Hello everyone, I'm Lee Kalpakis.
Now, here at Thrillist,
we respect and we adore the taco in its truest
and purest form.
But the tacos you're about to see are over-the-top,
insane Thrillist junk food mash-ups
that'll make all of your 420 munchies dreams come true.
Are they traditional?
- No!
- Are they authentic?
- No!
- Are they delicious?
- You bet your ass!
On today's show, we have host of, Epic Meal Time
and the largest man I've ever seen in my life,
Harley Morenstein.
- We're going to make
this gigantic (chicken clucks) chicken wing.
That falls back to a Jurassic time, savage time,
not like YouTube dab at the end of your video savage
that (beep) and (beep).
- Hey dude.
- Hi, how are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
- I'm fine, thank you for asking.
- So, here's what we do on this show,
we take all of your favorite foods
and we mash 'em up into one crazy Frankenstein taco.
And your job is to tell me whether it or not it works, okay?
So I've been told that your favorite foods are
mac & cheese, cereal, burgers, and pizza.
Is this true?
- Yeah, I have a spy in my ranks,
and he's going to be killed for this!
But that's actually accurate.
Oh also, my last meal ever would be a bowl of cereal.
If I was gonna be executed for some crazy stuff.
- What did you do?
- I don't even want to share it.
- Okay, really inappropriate.
Yeah, okay. - Yeah.
- Speaking of pizza, did you bring a little snack for me?
- I did.
- What do we got? - I brought a couple.
We got Pizza in a Bag here, which is pepperoni jerky.
Yo, I made a YouTube channel,
and now I have a jerky
that's available in every single Walmart in the USA.
A lot of the jerky I come across, it just doesn't cut it.
There's not enough innovation or excitement.
And that's when I was like, "Yo, pizza jerky,
"Pizza in a Bag,"
And the pizza slice-shaped bag I thought was cool also.
That's Pizza in a Bag,
and you know why it's called Super Snack Time?
- Why?
- Well, I was going to call it
Epic Meal Time Pizza in a Bag,
but a huge company already trademarked
that when Epic Mealtime was blowin' up.
So that's my first lesson in America, that no,
it's not yours until you pay for it!
- That's true, that's true. - Yep, I learned that lesson.
- I learned it when I was a baby.
So, these crazy tacos I'm making are made up of four parts.
I am making tortillas out of Cap'n Crunch cereal.
- Oh boy, oh boy!
- And then the filling is going to be a burger filling.
We're gonna do ground beef,
and we got a special sauce going on,
all those things are mingling together.
We're gonna do some burger toppings.
And then we're gonna get some mac & cheese in there.
And then we're gonna sprinkle
your Pizza in a Bag as a delicate, elegant garnish over top.
What do you think, are you afraid?
- I honestly, fully I have goosebumps
all over my thighs right now
and that's what happens when I get excited.
- You're gonna love these tacos, Okay?
Trust me.
But while I'm making them,
why don't you go get a little drink at the bar, huh?
- Okay.
- Why don't you go wet your whistle.
- All right.
- Okay, bye. (hands slapping)
- I like ya.
- Question the first, what year was beef jerky invented?
(upbeat western music)
- [Harley] Now listen to me.
- [Wil] What?
- Okay, David Schwimmer...
- Okay.
- Was solid, he only got better.
I was right, I was right, so now he drinks the spicy shot.
(upbeat organ music)
Oh what's that?
Uh oh, look at that.
Daddy made jerky.
Pizza-flavored jerky.
You want some?
Hey, but it's not for little (beep).
You're not a little (beep), are you?
Sorry, Dad, Daddy, you don't get any.
I'm talkin' to my dad right now, guys, ignore this.
But the rest of us,
I want you guys to know this is available at Walmart.
Every Walmart in the USA.
Pizza jerky, I'm trying to change the snack game,
we changed the cooking game,
now we're changing the snack game!
This is some next level (beep).
You know how you try
that Sasquatch jerky gas station (beep)?
This right here, moist, soft,
melts-in-your-mouth delicious jerky.
The man that made the jerky is a god,
I'll never tell you his name, he's a secret man.
This jerky right here...
(lips smacking)
Any Walmart in the USA you get this jerky, change your life.
This is the future!
This is space food!
Pizza in a Bag, you already know it, I told you one time.
Heh!
(glass clunks)
Ah.
Aah.
(soft drum solo)
(outtake beep)
Are you (beep) in the head?
- Yeah, I'm (beep) in the head. (laughing)
- (laughing) This is what you did?
- The tortillas are made out of pulverized cereal.
Your last meal on earth.
Then we have a cheeseburger situation going on,
on top of that we've got mac & cheese,
we also have mozzarella cheese, and your pepperoni jerky.
We've got your Pizza in a Bag,
so you also have your pizza element.
And now I want you to eat it,
and I want you to tell me truthfully how you feel.
- You're (beep) up.
- Yeah, I'm (beep) up, let's eat 'em.
Hey, cheers!
- [Harley] This is cool.
- [Lee] Yeah, it's cool.
(soft instrumental music)
How do you feel?
- We have cereal cheeseburgers, and pizza,
and jerky.
Welcome to the future.
This is space food.
You send this into space.
If aliens invaded Earth and they were like,
"We're going to kill everyone, ah, and suck your blood!"
Like aliens do, they're probably vampires also.
We'll be like, "Wait, try this."
And they'll be like, "We won't suck your blood,
"we'll just take one of these tacos
"and go back to our planet."
- So this is gonna protect the earth
from crazy vampire aliens?
- It's that good.
- Damn, dude, I guess--
- And I know you made it, - Yeah, I made it, yeah.
- But these are my favorite foods.
- Yeah, they're your favorite foods.
- So we made this.
- Together.
- Yes.
- For us, I name this taco, Sauce Boss Forever.
- Sauce Boss Forever tacos.
- Pizza in a Bag, pick it up at your nearest Walmart.
- Is this Mexican religious garb
or can I wipe my hands with this?
- You can wipe your hands with it, it's not religious.
Harley, I love you.
- I love you too.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Side note, imagine pornos ended like that?
If they were like,
"Hey I love you thank you so much for coming."
(both laughing)
- That's a very polite porno.
- Hey, you don't do porno in Canada?
- Thank you so much for coming. (laughing)
- Porno.ca
(both laughing)
- I really love you so much.
- Hey, thank you so much.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- This is actually really excellent, this is a great taco.
I'm going to eat--
Guys I want to you know that I'm eating the next taco,
not because I'm being polite.
It's off the video, it's not even important.
This is actually an excellent taco.
- Off-the-record taco.
(upbeat instrumental music)