- This is a therapist reacts raw.
I don't know what I'm reacting to.
Girlfriend catches cheating boyfriend.
Loyalty test, interrogation, no investigation.
Okay.
I'm here to soak up everyone else's pain
for your entertainment and instruction.
(upbeat music)
So I live to tell people
what healthy relationships look like,
but sometimes the best way to do that
is to point out what they don't look like, so.
- (Male narrator) This is Joelle.
Today we are placing her boyfriend Chris to the test.
- So Joel wants to find out if her boyfriend, Chris,
is truly loyal to her or not.
So we're having our friend, Dreya, right over here,
ask Chris on a date.
Joelle wanted to place Chris to the test,
because she felt that his interactions
with other girls on Instagram were questionable.
- He's been very...
- They were sus.
- Active with other women on social media,
specifically Instagram,
liking a bunch of girls photos, which you know,
is fine.
You can like other girls' photos.
I like other guys' photos.
You can have other friends that are girls, no big deal.
But you know, I've had some girls...
- Is Chris going to stay a smiley face the whole time?
Is he going to be an emoji?
Okay.
I don't really think they're protecting him
by making him into a smiley face emoji.
I mean,
sure the random strangers on the internet won't know,
but all his family and friends
know what his ex-girlfriend looks like.
Chris, you going down, bro.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- Our test will be taking place in this condo
that we rented out.
Dreya will pretend.
- I would love to have a hidden camera test
on whether or not I would flirt with another woman
if Alicia weren't around,
because one, I wouldn't,
two, I wouldn't even know where to start.
I'm so rusty and out of that game.
And three, if another woman were hitting on me,
I think I'd just be confused.
So, but Chris, apparently this is,
this is how Chris lives his life.
Hidden cameras.
- She is headed to the door.
- This is entrapment.
- Will Chris remain loyal to Joelle?
Or will he be willing to trade her for another girl?
- Just trade her.
Because it's the NBA draft.
- With the first pitch.
- So they're trying to establish
if he will not only trade his girlfriend for another woman,
but if he would do it in the space of a few minutes,
like that's the vote of confidence we're giving Chris here.
This isn't like a coworker
that he has had some chemistry with
and it's been months and months and months.
And he slowly kind of deviated from his relationship.
This is, does he have so little self control
that she leaves like to go get some pizza
or whatever she's going to do,
and he's immediately going for it.
My guess, is if she thinks that there's a chance
that this might work and that he might go for it,
then she already knows the answer.
Does the OG girlfriend have
any sort of like undercover training to play the part?
And like all the things that she's saying,
is Chris going to buy it?
Or does he suspect that she was always trying to get him,
you know, in like a gotcha, hidden camera,
YouTube sting operation.
Maybe he's got his guard up
because he suspects her of doing something like that.
The tangled webs.
He's sitting there, look at that, that posture though.
I mean, I can't read his face to save my life,
but the way he's sitting there is totally,
like this right here,
this is how you sit when you're about to like lay it down.
This is how you sit when you're going to lay on the charm,
at least, you know, back when I had charm 15 years ago.
- I feel like I was really far.
You could come closer and get to know each other.
Yeah.
- All right.
- Yeah, you're good.
- Was he suspicious of anything at all?
- I don't think so.
- The relationship with Chris is dead anyways,
because if he doesn't go for Dreya,
his girlfriend is still gonna be like,
hey, guess what?
I had a hidden camera for a YouTube channel
to see if you would cheat on me, but you didn't.
So I can trust you now.
And he's going to be like, what?
And then there's going to be no trust.
And I don't know why I find that so funny,
but like she is immediately signing off,
my relationship with Chris is done just by doing this.
- To be honest guys, this is the most creative
and handsome guest I've had on the podcast.
- What?
No, you're lying.
- I'm not lying.
I'm being so serious.
You're really handsome.
- I appreciate that.
You're really pretty.
- They switched his face to smiling from flat
and he tells her she's pretty.
- I might have to steal him and take him out on a date.
- Whoa, what?
- Yeah, I might just have to steal you, I'm being honest.
(laughing)
- If Chris goes for this, you know,
if we think of it like fishing and he takes this bait,
then he is the dumbest ass trout I've ever seen in my life.
And he deserves to get hooked and gutted.
- Would you want to go on a date?
- I mean, I mean I'm down.
- You dumbass.
He's on her podcast.
He's on her podcast, is the cover.
Because he's going to be on her podcast.
And she's going to say,
I want to steal you for a date.
And he was like, I'm down.
Dude wants to get caught.
This is a suicide mission.
He doesn't care.
(static beeping)
I've just been informed that I missed an important detail
that this is supposed to be a podcast rehearsal
because Dreya is supposedly a podcaster.
So he's helping her just like test it out, right.
He's still a jackass.
I don't care.
- Yeah, I mean.
- So you'd go on a, like, you'd go on a date with me?
- I would take you out.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let's put the mics down.
Are you for real?
- You confused me.
I mean, what are you saying?
You're saying.
- So like,
I'm just trying to see if you're for real
and just so you take me out.
- It's a trap.
- Yeah, I'd take you out on a date.
Hundred percent.
- Like, like you're done being like deadass serious.
Like no podcast.
No, like you're deadass.
- I mean, who wouldn't take you out on a date?
Of course I would take you on a date.
- Oh, shut up Chris.
- So Chris ends up agreeing to...
- Okay.
What Chris.
I know Dreya is playing a part.
If she were a real, she is a real person.
If the part she were playing were real.
If he's going to cheat on his girlfriend this fast,
he's going to do it to you.
This is how this works.
So you're saying I'm signing off on you leaving her for me.
Cause you're,
and you're going to leave me for somebody else
because that's the pattern, it's automatically (indistinct).
This is the thing I don't understand
about relationships based on cheating
is they're based on the foundation
of you were with somebody else.
But you left them for me,
but I'm going to trust you to be faithful to me
because you've already displayed such fine character.
Like this is what happens when people think
with their genitals.
- But, what about Joelle?
- I mean, why can't I hang out with other girls?
- It's a date, bro.
- You can hang out with other girls of course,
but like.
- All right, then we're good.
- No.
- Then we're good, yeah.
- No, we're not good.
I mean, I mean, if you want to be single,
then I think you should just be single.
- I mean, I'm with her, but like,
I'm also doing my thing, you know.
- Have you communicated that with her?
Like, does she know that?
- Like, what is there to communicate?
I'm doing my thing.
It's implied, right?
So I mean, if you're down to go on a date.
- He's supposedly in a monogamous relationship
and he's like, I'm with her,
but I'm also doing my thing.
It's implied.
Where is it implied?
And how dumb do you think Dreya is
that she's going to go for this?
- You're also asking me out on a date.
It's not like I'm going out of my way to be like, yo.
- You could always decline.
You could always say like.
- Yeah, but you're the one that asked me out on a date.
And I'm just saying, yeah, I'm down.
- But you as a person,
can consider the situation that you're in.
- Okay, I considered it.
Let's go on a date, let's do this.
- And it's just like, it's just.
- He should be sensing that it's a trap.
She's basically screaming at him, this is a trap.
And he's like, well.
- What does that mean?
- Things aren't even like that serious.
- Okay, but if you were.
Okay let's say it's me, right?
Let's say you're dating me for a year.
And a girl were to ask you on a date, you'd go?
- Good question.
- You wouldn't go?
- No.
- But how would I know that you wouldn't do that to me?
- I wouldn't.
- Yes.
- You can just trust my word.
(laughing)
- You dumbass.
- What do you think she would think about this?
If we, if she comes back and we tell her like, oh,
we're going to go on a date.
- I mean, we're just not going to tell her.
Cause if you're the one that's asking me out on a date.
I could go back and be like,
yo, your friend just asked me out on a date.
- So now I'm threatening you with blackmail.
- He's trying to put it on her, yeah.
- Oh, damn.
- And I can be like.
- Obviously I wouldn't do that
if we're really gonna do this.
- And I could be like, yo,
your boyfriend just said yes to my date.
So like, do you see that?
- Who initiated it though?
You feel me?
- Who's trying to really...
- What's cracking me up, is just the thought of Chris
not knowing how the situation suddenly got so complicated.
- Go through with it.
- I mean, the one who asked
and the one who received the question
and gave you the answer.
- No, everyone is responsible for themselves.
You can't blame it on her, but he's showing her,
I will cheat on you.
Like if you hook up with me,
I will cheat on you.
I will lie to you.
And any problems we have, I will blame them on you.
So if you're paying attention, people show you who they are.
And Chris is slime.
He's Nickelodeon gack.
- It's really about your position.
- I'm kind of her boyfriend.
- Kind of her boyfriend?
- I'm kind of her boyfriend, yeah.
- Oh my God.
- I mean, if I wanted to kiss you right now,
would you let me?
- No, what?
Okay, no, you're crazy.
But you know what?
I'm going to back up.
Cause I feel like you're about to kiss me or something.
I could feel that tension.
- I felt like you were going to kiss me.
- No I feel like you were about to make that move,
so I'm about to.
- No, if anything it's been you that's been making
all these moves and me just, you know.
- And did he think I would just never find out
about any of it, like?
- Yep, he did.
- I honestly don't even know where to start asking you,
(indistinct)
- Don't look so shocked.
It was a lot.
It was a lot, there was a lot like in that little.
- You set up this whole YouTube sting
because you already suspected he was a jackass.
- Johnny.
- He doesn't even act like I'm a part of the equation.
- I know this was a lot, you know, but I got to ask you now,
do you want to walk in there and have a conversation?
- Hell yes.
- About like what you just saw?
- To catch a predator, let's go.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- I do.
- Okay.
Do you need a minute?
Do you need.
- I could see why people get sucked
into this sort of thing though.
I'm having the time of my life.
- Do you want to just go?
- I don't but I just, I just want to go.
- Do it!
- Cool.
(door creaking)
- Bring the castration tools.
- Are you kidding me, Chris?
What, what just happened here?
I listened to the entire thing.
- And here comes the camera crew.
- What is this?
(laughing)
- You were set up, I listened to that entire conversation.
You were about to cheat on me.
- I can't trust you, Chris.
- Why'd you set me up?
- Clearly I needed to, you're cheating on me.
- Cheating on who?
- You were about to kiss her.
- I love that she runs in though, and doesn't even see it,
that she's calling him out for his lack of integrity.
And she set him up for a YouTube sting operation.
I want them in my office.
I would do this pro bono.
This I would do for my own enjoyment.
I need them.
- She started this.
(crosstalk)
- She started this.
Gentlemen, just because you're a dude doesn't mean
you can't control yourself.
I don't know who lied to you and said that you couldn't.
And that if a woman came on to you had to jump at it,
it being the situation, not the woman.
I would never call a woman it.
But you can say no,
you can walk out of a room.
You can turn someone down.
You can express your love for your partner.
You can do these things
and it doesn't make you less of a man,
because if it did, I wouldn't want to be a man.
If this is what it means to be a man I'm out.
- You know you have a bad friend then.
- You have a bad friend then.
It's anyone but me.
- I mean, she might be now.
- I never kissed anybody, I didn't do anything.
Can we talk, just me and you?
- Anything that you can say to me,
you can say in front of everyone right now.
- Why, all these cameras,
why can't it just be me and you?
- This was a pandemic relationship.
That's all you said.
- Whatever.
- Whatever, that's the only answer.
- Whatever is how you roll over and die
when you know you're beat.
- I don't care about any of this.
If you want to talk to me then we can talk.
- I care about you.
- Do you know what just happened?
- I'm not going to explain anything.
Nothing happened.
Did I kiss her?
Did I touch, did I touch you?
Did we kiss?
- You would have.
This just reminds me a lot of watching Twilight
because literally everybody's terrible.
She deceives him.
He deceives her.
He blames everybody else.
He says, I care about you.
He doesn't take ownership for his behavior.
So if you think this is the norm,
because you don't know what healthy relationships look like,
here's what it looks like.
Someone comes on to you.
You say, no, you walk out, you leave.
You do something wrong, you mess up, you own it.
You say, I'm sorry.
You take full accountability for it.
And don't try and put it on somebody else's lap.
Also, if you've got concerns,
discuss them with your partner instead of, you know,
hiring a secret camera crew for clicks.
But I can't really criticize anybody for doing anything
for clicks because here I am.
Real people, real pain, real problems.
I probably shouldn't laugh.
That might make me insensitive,
but this is created for our entertainment.
And as Maximus asks:
- "Are you not entertained?"
- I am entertained as hell.
That was delicious.
So if you want to see me react
to some more juicy drama.
Therapist reacts to The Bachelor
was another equally painful turbulent turd.
And I hope you enjoy that.
If you need help healing from infidelity,
either healing your relationship,
because you're still trying to make it work or it's done,
but you just need to work
through the betrayal trauma of it all.
Our therapists are qualified
and trained to help you with that.
Complimentary 15 minute discovery call,
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As always like, subscribe, click the bell.
What did you think of this clip and my reaction to it?
What do you think a healthy relationship is and isn't?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
What would you like me to react to in pop culture?
Let me know in the comments below.
So until next time, I'm Jonathan Decker.
This has been therapist reacts raw.
We'll see you later.
Oh, here comes that bachelor video
because you just can't get enough of the drama.
Oh the drama.
It's so, so delicious.