-Yo, I got phat beats!
[beatboxes, imitates record scratch]
[laughs]
-Hey! Get your paws off me, mister!
-Wha--? Huh?
-Oh, hey. What's up?
-[screams in terror]
-Whoa! What's with all the screaming?
-Monster!!! Aah!
-Yeah. Not a monster. Hamburger.
-Get away from me, monster!
[spitting seeds] -Oh, gross!
Are you seriously spitting seeds at me right now?!
-I'll never let you destroy the kitchen!
-Bleh! Destroy the what?
-You'll never take me alive!
[rapid automatic fire]
[bullets ricocheting] -Aah! Oh!
How does an orange have a gun?
-Eat lead, monster!!
-Aah! Stop it!
[firing stops]
-Okay. Are we calm now? Can we just talk like normal--
[gunfire, exclaims]
KNOCK IT OFF!!
-Sorry. Itchy trigger finger.
-Geez! What is with you?
-What? You look like a monster.
-I'm not a monster. I told you, I'm a hamburger.
-More like Monster Burger. -I'm not a monster!
Cripes, is this how you treat all of your guests?
Scream, call them names, and then shoot at 'em?
-Umm...
-Yo, what's up, bro?
-[screams] It's a butt fruit!
[gunfire]
-[exclaims]
-Ooh! This place looks nice!
-[screams] It's a midget green alien!
[gunfire] -[exclaims]
-Hello, friend!
-[screams] It's an ugly fruit!
-Yeah, you're right. I am an Ugli fruit.
-Oh.
[gunfire] -[exclaims]
-Yeah, right. I would never do that.
[laughs nervously]
-[sarcastically]: Yeah, I'm sure.
-So then, you're not gonna eat me, Monster Burger?
-Bro, I'm a ham-burger. How many times do I have to tell you?
-Ham-burger? Do you park in the "porking" lot? [laughs]
-Puns? Really?
-I bet you do things really full "boar." [laughs]
-Ugh! Those puns don't even make sense!
I'm made of beef, not ham.
-Wait, monster burgers are made of beef?
Sounds like "bovine" intervention. [laughs]
-[fake laugh] Shut it! Listen!
If I have to tell you one more time that I'm not a monster,
I'm gonna hit you so hard, Chuck Norris would be impressed!
-Violence won't solve anything.
-YOU WERE THE ONE SHOOTING ME WITH A GUN!
-Self-defense. -Self-de--? [groans]
Good Lord, you're annoying!
-I'm not annoying; I'm an--
-Let me guess: Orange.
Ha, freaking hilarious! Yeah! -Okay, okay.
If you're not a monster, then what are you?
-I told you: hamburger.
Meat, then I got a bunch of lettuce,
cheese, tomatoes, and other stuff in here.
-HUH? -What?
-You ate Lettuce, Cheese, and Tomato? Alive?!
-[scoffs] No. I didn't actually eat--
-YOU ARE A MONSTER!!
[screams, gunfire]
-[exclaims]
-YOU ATE ALL THE FOODS IN THE KITCHEN, MONSTER BURGER!
-Stop! Stop!! Stop!!!
-[screaming]
-Stop shooting me!!
-Well, stop eating my friends.
-I didn't eat your friends. Just because I'm made of these things
doesn't mean that I ate them.
I'm not a monster, just a hamburger!
[hysterically]: GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK PEEL!
[panting heavily]
-Um... hey.
-What?! What is it?!
-Monster Burger.
-[hysterically]: Are you kidding me?!
I'm gonna rip your peel off and shove it down your--
[Monster Burger growling, Hamburger screams]
-[reacts in disgust]
-The irony! Aah, he's killing me!
Ah-- [chomp!]
-Whoa! That monster burger is really "deranged." [laughs]
-What? I don't get it. -Oh, see you're a hamburger
and hamburgers are made of beef. Beef come from cows
and cows hang out at a range. Get it? De-ranged?
-[gasps] I get it!
[both laugh]
[gunfire, both exclaiming]
-I can't believe I'm finally here on vacation.
-Whoa, Nerville, that's amazing! -What?
My immense knowledge of the Valley of Napa?
-No. That you get a vacation. Do you even have a job? [laughs]
[laughs] Knife! [Captions by StreamCaptions.com]