hey everybody today I want to talk with
you about coming out so stay tuned so
coming out is something that you're
gonna have to decide on your own whether
you want to do it you're ready to do it
you don't know what it is that you feel
you are right now and you just aren't
sure it's all part of your process all
in your own time
some people come out when they're 14
others when they're 40 and some choose
to never come out so know that it's up
to you there's no pressure to come out
or not but before we even start talking
about this I want you all to consider
your own safety and quality of life at
school at work with your family and
friends because I want to make sure that
we're not putting ourselves in jeopardy
by coming out and that we're all safe
and none of us are gonna be harmed and
the reason that I tell you to make sure
that your safety and quality of life
aren't hindered is because this is a
time in your life where I want you to be
celebrated I want it to be exciting this
is a big deal and this is something that
I want you to do with someone who cares
about you respects you and we almost
know what their response is gonna be
because if we're gonna come out to a
huge group oftentimes they're people in
that group we're not close to and I
don't want to setting ourselves up for
any situation we could potentially be
bullied or have someone have a bad
response to something that should be
really a happy wonderful occasion now
let's get started so here are some
questions I want you to consider before
coming out now the first is am I sure
that I'm LGBTQ keep in mind that it is
completely normal and fine to be
questioning for a very long time there's
no limitation like I have to decide am I
am i by my lesbian am i am I just
questioning my well by what hook there's
no rush you don't have to decide and
come out like I said everyone's
timetable everyone's process is
different so take your time with it but
before you decide to actually come out
to people around you make sure you know
what you're telling them
now the second question I want you to
think about is why am i coming out am i
coming out because I want to and I'm
ready and this is something that I've
been building up to or is it because I
feel pressure from other people by me
putting this video out I in no way want
you to think that this is something you
have to do or this is something that has
to be done in a certain time this is
just a way to make sure that we're
considering everything that we're doing
it because we're ready and this is
something that we want now the third
question and sometimes the hardest to
even answer is can I deal with people's
varying responses to it we all know
there's gonna be someone in our lives
that is the most difficult to tell
because we're not sure how they're going
to respond and it can take people time
even those closest to us who love us the
most may not know how to really respond
to it or what to say or what to do and
it can take them a little while to kind
of digest the information and come back
and be excited for you so I want you to
consider if you're ready to give them
that time so now I want to get into the
process of coming out we've spent the
time we've answered and thought about
the questions I talked about before and
we realized that we're ready and this is
something that we want to work towards
now the first thing that I want you to
do is to prepare start testing the
waters with your friends and loved ones
about mentioning a gay celebrity or
mentioning a show that has a LGBTQ
person in it just start bringing it up
little by little to see how they respond
to it now the second stage is practice
like with everything I always tell you
you know write it down practice in front
of a mirror but this time it really
really helps because we may be feeling a
lot of nerves and we may forget half of
the things that we wanted to say and I
want to make sure you've practiced it so
much that when you go to talk to the
person and decide to tell them all about
it that you feel it best represents you
the third step is pick someone now I
usually tell people to pick one or two
people because this is the first time
that we're doing it and we want to make
sure these are people that are really
close to us that love us and support us
it can also help us practice right we're
getting the experience of doing it we
want it to be a good one we're kind of
dipping our toes in this and also the
great thing about coming out to people
that we know are going to be supportive
is that then we can have support later
when we go on to tell more people now
the fourth step is do it pick a time in
a place where everybody's pretty relaxed
and feels comfortable don't do it at
Christmas dinner or some big family
event or someone's big birthday
get-together make sure this is a time
when you have the time to talk with them
to answer questions to feel at ease with
the situation now the fifth and final
step and sometimes the hardest is be
patient like I said before it may take
people a while to decide how they feel
about it to digest information and come
out and be excited for you like they
should be and we need to be able to give
them that time and that's why it's great
to start this with one or two people who
we love who are closest to us and who
most likely to be supportive because we
can have their extra support during the
times and we're waiting to hear back
from people and to get the response that
we're hoping for now like I said at the
beginning I want to reiterate that there
is no pressure to come out this is all
and your own time like I said some
people choose to never come out some
people are questioning their sexuality
for a long period of time so there is no
pressure to come out but if you do make
sure that you take care in it and you
watch this video and just consider some
of the things I mentioned and if you're
looking for a helpful book this book has
been amazing for me just to read and to
help understand it's been really helpful
for a lot of my clients and there's a
lot of great information and this is
it's called the Survival Guide for gay
lesbian bisexual transgender and
questioning teens now there are adult
versions but this one is just great for
anyone who is considering coming out
who's concerned about how to talk to
family it's really a great book I can't
recommend a highly
and if you're new to my channel don't
forget to subscribe I put out videos all
the time and as always if you like this
topic if you want me to talk about it
more and give more tips and tricks about
it let me know give it a thumbs up and
if you haven't been the katimorton.com
gotta get on it I have wonderful chat
rooms and forums as well as my new shop
that I put out under my goodies there
are t-shirts and sweatshirts and coffee
mugs and all sorts of great things so
get on there and check it out