Never before has there been a day more
Appropriate for the (voice crack)top of the morning to ya laddies than Saint PaTTie's day
Are ye ready to get irish, ye all wearing green ye, all having your fuckin' sup'o tae?
Oh I hope you are. I hope today is going to be the most irish day of your life. I'll be your host today
Apparently the fucking face for Ireland all over YouTube for some stupid reason.
Hi, Jack Irish Face here leading you through this nonsensical farce of a holiday. *laughs*
I mean - No! Of course! St. Patrick, snakes, Ireland, yes!
Now you have to be wearing green on St Paddy's Day
You can't be just going around in your fucking mother's linen and hope that you'll get away with it
if you're not wearing green you'll get a baytin off someone so I -
I've fucking green hair, green hat, green chair. There are several shades of green in this room cause DAMN IT I'M FUCKIN PATRIOTIC
*sneezes*
That's not part of it. That's not part of being irish. That's just sneezing your fuckin' brains out through your nose holes
Lesson survival tip number one for St.. Paddy's day. Is that it's PaDDy's day
Not Patty's day. There's no fucking double t's in the middle of this, it's
P-A-D-D-Y get it right or again?
BAYTINS ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
lesson number two! baytins means beatings. it sounds like masturbating, but it's not. it's about BAYTIN the shite out of ya
it's okay. You're uninitiated I'll get to that in due time
Which is what the course of this whole video is about is that I am going to be reading you some more irish slang like
I did before -
Shut the fuck up phone
Like I did before
where I read some Irish slang
out of a beautiful book called the big feckin' book of irish slang. I don't have that anymore, I gave it to Felix as a Christmas present
neither here nor there!
I don't have the book anymore so im just gonna have to fucking rely on the internet and hopefully the internet can provide
Now forgive me if I for some reason don't
"Remember" some of the ones I did in the last video
What do you think I am, some sort of elephant that never forgets? Fuck no
we're just going to jump right in and start reading read slang.ie
That's a great place to start. if there's any place that's gonna have slang
It's a website dedicated to it
Oh bejaysus he was bullin'!
He was fuckin' - now bullin can mean two things.
Bullin' can be jaysus was fierce mad. Lord Jaysus Holy Ghost in the Mother of Jaysus
he's fierce mad over there now! He's ready for a fuckin' baytin
Or!
Bullin could be like you're dying to do something like I'm bullin for a shite lads, lads I'll be out in a minute!
But I'm bullin for a shite. Y'know what I mean?
Ah jaysus thats -
Thats - *laughs* fuckin' hell
Some of these are awesome!
Yeah, fierce is in there!
Fierce - *laughs* according to this fierce means very which yeah I guess you could say that
"It's a fierce nice day out!"
Lord Jaysus it's a great day for drying!
The more you can say Fierce, Jaysus -
- it's not Jesus it's Jaysus - and the more you say grand
"howaya doin' now?" "Ah sure I'm grand" Sure - sure and grand - another one!
I'm teaching you the lingo. I'm getting you initiated because you're all gonna
Go out there on PaDDy's day, and you're just going to be out there saying woo, I'm irish
Top o the morning to ya (hilarious accent)
no! You need to learn some real actual Irish slang. Otherwise you'll just get...
BAYTINS
go 'way outta that ya gowl!
that's a fierce lookin' quare yoke over there //you know you're Irish when you understand all that//
*laughs*
There's a lot to take in there. Let's deconstruct this sentence.
Actually - I probably should just leave the sentence there. And let you guys figure out what the hell I'm actually saying *laughs*
Jaysus lads, it was savage!
See a lot of people going around there saying like
Oh! Brutal! Savage!
Jack's a savage!
No!
something that's savage is something that's fuckin' cool
Lads, that was fuckin' savage! See the football game last night?
Did you watch the hurlin'? it was savage!
Another part of being Irish is yelling a lot.
Um, It's not our fault
It's just because we're so sick of the world not actually listening to us //so true jack// so we resorted to drinking and getting
Very very rambunctious in our debauchery and just yelling until people understood our opinions
I mean people still don't give a shit about us, but I mean we yell like we care
BAYTINS! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
Here's some fuckin' good ones now
schoops!
are you going for a few scoops? who - who here knows? Hands up!
who here knows what that means. Scoops
The word is scoops. Nobody? Nobody?
Scoops means drink
it means that you're going for a few scoops of alcohol
Alcoholic beverages
As people would call them
A few schoops. If you're from the Wesht //ayyyy//
Everything that follows an "s" has a "h" sound after it for some reason
if you're over there in Galway or Mayo
Shure everything over in the Wesht shounds like this //is in the Wesht, can confirm//
Shure you're goin' for a few schoops!
We don't get it either.
Now baytins are one thing
if you're getting a few baytins
That's one thing but by Jaysus if you talk to me about schoops
And you're not ready to go out and actually have a few
I'll get you a fucking clatter across the ear. You'll be getting a clatter and a half now!
Clatter? Clatter. it said the more you say like clatter (roll the "R" sound). I'll give ya a fuckin' clatterin'! *rolls r sound*
That - that's how you definitely know *laughs*
Oh My God. It's so hard to understand any of us.
Most of us who're in the country
Don't even understand half of what the fuck we're saying //this is true//
that's some sour puss you have on you
I know it sounds like you're talking about a vagina, but you're not. A puss is a face.
It's like your mouth if you have a -
That's it
That's a sour puss.
"You had a fuckin sour aul face on ya altogether"
That actually brings me on to a good one!
Is you don't say cold or old.
You say cauld and auld
Jays she's fierce auld. Look at her walk across in the cauld. Jays she's fierce aul -
She shouldn't be out! look at her on her bike. On her fuckin' high nelly. She flying down the road.
She on her way to get the fucking groceries.
Jim's up in the house. And he doesn't know what's going on. Shure Jim lost the mind. Jim's lookin fierce shook now.
*laughs*
This is actually how Irish people talk?
And I feel like the worst Irish person ever because I don't say these things normally like gawk in here
It says gawk means sick. Whereas to me, gawk would always be to look at someone. //same jack//
To have a - to have an aul gawk
Look at - look at them two over there! Gawking at us
Yeah, doesn't mean sick. What are you talking about?
There it is!
Number 67!
BAYTIN
B - A - Y - T - I - N
Regional pronounciation for the word beating
So, if you're gonna beat someone, ya might as well bayte them //sound advice//
*laughs*
Haype
Haype - in here it says haype means "loads"
I guess - there's two ways of saying this
"There was a haype of lads out there!" means that there was a lot of them
It means "heap"
"there was a heap of lads out there" but Irish people, instead of saying "beat" you say "bayte"
Instead of "heap" you say "haype" - there was a haype of them over there! Means there was a lot of them
But also you could say
Boys
After all them schoops last night I in a haype. I was in a fuckin - *laughs* - In a hoop! *laughs more*
Haven't heard that in a while
Ah there's a good one! "Whisht"
Ah will ya whisht!
It means to be quiet.
Will ya shut the fuck up will ya? Will ya whisht?
Except
I just remember my bro - no, not my brother -
My friend's mother
Used to say that a lot
"will ye whist?" when like the TV was on
It was the only person I have ever heard actually say that normally. Otherwise people would just make fun of it.
See, again, if you're from the West that's the kind of stuff you'd be saying
We're gonna finish off this video
Have you all learned a lot by now? I hope you're going out there now, and you're not saying
"should we go out for a few alcholic beverages on Patty's day?"
No!
It's "C'mon lads we're goin' for a few schoops on Paddy's day, will we?"
and you always have to like
D'ya know what I mean? You have to say stuff like that. You have to like, end your sentence with a question.
Will we go out will we? you're like, doubling up yourself as well
It's like To be sure to be sure! *laughs*
why is the Irishman wear two condoms?
To be sure to be sure! //ba dum tiss//
So I'm gonna to leave you with some adjectives here. The first one is gammy. If something's gammy, it's useless. Its awful.
Ah thats a gammy lookin' bike that you're riding! I'm not gonna be fuckin seen riding that yoke, it's a gammy looking thing
That's a good one. Another one is manky. Not the pokemon
I know what you're thinking - mankey and primape. No. Manky means something is very soiled or smelly
thats a manky looking badger! *laughs*
Or if a dog is like manky or something like that. Or if yer one over there is fuckin manky
Don't be gawking at her, don't be lookin' - don't - don't -
Don't be ganderin' at her because she'll look back at ya
And then that'd be fuckin manky.
And the last one I'm going to leave you with
Oh thats a good one
A haymes. If you make a haymes of something it means you've just fucked it up. It's like -
Aw God
I was trying to build a sandcastle and I made a fuckin haymes of it
It means that you ruined it
It's not - it's not good anymore. You destroyed it. It's not good
What else can you say? I was making this video! Probably made a haymes of this
Cause now all the real irish people are sitting there like
Oh God Jack what are you doing
And all its all the other people who are fascinated by Irish culture are like "listen to him talk!"
"Sure doesn't he have a great accent" Well. They wouldn't actually say it like that because that'd be an irish person saying it...
I don't know what's going on anymore *laughs* But that does it! That's your that's your guide through Paddy's day
I hope a lot of you are going to go out there now, and you're gonna Irish responsibly
It's the one day on the world that everyone is pretending to be Irish
I mean, I don't know why I don't know why you'd pretend to be Irish
I mean, it's not like we're fucking great or anything. Well. It's - fair play to ye! Haha! More power to ya
I hope that you all learned something here today
I hope that you sat down with your sup o'tae. This is actually coffee
So I'm a fucking fraud. Drink responsibly, have a good aul time, make the most of it and don't forget
BAYTINS
That does it for this video. Thank you all for watching, I'm going to leave you with a slán agus beannacht
Dunno did any of that video make sense.I've fuckin no idea. It was fun though!