URGHH! This rain is so annoying!
YOU'RE so annoying!
Yeah well, I hope it ends soon.
I hope YOU end soon.
Urgh! I'm getting soaked!
YOU'RE getting soaked... Errr and you're ugly as well!
As ever Edd your sense of humour never ceases to amaze me.
Was that an insult?!
You figure it out.
(Lightning)
Finally, after many years I return. Now it's time to- WAIT! That was an insult!!
(Music)
Well, when they found the skeleton in my kitchen. They assumed it was mine. So, by the time
got home the landlords had already rented the place out to someone else. So, that's when I-
(Evil Music)
Hey guys! Do you see a sinister looking guy down that alleyway?
Woah! yeah!
Oh that is sinister!
Oh, I meant that alleyway.
Kind of looked like Edd with a beard.
Don't be silly only Tom can grow a beard.
I have a disorder.
There is no way it could be me.
OR IS IT?
No. There isn't.
Oh, wait. Maybe.
I am you from the far off year of two thousand and-
Where Cola has been outlawed as a drug all over the globe.
After several years I realised there was only one choice. I have to travel to the past to
KILL MY PAST SELF TO SPARE ME FROM SUCH A GRIM FUTURE.
But that doesn't look very futuristic.
(Music)
I wanted my chicken extra crispy!
THIS CHANGES NOTHING!
(Music)
Excuse me I have extremely important business to attend to an- ARGHHH!! WHAT CRUEL IRONY!
Such a nice young man.
(Music)
Oh no! A giant laser! Help me Super-Guy!
Nothing to fear with my powers I can stop anything in the world. Just as long as it
isn't lasers- ARGHH!!
(Music)
Grab what you need and lets get out of here.
Oh baby, i've missed you.
Passport, nope. Medicine, nope. Priceless heirlooms, nope.
Ahh ha, my lucky can!
Matt, come on! We have to go!
Okay i'm on my way!
Sorry guys, you'll be in my heart.
AWWW (unison)
Right, time for... Operation mega escape 4.
Urgh! Open! Access! Enter! Broccoli?
(Music)
Hey Edd!
Alright guys, so it's the pasta for you. The tacos for you. And for you?
Whatever you want sweet chee-
Urghh, i'm just have the meat and potato pie.
Alright, would anyone like any drinks?
We'll just have one... Two... Yeah, better make it two gallons of coke please.
So, why exactly are we all running away from this guy if he only wants to kill Edd?
Hey!
Well, without Edd it would just be me and you. And well, that would suck.
Has anyone else noticed this is like the most we've ever spoken?
Hey Edd! (Outside)
Holy bug in a pizza box!
Bloodbloodbloodbloodblood.
What made you think your future self would not know where his past self would be hiding?!
What?
Then how come it took you so long to find u-
Shut up! Now prepare to die!
Wait, how do we know you're actually Edd from the future?
Well, our lucky can Edd. I remember exactly how we got it.
LALALALALALA! Oh a can! Shove! LALALALALALA!
He's right!
Now that's out of the way. Prepare to die.
But, but wouldn't this make some kind of paradox or something?
Don't be stupid, that kind of thing only happens in the movies. The movies. Movies. (Glitches)
(Screaming)
(Music)
Son of a- (Gargles) DELICIOUS!
This is going to be harder than I thought.
Looks like i'll need reinforcements.
Excuse me bu- ARGHHH!!
Oh my god! He bit off his arm!
Run away!
Whoops, looks like I undershot it a bit.
Argh, help me!
Oh, y'know I would Matt, but err y'know timelines. Paradox's and stuff.
Meanwhile!
Huh! It's a good thing red leader had a second time travel device.
Now we just have to stop Edd before he messes anything up in the future.
Oh he's a dead man.
So, where should we start looking?
I'm not sure, but I hope Edd's past self has enough sense to hide somewhere.
Hahaha! I'm distracted.
Who keeps buying this stuff?
Yeeeee!
Yeah, we should probably get back to the cars now.
Time to finish this once and for all with my army of meee's!
Eddins. Sir. Edd. Eddious. And Edd-gu.
So, now there is no escape. Attack my brethren!
(Screaming)
How can this plan get any worse?
Stop right there!
Oh god i'm old!
Hey, why the eye thing?
Remember that laser you took to the face?
Err yeah?
Cancer.
Anyway, Edd we are here to stop you before you destroy the future for your selfish needs.
No! I won't go back! I won't go back to that bleak soda-free future!
NOO SUSAN!!
Not the face!
Ouch!!
Dashdashdashdashdashdash.
Matt hurry! Save us!
Today we have pleasure of speaking to well known creator, author, founder and king of
pretty much everything in existence since the dawn of man known simply as Matt.
Tell us Matt, how did you come up with the idea of creating and ruling everything in existence?
Well, it all started when I got my hands on a- I mean invented my own time machine. Anyway
I pretty much went back in time an-
I hat- LOVE MATT!!
(Music)