- Hey, Psych2goers.
You know the feeling, you've seen the meme,
the dog with coffee in the flaming room.
This is fine.
Even still the shot of the arm emerging
from quick sand giving a thumbs up.
You may think, "oh, that is so me right now."
Truth is, society has set expectations
that make achieving that state of happiness
far more arduous than it should be.
So we do what most do,
put on our fake it till you make it hats,
so often we forget it's on.
It's time to unveil the truth and stop the masquerade.
We're going to look at some signs to help make it happen.
Number one, talking about emotions makes you squirm.
Do you subconsciously believe emotions make you weak?
Though, this myth is something
we're finally starting to decry,
it's still long time ingrained and a tough one to beat.
Sadness and anger are normal emotions that are felt,
yet many of us actively try to stop it.
Never feeling comfortable revealing
this perceived loss of control.
If this is you, then this might be a sign
that you're faking your happiness.
Some good news about feeling anger and sadness though,
it's not weak, it's human.
Genuine serenity and balance are achieved in large part,
through the ability to let go, expressing our true feelings.
Number two, constantly showing the good times,
instead of living them.
Do you know someone whose entire involvement
in any event or hangout is posting constant updates
and selfies yet never doing the activity?
The post even reads, "that party life"
or is captioned, "hiking fills my soul."
Despite you knowing they left the party after taking the pic
or they didn't even hike more than 10 steps.
You probably already you surmised this,
but that contentment may be put on.
Fake happy alert.
A recent study looked across 11 social media networks,
which include the big names like Facebook, Twitter
and Instagram, and found that heavy users
are far more likely to be lonely
and unhappy than light users.
Is your happiness heavily dependent on making envious?
Well, constantly promoting or creating a sense
of superiority online or offline,
leaves no room for genuine joy.
Real happiness comes from the self,
not by leaching envy from others.
Number three, you're not yourself anymore.
You look in the mirror one day and realize,
you have no idea who you are, but you used to.
Many unhappy people tend to lose themselves
in the process of faking their happiness.
They hurdle head on into the myth
that happiness comes from outside validation.
In a relatively short period of time,
they strip and change everything from clothes to hobbies,
because they don't fit the new and improved image.
Subsequently, they also distanced themselves
from old friends that remind them
of the dissatisfactory original.
What's really happened is that instead of working
with the identity and self that was given, it was discarded.
All that's left is an artificial new you persona,
created in order to fit in with the perceived better crowd.
Have you ever wanted to increase your
own level of happiness?
Or maybe you'd like to do something in particular
to help raise your joy and wellbeing.
Or maybe you've always wanted to experience
an Ivy league education without the commitment.
Yale university is offering an online course,
called The Science of Well-Being.
Where Dr. Santos reveals certain misconceptions
about happiness and recommends tips
for increasing happiness,
such as savoring our everyday experiences
and appreciating them while they happen,
as well as encouraging random acts of kindness.
These are just small snippets
of what the course has to offer.
If you like this video and wanna learn more
about how to go from fake happy
to increasing your own wellbeing and productivity,
then you should check out the science of wellbeing.
Did we also mention that over 3 million people
have enrolled and it's the online equivalent
to their most popular on-campus course?
The course is comp completely online,
self-paced, and the best part yet,
you can earn a certificate from Yale upon completion.
So make sure you click the description box below
to check the course out.
Number four, you want everyone off your lawn, always.
There's nothing wrong with wanting alone time.
Some get energy from parties, some recharge in solitude,
and that's all good.
Long term social isolation though, is too far.
Perhaps you believe, I'm better off on my own
or I don't need anyone, I'm happy with just me.
Really though, this is likely more a sign
of faking your happiness
and avoiding being called out on it.
Making an effort to meet new people
or reconnect with old friends,
may help you start feeling genuinely content,
by challenging yourself to stay more connected
to those around you.
Humans are social creatures.
Remember, even if it's just being social
with your two closest friends and a once a month,
two minute chat with dog owners
at the off leash park, that's still social.
Putting yourself out there can take effort,
but it's well worth it.
Number five, you're exhausted all the time.
You're fatigued, had a rough day and you're stressed.
Got it.
It happens.
However, if this is your everyday, all day norm,
it might be a sign of psychological
or medical issues, like sleep apnea.
Mental health-wise, fatigue is a typical symptom
for individuals who are battling anxiety or depression.
So if you find yourself repeatedly claiming
that you're fine and cheerful,
when you're near to exhaustion,
take a closer look at what else could be there.
And number six, you are developing new addictions and vices.
Is retail therapy putting you in crippling debt?
Has drowning your sorrows with whiskey
and wine become a constant life requirement?
If so, you might be self-medicating to fake the happiness.
The life of the party may not actually be loving life,
and the consistent nightlife wild child,
could be doing it to cope with depression.
In these situations, excessive drinking
or drug use may be an attempt to escape
from reality and avoid feeling the truth of the matter.
Any habit that goes into excessive
life interrupting territory,
could well be a form of escapism,
where you are avoiding instead of dealing.
You've likely heard the saying
that nothing good ever came easy.
And part of that is admitting that you're troubled
by something more significant than you're letting on.
Resolution is good and acknowledgement
is the first step towards it.
Faking happiness doesn't always mean mental illness.
The most significant clue is to analyze
and discover why you are pretending.
Who are you deceiving?
Is there anything deeper behind it?
How many of these points in this video can you relate to?
Be compassionate and honest with yourself.
Discovering answers to these kinds
of questions is crucial to the get happy process.
And no one said you have to go it alone either.
Reach out to anyone, from a trusted friend
or family member, to a professional therapist,
who may be the right person to assist you.
A big shout out to Coursera for sponsoring this video
and offering a Yale university course to our viewers.
Do you relate to any of the signs above?
Do you have more signs to share?
Leave your comments below
and as always, thanks so much for watching.
See you next time.