Relationships are often how we find ourselves.
Whether they succeed or fail, they form a significant part of our lives.
And that’s exactly where we meet Julie:
trying to find what she loves –
but is it lust?
Julie is a
Doctor
Psychologist
Photographer
Bookstore clerk
Still figuring it out.
She switches hairstyles and boyfriends,
before settling into a relationship with older cartoonist Aksel.
She meanders through life - and doesn’t apologise for it.
Even as she enters her 30s.
Her situation is a stark contrast to the women that came before her.
It’s what separates recent generations.
Everything takes longer.
More time is a luxury to be grateful for today.
But,
it can also bring existential dread -
when you don’t know what to do with it.
If you can’t succeed with all that privilege, are you The Worst Person in the World?
Already established, Aksel gives Julie enough stability to work part-time and wait for inspiration to strike.
He supports her when her father doesn’t.
And gives her the love she needs
BUT.
She doesn’t have to take it.
Aksel’s desire for kids sets off it’s own ticking clock:
Julie’s exit.
She’s frank about her desire, and doesn’t stick around if she no longer wants something.
But is it even better?
In her world…
Love Burns Bright & Burns Out.
She's not ready to settle.
There’s beauty to her embracing her desires,
and doing so selfishly - something rarely afforded women in film.
As the dust settles, she finds herself perpetually unsatisfied.
She finds faults in Eivind, and focuses on them:
Suddenly their shared existence irritates her.
Or is she really irritated with herself?
It’s the messiness of being an adult.
Our desires change, as we do.
It’s something Aksel was right about all along.
His maturity and wisdom warning Julie:
It takes tragic misfortune for Julie to slow down and face herself.
What does she really want?
Aksel’s terminal diagnosis shows her just how fleeting life is.
And leaves a lot of what ifs.
Perhaps they would have reconnected down the line,
now that’s no longer an option.
We don’t have as much time as we think.
So don’t squander it.
And Ignore Sunk Costs
One of those most beautiful things about our working brain is the ability to change our mind.
Previous choices shouldn’t dictate present ones - if we don’t like the road they’re
taking us down.
Julie is a perfect example of this.
She abandons her medical studies - good grades and all - because she merely doesn’t want
to be a doctor.
Amen to that.
Abandon What “Should” Be
Finally, we see the portayal of a grown women without child as a relief.
Even if something seems idyllic in society’s eyes, it might not be so in yours.
You're allowed to honour yourself.
And let life be as it is:
an experiment.