Did you see that?
This video is said to show
a genuine poltergeist
in action.
In just 90 seconds,
you can see lockers are being rocked
back and forth,
doors opening,
and this sign flipping out of nowhere.
Well, thankfully
poltergiests arent real,
right?
RIGHT?
(Gulp)
OK, so what is a poltergeist?
Well, a poltergeist
is a specific type of ghost
that’s said to torment
and harass its victims.
They’ve been known to move furniture,
make loud noises,
break valuables,
and throw things at unsuspecting mortals.
They aren’t some long-lost loved one
trying to communicate with you,
or a friendly spirit with unfinished business.
Poltergeists are malevolent,
horrifying spirits
that only want to ruin your day.
In summary,
they’re a bunch of jerks.
Now, imagine that
being haunted by a poltergeist
is as common as having
bugs invade your home.
But instead of having bedbugs,
your bed is levitating off the ground.
What could you do about it?
Well, if poltergeists were real,
there would be a whole new industry
of ghost hunters
and ectoplasmic exterminators.
And their business would be booming.
"We're ready to believe you!"
Real estate agents could offer
spirit cleanings as part of their
home marketing packages.
The only problem with that
is that poltergeists
tend to latch onto a person,
not a location.
So to satisfy that need,
new businesses offering
“personal haunting cleanses”
would open up.
Kind of like a day spa,
but instead of taking away stress,
they’d be taking away a terrifying spirit.
Poltergeists would also have an impact
on our relationships.
Let’s say that you live
with a bunch of roommates,
and you’re experiencing some
major poltergeist activity.
How could you find out
which roommate brought the spirit in?
And is it even OK
to call someone out on being haunted?
It’s not exactly a conversation
you’d look forward to.
And don’t even get us started
on how it would affect
your romantic relationships.
On top of having to deal
with your partner’s baggage,
be it their family
or their exes,
you’d also have to deal with their
poltergeist baggage.
And you thought your mother-in-law
was trouble.
So, with this new spike in poltergeist activity,
who’s most at risk
of “catching” one?
Well, according to experts,
poltergeist activity is usually linked
to the presence of children.
Most notably,
young girls.
Right.
Of course, it’s going to be creepy little girls.
Why is that?
Well, poltergeists are commonly summoned
by young girls who are hitting puberty.
The argument is that
young girls have
hormonal fluctuations,
sexual tension,
repressed anger,
and more.
You know how moths are attracted to light?
Well, it's basically the same thing,
but poltergeists are attracted
to people with unresolved emotional stress.
So, in light of our lives
turning into a real-life horror movie,
we’re thankful to say that
there is no scientific evidence
that poltergeists exist.
But that hasn’t stopped
45% of people in the United States
from believing in ghosts,
(Freaking out)
demons,
and other supernatural beings.
"Holy crap!"
So, if we keep looking,
who knows what we might find?
And if poltergeists are real,
well, that opens up a whole new world
of spectral speculation.
What if all ghosts are real?
Well, that’s a story for another WHAT IF.