We’ve all been there. You’re swiping through tinder and then you see a familiar face. Maybe
it’s a friend, someone from work, or a guy you always see on the bus. You’ve always
thought he was cute but never got a chance to get to know him in that way. So you think,
what the hell, and swipe right. And you match!
It feels amazing--“Oh my god, he likes me too!”--for about two seconds. Then you think,
oh no. What do I do? Does he remember me? Is this going to make the bus, or the bar,
or the coffeeshop really awkward? Don’t worry. I’ll talk you through this.
Hi, I’m relationship coach and dating expert Amy North. I’ve been helping women find
the love they deserve for as long as I’ve been wearing long pants. I’m here with the
tips you need to get the man you want. Let’s get into it.
Tinder is supposed to be for meeting new people, but it can also be a way to connect with people
you already know. In fact, some of the best relationships start this way.
Even if he likes you and wants to ask you out, many guys won’t even flirt with girls
they know in real life. Many guys don’t want to make girls uncomfortable or risk being
shut down by getting too familiar with friends or even friends of friends. And it’s not
always easy to know if there’s mutual attraction and if you’re both single and looking.
In fact there are plenty of people who only date people they meet off tinder to minimize
the risk of rejection and embarrassment or to avoid being skeezy. So for the right guy,
this match can act as a sort of green light to ask you out. How great is that?
If you’re not interested, or you decide you don’t want to risk an awkward date leading
to an awkward monday morning meeting, then don’t worry about it. Chances are he won’t
give it a second thought. If he does message you then just explain that you think he’s
cute but you don’t want to date someone you work with. This is something guys definitely
understand.
But if you are interested in moving forward, what do you do next?
There are a few options here. You can wait for him to message you first.
This can be a good strategy. If you like a guy who is confident and take charge then
you don’t want to be the one to make the first move. I don’t think I have to tell
you how to wait but I will tell you to do your best to simply forget it ever happened.
Don’t stress if he doesn’t say anything to you. You can even wait to run into him
and enjoy the sexual tension in the air now that you share this secret.
Send him a text
If you have his number then this is a great way to say “I’m more than just a tinder
match”. If you don’t have something funny to say then try to make your first message
a question that seems genuine and interesting. You’re trying to spark conversation. What
it’s about doesn’t really matter. Even if you message him about his dental records,
if you reach out to him a couple days after you match on Tinder, he’s going to get the
message that you’re interested.
Drawing a blank? I’ve got the answer. My free video presentation gives you the tools
you need to learn to send the texts that guys want to get. You’ll have him checking his
phone every two seconds, waiting to hear from you. Go to AttractionTexts.com to learn more
about this simple but powerful technique.
An obvious option is to send him a tinder message
There are a few things you should keep in mind. I’d go for the message right away
rather than waiting. The instant message will convey that this isn’t a big deal for you
and that you think the whole thing is funny. Start with a joke, or a reference to something
you know about him in real life. Even just a simple “lol” can be a great move. It
shows him that you’re aware that this is a bit awkward and that that doesn’t bother
you.
Here are a few other messages you can start off with:
Come here often? You’re way cuter in person
You’ve got to put a picture of your car/dog/bike/house/hobby on there. That’ll get you way more girls
Laughing emoji
From then, all you need to do is keep the conversation going. Don’t let it just be
a one off.
Keep things going for at least five messages back and forth to show him you’re interested
and then let him keep the ball rolling.
Trust me when I say this is a great way to start off a relationship with a guy. It’s
got all the benefits of falling for a friend and with the best aspect of tinder: a clear
indication of attraction.
Plus it gives you an easy way to lie about how you met if you’re into that kind of
thing. So what if you two talk on tinder and it never
goes anywhere or he turns out to be not as cool and funny as you once thought? Whatever
the case, this near miss can lead to some real weird feelings the next time you two
run into one another. Here’s how to handle it.
First off, don’t avoid him. Say hello when you see him and stop for a quick chat, the
way you would with someone you knew from way back but weren’t particularly close to.
You don’t have to talk for an hour but be polite and if he lingers too long then tell
him you have to go. That’s usually all it takes to reset the relationship and get things
back into neutral.
Whatever happens, it can be interesting to see someone you know one way in a different
context. Even if you’re not a good match, it’s good practice to consider more people
romantically. You’ll be surprised at how many options you really have.
Stuck in a dating slump? Can’t seem to get the guys you like to notice you? Go to coachnorth.com
right now to break the cycle and get the man you want to hold you in his arms.
There you have it ladies. That’s how to deal with the complex but common situation
of matching on tinder with someone you know in real life.
If you liked this video, please ‘like’ this video. And leave your praise and hatemail
in the comments below, as always….
Thanks for watching, bye!