[Disclaimer read by Krillin]
[Please keep these captions clean for those who need them. Funny extras can be added to the English (Canada) subs. Thank you!]
KRILLIN: Whew! Alright, how was that?
[Buzzer]
LANIPATOR: That was perfect, Krillin. Uh, don't worry about your check; we'll send it to your next-of-kin.
KRILLIN: ...What?
GOHAN: That last attack drained all of his energy. We gotta help him!
KRILLIN: You're right, Gohan. It's time to get in there and throw down!
GOHAN: Really, Krillin?
KRILLIN: Ha ha! F**k no!
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
GOKU: (Gurgling underwater)
(Coughing)
FREEZA: Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey?
GOKU: (Coughs)
Ah! Ooh! Gah! Guh! Oh! Sunofa--!
YAMCHA: You know what? This is totally bogus.
TENSHINHAN: I'm going to do my best to ignore that you just used the word "bogus".
YAMCHA: King Kai hasn't taught us *crap* since we got here.
And what's worse - Piccolo didn't even have to train with us. He just sat and meditated all the time.
TENSHINHAN: You're just jealous.
YAMCHA: No I'm no--!
Okay a little.
RECOOME [off-screen, distant]: RECOOOOOOMMEE...
CHIAOTZU: Hey, do you guys hear that?
RECOOME: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVEEE!
RECOOME [muffled]: Hello!
BOJACK [muffled]: Yargh!
BURTER: I've got his left leg!
JEICE: I've got his right!
GULDO: I've got his middle!
RECOOME: Hey. What's up?
TENSHINHAN: Ssso, are you guys--?
GULDO: We'reunderattack!
BURTER: Whoa, a little quick to the trigger there, ace.
GULDO: Sorry, I kind of lost my head there after I... lost my head.
KING KAI: Hey, I was just inside, takin' a crap. I'm old, it takes me a while. I come out, and there's a tree in my living room. What's up?
YAMCHA: We were just standing around and talking about your awesome traIning, and then these guys showed up.
CHIAOTZU: Look like a bunch of queers.
TENSHINHAN: Chiaotzu! We don't even know them. You shouldn't make such rash judgements abou--
GINYU FORCE: ♪ TOKUSENTAI! ♪
TENSHINHAN: ...well, we shouldn't think less of them for it.
JEICE: G'day, mates! How ya goin'?
We're here to take control of your planet in the name of Lord Freeza! Sorry about that.
KING KAI: Ha, ha ha! Ah yeah, good luck with that.
Alright guys, show 'em who's boss.
TENSHINHAN: That'd be you.
YAMCHA: Yep, all you man!
CHIAOTZU: You're the boss!
KING KAI: WHAT?!
RECOOME: What? Recoome has to fight *this*? He doesn't even come up to Recoome's knee caps!
JEICE: Prolly can't even 'andle a gut full o' piss!
BURTER: I'll bet you can't even run a mile!
GULDO: YOU'RE BLUE!
KING KAI: Yeah, all of you can just go straight to Hell.
RECOOME: Oh yeah? And who's gonna make Recoome?
[Singing in German]
GOZ: Meeez! We have visitoooors!
Prepare ze camps!
KING KAI: Well, that takes care of that. Hm, that reminds me - wonder how Goku's doing.
That's about right.
GOKU: No... I... can't lose.
I have to beat you.
You're evil, and you have to be stopped.
FREEZA: Oh, come now. If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then let God strike me down where I stand!
Ha! Nice try, jackass. Next time, give it your A-game! Anyway, back to f--
...What are you doing?
GOKU: 'Have to use the Spirit Bomb. It's my only chance!'
FREEZA: Seriously, what... what is this all about? A-are you trying to tell me you once caught a fish that big?
GOKU: I'm just... stretchin'.
FREEZA [skeptical]: In the middle of a fight...
GOKU: Yes.
'I have only one chance... but this planet barely has enough energy left as it is...'
'Wait! I'll just draw from the surrounding planets!'
PICCOLO: What's going on? He's just standing there with his hands up.
KRILLIN: 'Wait a second...'
HE'S USING THE [distant] SPIRIT BOMB!
FREEZA: The Spirit-what's-it-now?
GOKU: 'Aw, no...'
PICCOLO: Would you stop screami--?
KRILLIN: THE SPIRIT BOMB IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN [distant] KILL FREEZA!
PICCOLO [o-s, distant]: SHUT UP!
KRILLIN [o-s, distant]: Too scared!
PICCOLO [o-s, distant]: Dammit!
FREEZA: What is that fool yammering on about?
GOKU: He's talking about... ghosts.
FREEZA [unconvinced]: "Ghosts".
GOKU: Yeah, you know... spirits... ghosts...
FREEZA: What do ghosts have to do with this?
GOKU: Everything.
FREEZA: That's stupid! You're stupid! STOP BEING STUPID!
GOKU: Ooor... maybe I'm just being rhetorical.
FREEZA: *No*! No, you're *not*! God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter.
GOKU: Huh! Well, now you're just acting transcendent.
FREEZA: HRRR!
GOKU: AAAAGH!
KRILLIN: Oh no! If Goku can't focus on the Spirit Bomb, he doesn't stand a chance!
PICCOLO: I think the issue is *less* about him focusing, and more about *staying alive*.
KRILLIN: I don't get it though, where's the ba--
a-a-aaaa-HOLY BALLS!
GOHAN: Wow! Is that... the Spirit Bomb?
PICCOLO: It's massive!
KRILLIN: OH, MY GOD! THAT THING'S GIGANTIC! IT'S GONNA KILL FREEZA FOR SU--!
PICCOLO: SHUT UP! KRILLIN: OH, MY GOD! THAT THING'S GIGANTIC! IT'S GONNA KILL FREEZA FOR SU--!
{SMACK} KRILLIN: AH A-HA!
FREEZA: HEEEYA!
GOKU: AH!
FREEZA: There you are again! Throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care.
CARE, DAMMIT!
GOKU: AAAAGH!
PICCOLO: Dammit, this is bad...!
GOHAN: Dad!
GOKU: (Breathing hard)
FREEZA: I believe I'm done.
As entertaining a punching bag you make, I find there is no more enjoyment to be found here.
GOKU: Wait! We could always play a game of 20 Questions.
FREEZA: Alright, then. First question:
Are you about to die?
GOKU: No.
FREEZA: Uh-uh-uh. *No lying.*
GOKU: Damn!
FREEZA: Say goodbye, monkey--
aahauhh!
Wh-what... what is that glare?
That's not a sun.
That's not a sun. I-It's not a moon
That's not a sun. I-It's not a moon and it's certainly not a space station--
That's not a sun. I-It's not a moon and it's certainly not a space station-- What is that?
That's not a sun. I-It's not a moon and it's certainly not a space station-- What is that? What... is... that--
That's not a sun. I-It's not a moon and it's certainly not a space station-- What is that? What... is... that-- WHAT IS THAT?!
GOKU: Are we still playing 20 Questions?
FREEZA: You were planning on using that on me, weren't you?!
GOKU: Yeah...
FREEZA: I don't know where you got that much power from, but it doesn't really matter now, does it?
GOKU: Errh!
IYAGH!
Aw, nuts...!
FREEZA: Looks like that whole "Super Saiyan" thing didn't pan out after all.
GOKU: IYUHH!
FREEZA: When you see Vegeta, tell him I said, "Like a bitch."
What the--
What the-- FUUUUUUUUUU...?!
{BOOM}
GOKU: Piccolo? What are you doing here-?
PICCOLO: No talk time. Plan now!
GOKU: Well, I still got the Spirit Bomb, but I need both arms to charge it.
You'll have to distract him while I gather energy.
PICCOLO: Well, that's not so ba--
GOKU: For five minutes. And, considering how bad he was kicking my butt...
eh, I'm sure you can handle it.
PICCOLO [shocked]: Did... you just hold a grudge??
FREEZA: AND I JUST KEEP GETTING REMINDED OF MY FAILURES!
PICCOLO: You mean your failure at killing me, or just in general?
FREEZA: EURGGH!
PICCOLO: (Various grunts of pain)
PICCOLO: (Various grunts of pain) GOKU: ♪ 'Mahna dada, do do do-do do' ♪
PICCOLO: (Various grunts of pain) GOKU: '...'
PICCOLO: (Various grunts of pain) GOKU: ♪ 'Mahna Mahna, do do-do do' ♪
PICCOLO: (Various grunts of pain) GOKU: '...'
PICCOLO: (Various grunts of pain) GOKU: ♪ 'Mahna Mahna, do do de-de-de' ♪
PICCOLO: Ah, no, no, no, no... ah-- oh God, my glubok! GOKU: ♪ 'Mahna Mahna, do do de-de-de' ♪
PICCOLO: Ah, no, no, no, no... ah-- oh God, my glubok! GOKU: ♪ 'De-de-de, de-de-de, de-do-do' ♪
PICCOLO: Ah, no, no, no, no... ah-- oh God, my glubok! GOKU: ♪ 'I'ma chargin’ my attack...' ♪
PICCOLO: ARGH-YEGH!
FREEZA: You know, I think I have an insta-fix for this situation.
I'm going to blow you and this whole miserable planet to *nothing*!
ISN'T THAT FUN?!
(Unhinged laughter)
PICCOLO: G...Goku, just throw the damn thing!
GOKU: Can't. Not done yet.
PICCOLO: What? How?!
GOKU: It's only been 4 minutes and 58--
{DING}
Done!
FREEZA: Wha? Oh... somehow I *completely* forgot about that.
SPIRIT BOMB: OMNOMNOM!
FREEZA: Oh my God!
(Grunting in vain)
'If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake...'
'it's that I'm dying.'
TIAAAAAAHHHHHH...!!
KRILLIN: (Coughing)
GOHAN: Krillin! You're okay!
KRILLIN: I think I swallowed a trout!
So... Gohan... think he's dead?
GOHAN: Krillin, right now I'm more worried about my Dad.
KRILLIN: Who do you think I was talking about?
GOHAN: (Gasp)... Krillin, look!
PICCOLO: (Grunt)... 'Alright, come on, you heavy bastard...! No, no one actually help me, that would a little too much...!'
GOKU: (Gasps for air, then breathes regularly)
GOHAN: They're both alive!
KRILLIN: Nnneat!
GOKU: Grandpa... I don't want any more baths today... I'm clean now...
GOHAN: Dad!
GOKU: Hey, Gohan!
GOHAN: (Joyful, relieved laughter)
KRILLIN: You know, I gotta admit - after what happened with Vegeta, I was pretty sure the Spirit Bomb was gonna be a dud.
GOHAN: But we showed him what for.
GOKU: Yeah. You could say he suffered a bad case of...
Freezer burn.
ALL: (Laughing)
KRILLIN: (Horrified gasp)
FREEZA: By the way...
FREEZA: By the way... not dead.
FREEZA: By the way... not dead. Kthx
FREEZA: By the way...not dead. KthxDIE!
PICCOLO: BLEUGH-CK!
Fffffff**k... you...
[Dramatic, mournful music]
GOHAN: No...
GOHAN: No... *no*...
GOHAN: No... *no*... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
[Music cuts-off] KRILLIN: Whoa, for a moment there I thought that was gonna be me.
KRILLIN: Whoa, for a moment there I thought that was gonna be me.
FREEZA: Oh ho ho...
FREEZA: Oh ho ho... you're next.
KRILLIN: Wait, what did I do to you?!
FREEZA: Remember my TAIL?!
KRILLIN: Can't you take a joke?
WAH!
WAH! WAH!
WAH! WAH! WAH!
WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH!
WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WA--!
{BOOOOM}
{DING}
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]
MR. POPO: Called it.