• What piece of playground equipment basically looks like a human centipede?
What’s the deal with inflatable playgrounds looking like they’re birthing children?
Here are 10 of the most bizarre, and inappropriate playground encounters ever.
10 – Pikachu Bounce House • The problem with having a giant character
as a bouncy house is that you have to have a place to get in and out.
• And that entrance, naturally, is at the bottom, either in the front or the back.
• And that’s why it looks like hordes of kids are climbing in and out of a giant
inflatable Pikachu’s vagina.
• This isn’t a mistake: this is just how they make them.
It’s so normalized, in fact, that a Pikachu bounce house – with the anatomical entrance
and everything – showed up in an episode of the Pokemon animated series.
9 – Monkey Head Playground • So the first thing you’re going to notice
about this playground is that there are monkey heads all over the place.
• But look closer – EVERYTHING about this playground is a nightmare.
The single swing looks like the most uncomfortable thing you could possibly sit on that doesn’t
involve spikes.
• The double swing is crooked and looks like it will fall apart if someone breathes
on it wrong.
• Basically, the whole set is so jank, it looks like it would actually kill monkeys
if they tried to play on it.
So maybe it’s cautionary?
8 – Penis Rock Wall • Yeah, so let’s just put this out front
– this definitely looks like a penis.
• The shape, the angle, even the COLOR.
Did nobody see this and think that it could make use a redesign?
Maybe paint it grey or something less suggestive.
• But never mind that.
It’s hard to tell from the picture, but how tall is this thing, actually?
It can’t be more than 10 feet tall or so, right?
That’s not much of a climb.
• If it’s for kids, that height is fine, but what kind of playground has a 10-foot
penis for kids to climb up on and then fall off of?
7 – Elephant Poop Chute • In Tel Aviv, Israel, there is a huge shopping
mall with a kids’ play area.
And in that play area, there is a slide built into a giant fiberglass elephant.
• Kids climb up the front, underneath the trunk, about where the elephant’s mouth
would be.
• Then they travel through to the other end of the elephant, and slide out of a chute
that looks to be coming directly out of its ass.
• The kids excitedly run around to the front to go again, and the parents start thinking
of ways to talk to their kids about how digestion works.
6 – Mouse Trap • This is a hyper-realistic mouse trap,
blown up to human-sized proportions.
It even comes complete with a dead mouse with it’s neck twisted and pinned under the trap’s
lever.
• But…
why though?
What possible reason could there be for putting a giant dead mouse on a playground?
It’s not even like a toy with some kind of function.
• It’s just…
there.
Like whoever designed the playground thought it would be a nice, pleasant decoration to
have around playing children.
5 – Peeing Colors • In Kiev, Ukraine, a collection of four
statues peeing a rainbow of colors appeared in a park for no apparent reason.
• It’s not known who the artist is, or who actually decided it would be a good idea
to put there.
But it’s there just the same.
• And as you might expect, these urinating statues frequently get vandalized with phallic
drawings.
• So that means, someone looks at these statues and says, “you know what?
I don’t think these things do a good enough job of making me think about penises yet.
I should really fix that.”
4 – Human (and Animal) Centipede • Much like the mouse trap from earlier,
it’s hard to say what you’re even actually supposed to do with this structure.
Like, how do you actually play with this?
• It honestly has more in common with some sort of creepy modern art piece than a playground
structure.
• It would be easier to overlook if not for the disturbing level of detail.
Each muscle is sculpted, and the pole just goes right through the gaping mouths of the
two nude men, the dog, and the… giant iguana?
• Also, why that specific collection of creatures?
Just…
why is any of this happening?
3 - Leapfrog • This is a structure you’ll find at most
of the playgrounds in South Korea.
And it’s fitting that this comes right after the human centipede-like playground structure
because… well, just look at it.
• Believe it or not, there is actually a good explanation for this one… though it
may not make it any less weird.
• This is a Korean game in which kids stand like this, sort of like a big horse, and then
other kids try to leapfrog the line and land on each of the kids’ backs.
• So it’s kind of like leapfrog, except that you’re supposed to land ON someone
instead of jump OVER them.
• So with this, kids can play this game by themselves on the playground, and land
with a hard fiberglass statue between their legs.
2 – Pork Breasts • There’s a lot going on here.
This appears to be some kind of boat ride?
But the water looks almost green.
• In the background, is that supposed to be a giant rose bud or some kind of fruit?
• And then there’s the pig.
It’s wearing a blue robe that covers everything except for his giant breasts and brown nipples.
He even has a tie to come down and draw attention to them.
• And… is that a walkie-talkie on its hip?
Like he’s a park attendant that’s going to call for help if someone falls off the
boat?
1 – Dick Slide • People once thought they could make a
long, inflatable shaft with a split at the end where kids come out, and everything would
be fine.
• Those people were wrong, and so they inadvertently created this giant inflatable dick slide.
• What is the deal with inflatable playground equipment always looking like genitals?
• They figured out the bouncy castle decades ago.
Why not just stick with that?