But I've felt pretty good the past few months,
I thought I was improving, but I've just crashed recently.
Hi. We just talk on the computer and play games together,
but it's more than that. It's a real friendship.
We're going to go all around Europe with an Interrail ticket.
I think everyone would really benefit from it mentally.
We all have completely separate personalities.
I suffer with depression. I had a psychotic episode.
ADHD is like... I go to counselling.
And that's why we were brought together.
Action.
I can't believe we're in...Amsterdam.
Right, where's the...?
Oh, my God, it's fucking beautiful!
In Amsterdam, they were, like, yeah, yeah,
we don't want you smoking and stuff, so...
But it's been kind of hard, with the temptations.
THEY CHUCKLE
I can't believe we got kicked out the hostel.
Yeah.
Oh, dammit. Oh...
Guys... Damn... I know.
Amster-damn!
Are we going to go to the red light district, or go get a hostel?
We missed our first train
and we just got kicked out of our hostel.
We're not sort of doing this whole Interrailing thing very effectively.
We're just sort of looking for another place.
Cut.
ONLINE CHAT: Do you mind going on that at all?
Yeah, yeah, sure. Cheers, man.
At home, I usually just talk to these guys
cos they have a lot more in common with me.
Cos they don't judge me for what I look like, or what I act like.
They take me for who I am.
ONLINE CHAT: ...I thought the film was about friendship!
You know, cos that's all they can judge me on...which is nice.
So I've never met Owen, so we don't actually get that
opportunity to really interact face-to-face.
I can definitely, like, open up to them, but, like, I sort of
feel like you have to get someone in the group, like, on the right day.
Cos, like, a lot of the time, like, there's so much joking,
I don't know if, like, I'd always be taken seriously.
ONLINE CHAT: What is this banana thing?!
Stan, if you suffer from depression, a banana will help.
Shut up, Stan.
You're not even in the game!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Woo!
INDISTINCT YELLING
Jack, how are you feeling about it? What do you expect?
Generally, or about the trip? About the trip.
Um... THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER
DRAMATICALLY: I'm really depressed!
It will be nice, like, to spend time with all you guys.
It will. I mean... However soppy and disgusting that sounds, but...
I don't know. It's kind of nice.
Cos we're men and we're afraid of emotion.
THEY LAUGH
But, yeah, I'm actually really looking forward to it, to be fair.
Yeah?
Yeah? I don't suppose...
You know, I've never really listened to Drake or Kendrick Lamar.
You'll like this.
This isn't like pop stuff. This is his mellow stuff.
It's a nice flow.
The same kind of flow as... everyone walking along.
And it's kind of, it's a mellow kind of tone,
just kind of going with the nice evening set.
THEY SING IN UNISON
THEY IMITATE BEAT
You're, like, so autistic. Yeah, like, honestly, end my life.
Oh... Oh, end your life!
Oh! I think you actually have to have a life.
Oh! Oh! A self-burn!
What a savage par.
Don't self harm. Oh! Oh, my God.
I feel like there's going to be this gap in the film
where it's just going to be, like,
"What did they do whilst they were in Amsterdam?"
And just, like, everyone knows.
It's pretty lit. Pretty lit!
I find it so, so difficult to give someone my trust.
I really do wish that I could be that close to someone
and I could open up to that point.
It's quite depressing because it makes me think
that I'll never have a true friendship like that
cos I just can't allow myself to do that.
Ideally, I'd like to be able to, you know, just spend time with
someone and then, because of that, naturally be able to trust them.
But it's not that simple.
And action.
How are you enjoying the trip, man? So, it's pretty chill. Yeah?
Yeah.
I'm getting a bit emotional. Fucking hell.
Are you? Yeah. Come here.
You know, the boys are always here for you, too, man.
Yeah, I'm just... I'm not really open about how I feel a lot. Yeah.
So I just pile it up. Yeah. Yeah.
I used to be like that so much, man.
Like, I'd just hide everything away,
and, like, you know, it's not worth it
cos you end up just getting to a point where you just break.
It's really not good for you. Yeah.
I don't really like thinking about my future.
Yeah? At all.
Yeah. Cos, like, I don't think I'd really get that far.
No, I'm sure... Cos I didn't really plan for it.
I am sure you're going to go places, man.
I've just been, like, such a heartless prick.
And I can't really explain my motives to anyone.
The more you try and explain yourself, the...
More complicated it gets. ..the more complicated it gets.
And, like, a lot of people just don't understand.
Like, people don't know where you're from or what you've been through...
No. ..or, like, who you are, really.
Like, the only person who really knows you is, like, yourself
and your mum...
..like, and maybe your dad, like... Yeah.
Like, I know not really our dads, but, like...
No, it's good, man.
I'm so happy that you feel safe enough with me.
Of course I do. You're one of my best friends.
I love you, man. I love you too.
But, yeah...
Cut.
How long till the train comes?
It comes at 7:15, and then we don't get off it until six in the morning.
Yo' boy don't need no sleep!
Make sure you get this on film. Watch this.
Hey, Stan, what's over there? Um...
I got him! ..can't quite tell. I got him good!
Oh! Oh!
Are you violating our friend?
It's been so long since we washed our hands as well.
Like...that was actually fucking disgusting.
Do you mind being filmed?
I don't care.
So, you might be famous one day cos you're in our film.
I don't want to be famous. Why not? No...
Sam with a girl,
and he's doing pretty good.
Cut.
Sorry.
Because I'd had this detachment from my personality,
the trip was like the first proper social interaction in seven months.
It was pretty hard in a way,
the transition from online to real life,
cos, like, you're plunging yourself into the deep end,
you have no idea what to expect.
I had a lot of anxiety around social situations.