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- Small talk is a way for two people
who don't know each other to have a conversation.
So, it's not a deep conversation
but it can lead into a deeper
and more meaningful conversation
once you have established some type
of small talk discussion.
So this lesson is going to give you phrases
that you can use to engage in small talk
with English speakers so you can get more practice
and also so you can overcome your fear of speaking.
Now, when you meet somebody new, people often ask
similar questions, again and again.
And a lot of this does depend on the situation
that you are in, but once they know you
and once they want to know what you do,
where you're from, et cetera,
then you'll find yourself answering
the same questions again and again.
So it makes sense to practice this area of English
so you can answer these questions
in an effortless way.
Now, this lesson is going to be split up
into two parts.
Firstly, we're going to look at different situations
where small talk is often used,
and then we are actually going to look
at different topics that you can use
when engaging in small talk.
And what I also recommend that you do
is check out the description
because there'll be a list of phrases
that we have used in this lesson.
Before we get started I do want to introduce
a really cool phrase here,
because before engaging in small talk
you might have to break the ice, to break the ice.
Now, a lot of you might know what this means.
If you don't, it's when nobody is speaking
in a certain situation
and then that first person says something,
this is breaking the ice.
So I imagine you could think of a situation
where you're in a group of people
and nobody is talking
and then suddenly, somebody says something
and then a discussion gets going.
So, it's a good idea to break the ice
before engaging in small talk.
And a very simple way to do this is to simply say,
hi, I'm Jack, or hi, I'm Claire, whatever name
that you have.
Okay, let's start with a situation in which small talk
is often used, and this is a fun one
because you're now at a wedding.
Okay, so you're at John and Sarah's wedding
and you're sitting around a table
and you don't know anybody there.
Usually, it's quite quiet.
Nobody says anything until somebody says
hi, I'm Jack, and you have broken the ice
and now it's time to engage in small talk.
I think the number one question to ask here
is, how do you know John and Sarah?
How do you know John and Sarah?
This is common ground, or what is known
as common ground, where you have something in common.
You both know the bride and groom
but you don't know how you know the bride and groom,
so you can ask, how do you know John and Sarah?
If somebody asks you this, you can say, oh,
I know them from school, I know them from work,
I grew up with John, I've met Sarah recently.
So that's a very common question to ask
at a wedding, and it's good to think about
what kind of answer you're going to give
if you are in this situation.
Another question that people ask
in this situation is, where have you traveled from?
Where have you traveled from?
Because when people go to a wedding, they usually travel
from across the country
and sometimes from different countries.
So you can just ask, where have you traveled from?
And again, this might lead
into a more meaningful conversation.
If the person has traveled from a different city
or country, or if it's a destination wedding,
you can ask them, have you been here before?
Have you been to Sydney before?
Have you been to Asheville before?
And then again this leads into a conversation
about travel, about different topics.
For the second situation, let's imagine
that you work for a company with a thousand employees,
all from different branches,
and then your company puts on an event,
let's say its a Christmas party just before Christmas,
and you turn up to this event and you don't know
a lot of people, so again you break the ice
and say hi, I'm Jack, and then you can say,
which branch do you work at?
Which branch do you work at?
Again, it's a very simple question
that leads into a different type of discussion.
Or, you can say, what do you do at this company?
What do you do at this company?
To establish some common ground, you might ask
if this person knows somebody who you also know
so that you can talk about this person
and understand that you both share something in common.
And then from there you can just describe the situation
in which you are in, like you can say,
this has been such a good event.
Are you having fun too?
Or, this food is amazing.
I'm surprised it's so good.
This is small talk that leads
into different types of conversations.
The next example is if you are at a party.
So, imagine you have been invited
to a house party where you are celebrating
a birthday, and you turn up to the party,
and again, you don't really know anybody.
And I have to say at this point,
this can sometimes be really awkward
where you don't know anybody at a party
and if other people seem to know other people
it might be difficult for you to fit in.
But this is where small talk can help you.
So, you can say things like,
this chili is delicious,
or these burgers are amazing.
So, you can talk about the food and give your opinion
on the food, or you can ask again,
how do you know John and Sarah?
Or, how do you know Paul, whose birthday party it is?
How do you know Paul?
This just leads into different topics.
And then another thing that people do
and I think this is specific to women, from my experience,
is to compliment somebody on their dress,
on their purse, on their shoes, et cetera,
but something that you can compliment anyone on
is the house.
Oh, your house is great.
I love this house.
You have a beautiful backyard.
Just to give compliments to make people
a little bit more at ease.
So, those are some situations where small talk
is often used.
But, it's also good to know the type of topics
that people use when engaging in small talk
no matter the situation.
And the number one thing to talk about is weather, okay.
The weather, and saying things like,
oh, it's so hot outside today.
So, you're at a party, you don't know anyone,
you come in, it's so hot out there.
It feels great in here.
Or, once you start talking a little more
about the weather, it's gonna cool down soon,
it's gonna get really hot next week.
Now, I made a video on different phrases
that you can use to talk about temperature,
so go check that out,
because it's going to be very useful
for any type of situation.
Another topic that people like to discuss
is the news.
Now, be a little bit careful here
because there are certain news stories
that are very divisive, where people feel very emotional
about and they have strong opinions about.
Usually that comes on a little bit later
than small talk, but there are certain news stories
that are fun to talk about.
For example, I remember engaging in small talk
and saying did you hear about the bear
that got into a woman's car in North Asheville?
So, there's this story of where a bear opened
the car door and got into the car
and somebody took a picture of it
so it's a fun story to talk about
that actually leads into a further discussion
about bears, how prevalent they are right now,
and just how amazing it is to live among bears
in your neighborhood.
So, certain news stories are worth talking about
and aren't as divisive as others.
You can just say simply, like, what building
are they constructing across the road?
Or, have you been to that new restaurant in town?
All these little local news stories
can help you engage in small talk.
Another common topic is sports.
So it might depend on the person
if you can actually talk about sports,
but just to give you an example,
when people know I'm from the UK they'll often ask me
about football or soccer
and ask me which team I support.
So they know people from the UK love football,
luckily I love football so I can always answer
in a positive way, so they ask questions about that.
So just, for example, which team do you follow,
which team do you support?
If I say I live near Manchester people often ask me,
oh, do you follow Manchester City or Manchester United.
And that's when I tell them, no, I support
Preston North End and they don't know
who Preston North End are, but!
Again, this is a way to talk
about different types of things.
And sports can be a little bit tricky like I said
because you don't know if that person
is a sports fan or not,
but if they are wearing a sports cap,
if they just seem to be a sports person
then you can ask them about teams they support,
what kind of sports they like,
if they watched the Super Bowl,
so a sort of simple question is,
did you watch the Super Bowl last night?
Did you watch the Super Bowl last week?
And then, if you're a sports fan you can actually get
into a great discussion about sports
once you've engaged in that initial smalltalk.
So, in summary there are various phrases that you can use
to engage in small talk with somebody,
and again the key is just so that
it's just a great way to start a conversation with somebody.
It's like a rule to follow,
like certain rules to follow,
where you just don't go up to somebody
you don't know and ask them if they believe in God
and get into a deep discussion straight away.
Instead, you want to ask certain questions
and see if you can find some common ground
with this person.
So, it could be sports, it just could be
certain news stories, you don't know
where it might lead.
You might ask them a question about the weather
and then talk about how you both lived in Spain
and it was so hot while you lived there.
And then you have something in common and this, again,
leads to a great discussion.
So, use small talk as a tool, but remember
you'll need to break the ice first as well.
Now, if you want to internalize these types
of phrases to learn more questions
for small talk, then join the To Fluency Program.
I have a lot of phrases that you can download
and memory cards that you can use
so that you can internalize these phrases
and so that you can learn grammar
at the same time and build your fluency
so that when you are talking with people,
these types of questions and answers will just
come out effortlessly.
So, definitely check out the To Fluency Program
if you want to learn more about that.
Thank you for watching this lesson,
please like and share it,
and while you're here,
take a look at another one of my lessons.
Okay, bye for now.
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