So...you've got an STD. Guess what?
So do lots of other people.
Half of all people will get an STD at some point in their life.
Seriously. Not kidding—half.
It's ok.
The point is lots of people deal with this stuff.
And guess what—their lives are not over.
And their sex lives aren't over either.
Getting an STD doesn't make you dirty or a bad person.
You can totally live in normal, healthy life even if you have an STD.
Some STDs can be easily cured with antibiotics and
some can be managed over time with treatment.
Telling someone you have an STD might seem scary, but it's important that you do.
You can totally do this.
It might be tempting to avoid a tough conversation with
an ex or casual hook up.
But think about how you'd feel
if the situation were reversed.
Wouldn't you want to know?
And you'll feel much better in the long run
because you did the right thing.
But what if you have an STD that is incurable?
That's more complicated, but you can still handle this.
I need to talk to you about something
What's up?
So...I...
really care about you.
And I know we both want to take things further.
Yeah.
But before we do that I have to be honest with you.
It's kind of hard for me to talk about—not everybody gets it.
So I'm just going to say it.
I have HIV.
Oh.
Wow.
Ok, I wasn't expecting that.
I know it sounds bad and a lot of people
are really scared of HIV, but really it's not like that.
I'm on meds. I'm healthy.
When did you get it?
I found out about it about a year ago,
but I don't know who I got it from or
how long I've had it.
There was a time in my life where I just wasn't using condoms.
So...does that mean we can't ever have sex?
No. Not at all—there are things we can do to be safer.
But we can have a totally normal
relationship, and you can stay healthy.
We just have to be careful.
Okay, so we have to use condoms.
But isn't that still really risky for me?
Condoms work really well, yeah.
But we can also talk to my doctor about you using PreP.
What's that?
It's a pill you can take—if you want—that helps
to stop you from getting HIV.
And I'm on meds too, so I'm healthy.
my viral load is low which means I'm less likely
to pass the virus on to you
With meds and condoms the chance of you
getting it are actually incredibly small.
Okay. That's good.
Sorry, this is just a lot for me to take in right now.
I hear that, I know.
But I really care about you too.
And I'm glad you told me.
I just think I'm gonna need some time to process all this.
Totally.
If you want, we can go to my doctor together.
He's super chill. You can ask him anything.
Ok. That sounds like a good idea.
And after and I take you to dinner and a movie?
Yeah, I think we can do that.
See! Doable.
Hard, sure, but totally worth it to have happier relationships
and safe, healthy sex lives.
Oh! Ok wait!
What's wrong?
Um... before we do that I have to tell you something.
Uh-oh...
No, no it's not a big deal.
I...I have herpes.
Wait. What. Seriously?
Yeah, seriously.
Okay sorry, but that is kind of a big deal.
Look, it's not as scary as it seems.
Honestly, the worst part about having
herpes is listening to everybody talk
about it like it's the plague.
Most of us who actually have it know that it's not that bad.
Not that bad? Girl, we're talking sores on your vag.
Well, yeah that part sucks a little but
it was just a couple of small sores.
And you know what?
It went away in a couple days.
I have only had one other outbreak since then and
it wasn't as bad as the first.
Sorry, I'm just processing.
I've never hooked up with anyone with an STD before.
Well, actually you probably have.
STDs are super common.
1 in 6 people have genital herpes, and like everyone has
oral herpes—ever had a cold sore?
Well, yeah, when I was younger.
Well then guess what? You have herpes too.
It's just a different kind.
Wait, for real?
Yeah, welcome to the herpes club!
So...do you have it like right now?
Well, you have it for life, so yeah.
But, I feel fine. I don't have any sores now,
and I haven't had an outbreak in over a year.
Could you still give it to me?
It's possible, but not very likely.
Look, if I feel an outbreak coming on
I'll tell you and we can just take a
break from sex until it goes away.
But, we can also play it even safer and that is why I
keep my treasure chest full.
Whoa, that's quite the supply.
What can I say?
I like to have sex and I like to be safe.
Ok...I think we can make this happen.
We did it!
And nobody died of embarrassment. Nobody's sex life ended.
And now everyone is going to be healthier
and happier because we talked about it.
Communicating honestly is one of the
most important parts of being healthy
and responsible with your sex life.
And you can handle it.
Unless you can't.
And if that's the case, think about
whether you're ready to have sex at all.
Check out our other videos on how to
talk the talk when it comes to sex