- Hey, playa.
Do you wanna learn how to make friends in middle school?
Starting a conversation with other kids can be tough,
especially when you don't know what to talk about
or worse, they think your weird.
Don't worry, though.
There is a way to navigate these tricky situations,
and I'll explain how right after this.
- ♪ This is The Josh Speaks. ♪
♪ You're watching The Josh Speaks. ♪
- Part of the trouble with making new friends
is trying to find something that you
and the other kids can connect over.
Everyone has different interests,
whether it's in video games or movies,
or just other hobbies.
Even if you don't find someone that likes
exactly the same stuff as you,
be open to listening and learning about what they enjoy.
I remember when I was in middle school,
there was a big thing online called Stick Death,
which was a bunch of animated sticks fighting each other.
So one day, I came across a kid
drawing stick figures getting into battles,
and I thought that was the coolest thing ever.
I asked him all about his drawings
and tried to learn more about the drawing process
behind creating stick figures fighting,
and his face just lit up.
He was so happy that someone
had shown interest in his hobby.
It was almost as if no one acknowledged
or talked to him about it before.
And the fact that we connected over something so minimal
allowed us to open up about other things
and eventually become really good friends.
Starting that initial conversation can be hard, though.
Especially when you don't know exactly
what the other kids like.
So the best way to get past that is to ask them.
I've put together a free guide of
20 Ice Breaker Conversation Starters,
which you can use as a way to get closer
and learn more about someone.
But ultimately, what it comes down to
is genuinely showing interest in someone else.
It can be incredibly scary to talk
to another random kid like that.
But with enough practice, you'll learn how
to get into the groove of opening up a conversation.
Eventually, you'll be able to turn
to your classmate and say,
"Hey, let me get your opinion on something.
"What's a good movie to watch in theaters?"
One thing you may be thinking is,
if I'm funnier in class, maybe the kids
will wanna talk to me.
And I just gotta say, taking the class clown route
is a bad idea.
What usually happens with class clowns
is that they become the dancing monkey for everyone else.
You start doing things in class
to potentially get you in trouble
just so that people can laugh,
and when you stop entertaining them, they get bored of you.
Sure, you'll get that short-term praise
and people may even applaud you for being the class clown,
but is that all you ever really wanna be?
It is much more rewarding to be liked
for your true personality and not a fake one.
So be liked for all the right reasons.
You're fun, you're easy to talk to,
and you're an interesting kid with interesting hobbies.
Another area you might wanna explore
is to see what your school offers
for after school activities.
Since we're going back to school now,
chances are schools are gonna be recruiting
for new teams and activities,
so that's the perfect place to meet new people.
Or if you're a gamer, and I know a lot of you guys are,
why not think about starting a gaming club
in your school that other people can join?
You can build that group around a specific game
or system or genre, and then from there
you can do things, like organize tournaments
and leagues, and just co-op play with each other.
Creating a group in school around a specific hobby
will pull kids out of nowhere that have that hobby
but maybe haven't shared it with anyone.
Plus, in creating the group, it makes you look
super confident, because you put it together.
And here is another thing about making friends.
Try not to fall into the peer pressure
of bullying other kids just so
that the cool kids can like you.
It can be easy to find one specific kid
to be the target of everyone's jokes.
And if you see everyone else making fun of them,
you might think by doing it too, they'll accept you.
But please, don't be that kid.
I've been on both sides of the coin.
I've been a bully to others,
and I've been bullied myself.
And at the end of the day, it's just not worth it.
If you find yourself surrounded by negative people
who just also happen to be your friends,
then I would honestly say work on getting new friends.
Try to find people that will inspire positivity
in your life and not take away from the joy of others.
Finally, if you wanna be friends with someone,
it's important to know what a friendship actually entails.
In order to be close to someone, you both have to be
willing to work with each other,
which might mean taking time to listen
to what they have to say and how they feel.
A lotta times we feel like we want people
to always be paying attention to us,
and that's not an equal balance of things.
But don't fall into the type of friendship
where you end up becoming 100% of the caretaker
for someone else.
Friendships are all about give and take.
And once you start a friendship,
try to establish from the very beginning
that you're willing to listen, understand,
and be there for them, and you hope
that they could do the same for you.
What do you think, though?
Are you having trouble making friends in middle school.
Was this advice helpful in any way?
Leave your comments below and we'll talk about it.
I remember when I started the sixth grade,
I had no friends at all.
I would sit and eat lunch by myself, which kinda sucked.
Then eventually, I found the kid who drew stick figures
and I found another kid who liked wrestling.
And from there, I ended up forming a group of friends
who sat together at lunch, and we'd always
talk about wrestling every time it aired on TV.
That's how I started my friend group.
And I know as time goes on, and you start
to learn about more people, you start to share
your interests with them, and you start
to learn about theirs, you'll eventually form
your friend group, too.
Trust me on that.
As always, guys, love and peace.