Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we are going to learn about 7 conversation starters
that work every time. Now, let’s begin.
1. Accessible Information What’s the easiest way to start a conversation
with a complete stranger? Starting a conversation doesn’t have to be difficult or complicated. With
the right strategy, you can talk to anyone at any time. All you have to do… is ask for information.
In other words, ask someone a question you know they can answer. You might ask, “Do you know
what time it is?” or “What’s the name of this venue?” These simple, approachable questions
bridge the gap between you and a stranger, because it gives you a reason to interact.
If you’re asking for the time, the other person perceives you as friendly and non-threatening.
They’re more likely to respond and carry on a conversation, all because you led with a
simple question about the time or the place. So next time you’re searching for the perfect
opener, try not to think so hard. Find someone you want to talk to and open the conversation
with one easy question. It doesn’t matter if you already know the answer to your question. You may
ask the same question to ten different people. The important thing is… you got your foot in the door.
Your question created an opportunity to build a new connection with someone you’ve never met.
In other words, you opened the door; all you have to do now… is walk on through.
2. Starting Small People frequently criticize small talk.
It’s boring, formulaic, repetitive, and bland… but it’s also a useful conversation technique.
If you know how to use it, small talk will be your best friend in any social situation.
Because as boring as small talk can be, it’s difficult to dive right into deeper,
more significant subject matter.
Most of the time, jumping into big talk will make people feel awkward or uncomfortable.
They don’t know you well enough to share personal opinions or values. That’s why you need to open
the conversation in a way that facilitates social chemistry. As you build your rapport,
learning little bits about how the other person talks and acts, you can dive into deeper subjects.
So how do you use small talk to get the conversation rolling?
Small talk is like a funnel. You start with a wide, general subject, then you gradually narrow
down the conversation until you’re talking about something meaningful and specific.
Many successful socialites start their funnel with a vague opener. Subjects like the weather,
the venue, sports, or travel are all topics that anyone will recognize.
But the beauty of these topics is their flexibility. Once you start a conversation
about travel, you can spin that conversation in any direction you want. Experienced
conversationalists will use small talk to lead the other person toward a specific subject.
For example, let’s say you are starting a company overseas, and you want to drum up some business.
How do you insert your company into the conversation smoothly and naturally?
Start by talking about travel. Exchange stories about trips or vacations. Narrow
the subject matter down to one country, then between stories, casually insert your company
into the flow of the conversation. Just like that, you’ve turned small talk into big talk
while connecting with a complete stranger. Pick a subject you want to talk about and
reflect on what general subjects could lead the conversation where you want to go.
You don’t need to rehearse everything you say. But a loose idea turns this useful strategy into
a foolproof plan of action. 3. Discussing Similarities
What if you want to initiate small talk, but you don’t want to talk about anything in particular?
What if you’re more interested in building a connection or a friendship?
You can always kick start a conversation by talking about things you have in common.
Obviously, you don’t know the other person very well. Otherwise you wouldn’t need a conversation
starter. Let’s assume you’re talking to a stranger or maybe an acquaintance you met a long time ago.
How do you find something in common with a person you know nothing about?
Instead of looking for shared interests or goals, think about your general. For example,
you two are standing in the same building. You may be attending the same event or listening
to the same speakers. You might be wearing the same style of shirt or a similar brand of watch.
If you look at surface-level details, you can pinpoint a surprising number of similarities
between you and a complete stranger. Once you’ve found those similarities,
use one or two details to get your conversation going. Talk about the
building or the event. Ask them where they got their shirt or the watch you have in common.
With this strategy, you get people talking. But you also develop an instant connection built upon
commonalities. No matter what you have in common, those similarities will bring you closer together.
4. Asking for Help Let’s talk about a riskier approach
that creates some of the strongest, instant connections between strangers.
To bond with someone in a matter of moments, try asking them for a favor.
But you can’t ask for any favor in the world. If you ask for too much, they may feel uncomfortable,
resentful, or simply annoyed. The key is to shrink your favor down to a simple,
easy task that anyone could do right away. You might ask, “excuse me, could I borrow
a pencil?” or maybe, “could you point me toward the nearest restroom?” These are tiny
favors that require very little effort, but that’s why they work. People are willing to
do tiny favors for complete strangers, and it’s those favors that bond the two of you together.
Why? Because we make physical, mental, and emotional investments in the people we help.
If you lend someone a pencil, you become physically linked to that person. If you direct
someone to the nearest restroom, a little part of you feels responsible for their well-being.
In small, psychological ways, asking for favor forces someone to care about you.
Once that happens, a conversation becomes a whole lot easier.
After doing someone a favor, people will be much more receptive to what you have to say.
And they’ll recognize you as someone familiar. In a crowd full of strangers,
any kind of familiarity, no matter how small, works tremendously in your favor.
5. Offering Services If you don’t want to ask for a favor,
you can stimulate the same connection by offering a favor. Let’s say you see someone who looks lost
or confused. They’re standing in the center of a busy room, trying to figure out where to go.
Most people would mind their own business. That’s why offering your services can create
an instant bond between you and a stranger. You might say, “what are you looking for? Maybe
I can help you,” or “Are you lost? This place can be really confusing.” Both of these approaches
validate the other person’s feelings while lending a helping hand. The other person will
perceive you as empathetic and friendly, because you went out of your way to help their situation.
Not only is this an act of kindness, but it’s a wonderful foundation for any new connection.
Offering your services makes an incredible first impression, while binding the two of you together.
You’ll quickly develop an emotional bond, which leads to conversation and maybe even friendship.
6. Fielding Opinions Have you asked for a stranger’s
opinion? This one sounds intimidating, but it’s actually much easier than it sounds.
To perform this strategy, we’re going to blend a couple tricks we’ve already talked about.
First, you’re going to open the conversation with a question. But not just any question, you want to
ask a harmless, accessible question that anyone can answer. We learned about this strategy at
the beginning of the video, but this strategy serves another person. Asking for someone’s
opinion is similar to asking for help. Not only are you opening the conversation with a simple,
natural question, but you’re solidifying your connection with a favor or investment.
So what kinds of questions achieve both strategies at the same time? If you want someone’s opinion,
don’t ask about appearances or controversial subjects. You shouldn’t pry about their values
or anything that might be sensitive. Instead, focus on universally positive topics like food,
music, or movies. These subjects are harmless and useful in any context. Whether you’re at a
party or a conference, asking for someone’s opinion will get the conversation rolling.
7. Keeping It Simple We’ve talked about several different
openers you can use in different contexts, but there’s one strategy that beats all the others…
and it’s the easiest one on this list. If you want to start a conversation with
anything, walk up and introduce yourself. I know it sounds simple, but the truth is…
most questions and gimmicks are more awkward than you expect. In theory they sound good,
but unless you’re experienced, they can make the conversation uncomfortable in seconds.
So don’t overthink it. Don’t rely on tricks or rehearsed lines. Find someone you want to talk
to. Be confident. And introduce yourself. Before you know it, the conversation will get going,
and the two of you may become fast friends. There is one thing you should keep in mind.
Unlike the other items on this list, this approach doesn’t give you a topic to open the conversation.
Once you say hello, shake hands, and tell someone your name, you have to think of
something to say next. In this situation, try using another one of the strategies on this list.
Ask for their opinion or a small favor. Bring up a general subject for a bit of small talk.
Or find something you two have in common. All of these strategies work well together. One
builds off of the other to create a lively, personable conversation everyone will enjoy.
So don’t be afraid to keep it simple. Make your approach, shake their hand,
and tell them your name. You don’t have to do or say anything complicated. A simple introduction
will almost always do the trick. Thank you for watching TopThink,
and be sure to subscribe, because more incredible content is on the way.