If you plan to have the father of your child with you during labor, drag him in front of your screen
right now and tell him to watch this video together with you. Right. In this video, we are going to tell
the father of your child what NOT to do when you are in labor based on the feedback that we have
received from so many women over the past couple of years. Yes. This is Nathalie, a pregnancy
and birth consultant and TCM therapist, and that’s Mathias a researcher and science geek and
on this channel, we help mommies and their babies naturally and science-based! So, let’s get started.
Okay, so, let us address the father of your baby directly. Hey buddy! Here is a secret. This video
is actually about protecting you during your partner’s delivery so that you get out of there
without any mental or physical harm. You can thank us later, right? So, let’s start with the most important
thing: do not take things personally when your partner is in labor. So, first of all, during
your partner’s delivery, she might call you names. Like, Nathalie called me so many things that I
would not even think about repeating them here on youtube. And not only that. I was hit, repeatedly,
with a water bottle only because I wanted to offer her some water.
And this kept on going for hours and it only stopped once she held that baby in her arms. Yeah. You know
are scaring them off, right? Maybe a little. You know when you are in labor,
it’s like you are in a completely different world. You stop caring about other people’s feelings.
And there are moments when you just don’t want to be touched or spoken at. You just want people to
leave you alone. Sorry, we don’t mean it in a bad way. That’s okay. Those scars are gonna heal
eventually, right? Anyways. The next thing you should not do is rushing to the hospital too early.
As a guy, I totally understand that most guys panic as soon as those contractions start, right?
All you want to do is take your partner to the hospital to sort of hand over the responsibility,
right? The problem though is that if you go there too early, they might send you back home.
And taking your partner back home again just to take her back to the hospital eventually:
let’s just say: it requires good nerves. Yes. A general rule of thumb is to go to the hospital,
once your partner’s contractions come in intervals of 5 minutes if this is your first
baby. If this is not your first baby, it can make sense to go there a bit earlier, like when
contractions come every 6 to 7 minutes. Because in that case, things normally go a bit faster.
But do talk about this with your midwife, okay? Yes. The next thing you should not do is showing
up completely uninformed and without a plan. The problem is that if you show up completely
uninformed about what’s gonna happen during your partner’s delivery, you become more of a burden
instead of being supportive, right? Yes. Many things can happen during a delivery. And when they do,
it does not help when you freak out, right? What does help is when you know what to do
and how you can support your partner in each situation.
Yes. We know a guy who was close to tears when he saw his wife
in pain. But he said that an even bigger problem for him was that he did not know how to help her,
right? Yes. Actually, his wife knew everything about acupressure for pain relief. But the guy’s plan
was that his wife would tell him what to do once she was in labor, right? Yeah. Let’s just say:
that did not work out. You have to prepare before your partner goes into labor. And by the way: at the end of
this video, we are also going to show you two ways how you can support your partner.
during your partner's delivery.
Alright. The next thing you should not do is eating aromatic foods. I am sure you have
already realized that women have a very sensitive nose during their pregnancy. Like, we could sit
in the front of the train. But if someone ate a garlic sandwich at the back of the train,
Nathalie would smell it and complain about it. Well its' disgusting. Maybe it is.
And that sensitivity seems to reach its peak
when a woman is in labor. Definitely. Women cannot stand the smell of super aromatic foods when
they are in labor. So, if you want to avoid being kicked or being called names, then
you better not eat anything super aromatic while your partner is in labor. Exactly. It’s for
your own protection, right? Okay. The next thing not to do is leaving everything to your partner. So,
the problem is that there is a fine line between taking the back seat when your partner is in labor
and speaking up in situations that require you to do so. When Nathalie was in labor,
there was this young, inexperienced doctor who came to visit every now and then. And at some
point, he did not only just leave the door to the labor ward open. He also pulled
back the curtain that was there for a reason, right? So basically, everybody outside had a perfect
view on Nathalie’s… you know. And I instantly realized the look that Nathalie gave him. Like,
I still cannot understand why this guy did not drop dead immediately. Anyways, I told this guy
in a very polite way that he sucks basically. I think, he never came back afterwards, right?
So yes, speak up for your partner if the situation requires it. In every other situation,
just shut up basically, right? Right. The next thing not to do is speak out loud what you see.
This is something that lots of women are afraid of complain about. As we already mentioned,
lots of things can happen during a delivery. For example: when a woman is pushing her baby out,
she might also push out other things. And this is totally normal and no one at the labor ward will
have a problem with that. This should include you, as her partner, right? So, try to be professional
about it. And most importantly, don’t comment on it. Don’t speak out loud what you see, okay? Yeah Not
even after the delivery. Just pretend it never happened, right? It’s for your own safety.
The next thing not to do is to just tell her to breathe. So, this is something that a woman told
us after her delivery, right? She said that her husband basically just stood there and told her “breathe
honey, breathe, breathe”. Man, that’s not helpful. No, it’s not. If you want to help your partner
breathe, you have to breathe together with her or to count for her, depending on what she prefers.
In fact, this is just one example of many other things that you should discuss with her before
labor starts… Right. The next thing not to do is using your cell phone. This is probably the
number one thing that women complain about. We had reports about husbands watching football games,
playing computer games, making phone calls, recording voice messages, making videos of
their wives while they are having contractions etc. Don’t do that! There is only one reason why
you should use a cell phone. And that’s to take a picture of your newborn once that baby is born, right?
Until then, ban that cell phone to some place where you cannot reach it. Yes. The next thing not
to do is complaining. We totally understand that a delivery is exhausting for you too.
However, I think we all agree that your partner is doing the heavy lifting here, right?
And so, there is absolutely no room for any of your complaints. Yes. When Nathalie was in labor,
I quickly went outside to get some water for her, because I really love to be kicked, right? Just kidding.
And there was this other dad who complained that he is really exhausted because his wife had been
in there for like 8 hours or so, right? And I basically just smiled and told him to talk with his mother
about his complaints and that he should go back in to support his wife. He was not happy about it.
I guess so. And then another thing not to do is being visibly nervous. I know that some guys are super
nervous. And I cannot blame them it just means that they care. But the problem is that your partner will
feel your stress which can increase her own stress levels. And that’s nothing she needs when she is
in labor because stress can slow down labor. Yeah. It’s not only that. The calmer you are, the calmer
she will be. And the faster the delivery will go, right? Because stress can lead to pain, pain will lead
to even more stress. And then it quickly becomes a vicious circle. By the way: if you are looking
for ways to help your partner when she is in labor, then watch the video that hopefully pops
up now! In that video, we teach you acupressure and reflexology which are two ways how you can
support your partner when she is in labor. Right. If you have found this video helpful, we would
be super grateful if you could leave us a like below this video! Yes. And for more useful tips
and tools on pregnancy-related topics, make sure to subscribe to our channel and to hit the bell!