- Mm, cookies!
- Biscuits.
- Cookies. - Biscuits.
(air whooshes) (hinge squeaks)
(regal music)
- Today we are here to debate proper English
and find out that Americans speak better English
than British people.
- It's English.
You're speaking English.
- But we just simplified things.
We just made it
easier to digest. - Exactly, you're
simpler people.
(laughs) - Well, may the best
English speaker win.
(lively saxophone-driven music)
- A vest.
- A gilet.
- A gilet? - A delightful
yellow gilet. - (laughs) What?
- I don't understand why people wear them
in the first place. - It's a vest.
- It's a gilet.
- A vest is a white thing you would wear
underneath a shirt for warmth.
- Cookie.
- A cookie is an item within the biscuit range.
- You've got custard cream, you've got bourbon.
- Bourbon is a drink. (other man laughs)
- It's not Ben's biscuits,
it's Ben's cookies. - No, but those are cookies,
those are cookies.
There's two different types
of biscuit and-- - That's stupid!
- Sprinkles!
- Hundreds and thousands.
- (laughs) What?
- What?
- (laughs) That's not real!
- You think there's a hundred thousand
sprinkles on top of this ice cream cone?
That's a lot of sprinkles.
- Are you gonna count them?
- Double parked.
- (laughs) Double parked, what?
- Yeah, he's parked. - I literally
have never heard of that.
- Two pints.
- (laughs) Double fisting.
- What?
- This is double fisting.
- Oh, oh, my-- (other woman laughs)
- Would you say that in front of your parents?
- What, (laughs) don't Google that.
- It's a Saturday night, really.
(both laugh)
- Americans use proper English.
- No, you use American English.
- Our words are way better overall, yeah?
- (giggles) No.
- I think, really, it could just be called
English and American now.
- Oh, that's fair.
- I clearly won.
Yes? - No.
Yes.
(she laughs)
(woman laughs) - Do (laughs) plants lay eggs?
- No, but-- - No, case closed.
(lively big band music)
- Today we are back for round two of Proper English
to find out who speaks proper English, Brits or Americans?
- Brits, obviously.
- Actually, we're here to prove that British English,
or just English, really, is the overall
correct language to use.
- So I moved here two years ago, and I think
every single day, I hear a new word that I'm just like,
"This is the most ridiculous thing
"I've ever heard in my entire life."
Like chuffed.
I think chuffed is a ridiculous word
- You get chuffed to bits.
- Chuffed to bits? (laughs) - That's--
- Higgledy-piggledy.
- Higgledy-piggledy
is a classic. - What is it? (laughs)
- I love it.
- You know, you're feeling a bit higgledy-piggledy,
(Becca laughs) and you're
chuffed to bits, and--
- (laughs) That's ridiculous!
(Owen laughs) That's a ridiculous sentence.
- All right, (bangs on table) enough debating,
it's time for me to prove you wrong.
- We'll see.
(lively, percussive music)
- This is an eggplant.
- It's not an eggplant, is it?
It's an aubergine.
- (laughs) It's an eggplant.
It's an eggy-shaped (laughs) plant.
- So this is an aubergine,
right? - That's French.
- Yeah.
- (laughs) So why are you speaking French
just for this one vegetable?
Get your own word.
- If all of your vegetables were French terms,
but only two or three are, so who got lazy
along the way and decided they just
weren't gonna translate something over?
- Oh, I'm sure it has a deep meaning in French, and that's
why we stuck to it. - Oh, you don't speak French.
- There's only one proper.
You're taking somebody else's word for eggplant.
- We've got a long and grand history
of (laughs) doing that
across the world. (Becca laughs)
- When I'm eating my aubergine,
I don't wanna be thinking about eggs.
Two very different things.
- Well, we all know what this makes us think
of, anyway, so-- (bell dings)
(flicks card)
- That is true. - Yeah.
Thanks, emojis.
(energetic rock music)
- This is a classic debate.
(taps desk with card)
These are?
- Trousers.
- Ah! (Amanda laughs)
- Trousers.
- Pants.
- Nope,
trousers. - Slacks?
Slacks are pants, maybe.
- Just call them trousers.
- They're obviously trousers.
- I think this is the one word, probably more than any
of the others, that we need to sort out between the U.S.
and U.K. - I agree.
It's caused for some very awkward situations--
- Very. - When I moved
to this country. (laughs) - Oh, yeah.
- One time I asked someone if they liked my pants,
and I feel like I might have given them
(laughs) the wrong idea.
(both laugh)
- These, though, are these chinos?
- I mean, they're just horrible.
(laughs) - I would not.
- Wouldn't wear them.
- The arrows are pointing to her bangs.
- They're pointing to her fringe.
- [Jeff] Her fringe?
- Mm-hm.
- I thought fringe was like when you go
to Coachella and you have the dangly--
- [Hani] Like tassels.
- Tassels?
- You use the term fringe as well, though,
don't you? - No, no, we just
call 'em bangs.
- That's ridiculous.
- I-- (laughs)
- So you go to the barber and you're like, "I want fringe"?
- [Hani] No, a fringe. (laughs)
- A fringe, oh, "I want a fringe."
- [Hani] Yeah, you're like, "I'm gonna cut a fringe today."
- Oh, well, that's ridiculous.
- How does the word bangs align with this in any way?
- Like--
- 'Cause it's covering your eyes and you keep
bangin' into things? - Bangin' into stuff.
Maybe that's the (laughs) origins of the word bangs.
- What's the French word?
Let's go with that.
- Yeah, le fringe! (Amanda laughs)
Le fringe! - Le fringe.
(lively music)
- The dummy.
(Becca laughs)
- Are you kidding?
- What, that's the first time you've heard that?
That's a dummy.
- I've been here for two years,
I've (laughs) literally never heard that.
- No!
- Pacifier.
If a baby is shouting and screaming and crying,
you wanna make it peaceful, so you give it a pacifier.
- This is to pacify the baby.
- Yeah, but it's a bit like, okay,
you're thinking of kids, right?
"I'm gonna pacify you."
It just sounds aggressive!
- What does a dummy even have to do,
I mean, where do you get dummy?
- I don't know! - (chuckles) Yeah.
(energetic music)
- Oh!
- An eraser.
- A rubber.
- A rubber? - A rubber.
- No, a rubber is something else.
- A rubber is a condom.
- You rub it out.
(Jeff spit-laughs) (Hani laughs)
- Also could be done with a condom!
- You're rubbing it out!
(laughs) - (laughs) And, so?
- That's it!
That's all you need to know.
- The main use of the product is not
to just rub it around your paper.
That's weird, you know? (Owen laughs)
That's weird if you did that, okay?
What's normal is to use it as an eraser
to erase some mistake that you've made on the test.
- When you have to buy something, go to a store,
and you say, "Hmm, I've made a mistake, what should I use?
"An eraser."
- Okay, but you wouldn't know how to use it.
You'd be like, "I've got this eraser,
"but what do I do?" - (laughs) Oh, yeah.
(laughs) - You gotta rub, you know?
- But also, what's it made out of?
'Cause I'm gonna say rubber.
- I'm gonna say eraser material.
(both laugh)
Just a guess, I don't know.
(energetic music)
I would say that there were two key standouts
where I was right.
- Okay.
- Which was the eraser and the pacifier.
- Pacifier I'll give you.
- Yes.
- Eraser I won't give you.
- I just think that's ridiculous.
- And I think if you're gonna claim
those two and then claim you've won,
you're sort of completely forgetting about eggplant.
(laughs) - (laughs) Eggplant!
- I'm not a big fan of dummy, I think.
- Mm.
- Why have a child say that?
It's rude, awful, not nice.
Don't teach, I mean, you can call it a dummy and then,
you know, next thing, a child plays with a stupid,
and they're just saying
dummy and stupid all the time. - Outrageous!
Can we say that on camera?
(Amanda laughs) I mean, I feel like
we might need to bleep
that out. - But it's a child!
- Can't we just both be correct?
- Yeah, that's why it should be English and American.
You can stick to eggplant and your pants,
and we'll stick to the original words, original and best.
- Fine.
(lively, brassy music)
- Arugula.
- Arugula, say it with me.
- [Both] Arugula.
(Becca laughs) - A-ooga!
Much better. - (laughs) Oh.
(lively music)
- We might be stuck at home in self-isolation,
but that does not mean the debate stops
between who speaks proper English.
- I can still fight for my country from home.
- We're totally not going crazy, it's fine.
(both laugh)
- I get it that it's proper English like you invented it,
but like many things that you guys invented,
we just made it better.
- Oh, okay, I see.
- All right, let's dig in to some more words.
(Owen giggles) - Okay, this is a fanny pack.
- This is a bum bag.
- Okay, it's not on your bum, so why
are you calling it a bum bag?
And I know what the word for fanny is,
I (laughs) also learned that recently.
(Owen laughs) And I realize that is,
it is in front of your fanny, that is true.
It is a fanny pack.
- Either way, I don't really get why it's called that,
because you don't put it on your
butt. - It's your front bum!
(laughs) - You strap it
around your waist--
- Your front bum!
Just flops over.
- If anything, it should be muffin top bag.
- Muffin bag.
- You're trying to use the British fanny--
- Look, I'm just trying to-- - To justify your
American phrasing.
It's wrong. - I'm just trying to find some
synergies, man, that's all.
- This is like the olive branch
to bridge our two great nations,
that nobody realizes-- - (laughs) The fanny pack.
(laughs) - That the bum bag.
(both laugh)
- But we agree that no one should be wearing this.
- I agree that no one should be wearing them.
Although I was at a car
boot sale-- (record scratches)
- You were at a what?
- You know, car boot sale.
- What the hell's a car boot sale?
(Steph giggles)
- A skip.
- Skip?
No, that's a dumpster.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, that's a dumpster.
- You call this a dumpster?
No, we call it a skip.
- Explain that one to me, (Owen laughs)
because there's nothing skippy about that dumpster.
- You know what?
I honestly can't explain this one.
It's a skip.
- Would you like to phone a friend?
(laughs)
- It's just called a skip.
And if you see one on your street,
then everybody dumps their stuff in it,
whether you've hired it or not. (laughs)
- They what their stuff in it?
- You throw away your stuff in it. (laughs)
- No, they dump it, because it's a dumpster.
- You skip it in! (laughs)
- Well, I was gonna say we have dustbin,
but that's not the same as dumping.
- Don't even get me started on dustbin,
(Steph laughs) 'cause you're not putting
dust in this thing.
- Just give it up,
just give it up. - I can't even argue this one.
I can't argue it.
- I think that's a win.
(lively music featuring tuba)
- Do you have a word for it?
- Yeah, it's a crossing guard.
- Ugh, you know what?
So typical, boring.
- What do you (laughs) call it?
- A lollipop lady.
- What the (beep)?
(Becca spit-laughs)
(Owen laughs)
- (laughs) Okay, that is ridiculous.
We're not in Candy Land!
- We call it a lollipop lady.
(both laugh)
(Casey claps)
- What?
- 'Cause they're helping you cross the street,
so they're a crossing guard.
- What are they guarding?
- They're guarding the kids' lives!
- I haven't seen a lollipop lady in a long time,
but is that because overcrossings
have just run them out of business?
(laughs) - (laughs) Run them out
of business?
Was this a thriving part of the economy before,
the lollipop ladies?
(Owen laughs) - In these weird times,
I can err on the side of let's have a little bit
of lightness and fun in our lives.
I will give you lollipop woman or lollipop man.
- Thank you.
It's a weird one to concede on,
because it is utterly ridiculous, but I'll take it.
(energetic, brassy music)
- We'd call this the hood.
- Well, we'd call this the bonnet.
- Bonnet? (laughs)
- What's a bonnet?
- I don't know, actually.
A bonnet, isn't a bonnet a hat, like a little--
- Right, so why are you calling the hood of a car a bonnet?
- Do you know, what I've learnt from these videos
is that I just don't know a lot of words?
(laughs)
- If you say it's a hood, and we say it's a bonnet,
this, again, is the aggressive to the sweet.
We have a nice bonnet, you know,
like a little old lady knitting,
and then you have a hood, gangsta.
(laughs) - (laughs) Nice.
- It's just the (laughs) whimsical flow
of the British language, that's why.
- Okay, and what's the back part called?
- The boot.
- Okay. (laughs) - Bonnet and boot.
(both laugh)
- This is not a person, this is a car.
- There's no joy in your life.
- I don't like either.
I think it should be the front.
- I think everyone's wrong.
We should just come up with a new name for it.
- Well, what's in the front?
The flap. - It could be the fanny flap.
(laughs)
- (laughs) The fanny flap!
Done.
- Arugula!
- What?
(both laugh)
This is rocket!
- I actually think this is where we mixed up.
I think that this sounds like something
you guys would've done.
I think arugula sounds nice, and it sounds like
a French word, that you would've been like,
"Oh, you call it arugula," and Americans
would be like, "Oh, it's rocket!"
- That's actually very true, yeah.
- It sounds too fancy for you guys.
Unless it's Spanish, and you guys have
a lot of Spanish-speaking people.
- Arugula! (laughs) (Ada laughs)
- Do you like it, or do you not like it?
- I do like it, yeah, but I know
a lot of people don't like it.
Or is it coriander a lot of people don't like?
- That's cilantro.
- Let's not get started on that one.
- You still haven't made a good argument
for why rocket is the better choice.
- I'm not even gonna register this as a question.
(Becca laughs) Arugula.
- All right, last one.
What do we call these?
Oh, we call those, these are scallions.
- What?
- Spring onion, we would call this a spring onion.
- Is it a spring vegetable or something?
- I'm not going to say yes.
- Nope. (laughs)
- But do you have fall onions and summer
onions and winter onions?
- That's why it's a spring onion.
You see, that green is just springing out.
Spring! - No.
- Could you give me a little bit of the backstory
of the founder of spring onions, please?
Because it seems so much real information
about the plant. - Yes, yes.
- (chuckles) Okay.
- It was actually first grown by a Dr. Reginald Spring.
(Becca laughs)
(fast-forward chirps)
Significantly smaller than its counterpart,
the onion. (Becca laughs)
(fast-forward chirps)
That is still why we call it this today--
- (laughs) Oh! - In all civilized
parts of the world.
- (laughs) I'm so glad I made you do that.
(upbeat music)
- I love a fanny pack.
Other than that, I think that we win all of the other ones.
- Hmm, yeah.
No! (Steph giggles)
- I don't think anybody won this, to be honest.
(both laugh)
I think we've decided that we're switching some terms.
- As the world comes together now, (laughs) as we all
sit inside and go stir-crazy, I think there needs
to be more collaboration between everyone.
- I totally agree.
Virtual handshake. - Yes, yes.
Virtual handshake.
(Becca laughs)
A little Eminem.
Anyway.
(upbeat music)