- Do you ever get anxious?
- No.
- Me neither.
(both laughing)
- Oh, by the way, congrats on the baby!
- Thank you. - My gosh,
show me pictures of the little guy.
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
I think I got some somewhere.
Um, okay, that's my dog.
Oh, that one's stuck, okay.
Uh, let's see.
Oh, that's a little selfie, that's for me,
I'm gonna put that one back actually.
Oh, let's see.
(grunting)
Oh, oh, oh my gosh! Here he is!
All right, here he is dressed like a little dinosaur,
throwing Cheerios at my dad.
- Oh,
(laughs) that's great.
This is a little soggy.
- Oh, sorry, I think I lactated on it.
- So, you got a date to the party on Friday?
- No, I don't feel like I know any girls
in the radius of my new apartment.
- Ah, bud, that's no excuse.
It's so easy to meet girls.
You got a phone, don't you?
- That's true.
- Well, dial a random number with your area code.
- Okay.
(dial tone) (phone dialing)
(hand slamming) (dialing continues)
(phone ringing)
(phone beeps) - Hello?
- Hi, who is this?
- This is Gary. Who is this?
- My name is Shayne and we have the same area code,
so let me ask you this,
are ya hot?
- Nope.
- That's okay. I'm not too picky.
So what are you doing on Friday?
- Well, this Friday, I'm waking up at 5 AM
to go to the bathroom,
then I'll probably go back to sleep,
and then at 7:30, I'm gonna wake up
and water my basil
and then I'll probably read a little story to my cat.
(Gary laughs)
And then, uh,
at around 8:30 or so,
I think I'll probably walk over to the mirror
and look at my reflection and talk to it a little bit
'cause I'm a little lonely.
(Gary laughs) Uh...
And then at 3 PM, well, I think-
(phone slams)
(phone rattling)
- All right, I'm gonna show you this nude,
but you can only look at it for three seconds
and then it must disappear.
- This is the best day of my life.
(heavy breathing)
1, 2, 3.
(muffled groan)
- Oh...
Oof, God, I regret this.
- Oh.
- I feel icky. (groans)
Gross. (gags)
- Hey, can you do one simple task
without getting distracted 30 times?
- Yes, actually.
(dial tone) - And then at 3 PM,
I'm going to eat a spoonful of peanut butter
and then I'm gonna take my thyroid medication.
Then I'll read a childhood story to my cat.
And then after that point,
I think I'll call it a night
and go to sleep on my floor at 5 PM.
That's about it. That's my Friday.
Thank you so much for asking.
Nobody really does that anymore, it feels very nice.
You have a good day, young man.
(phone beeps)
Okay, Mr. Onions.
(cat meows) Where was I?
(cat meows) Right. Korea.
I was on the 39th parallel.
Surrounded.
(car door slams)
- How do I get to the mall again?
I guess I could ask Jenny.
Hey, Jenny.
- The destination is the mall. Let's go!
- Jesus, Jenny, stop yelling in my ear.
- Then you'll turn left at the intersection, I think.
- You think?
- You could go back.
- To where? The parking lot?
- Stop, I'm under a lot of pressure right now.
- Just use one of your maps, you're using it now.
Just read it.
- I can't read!
- God, just get out of my car.
- No!
- Get out of my car, Jenny! - You always do this!
I just want to help!
- For God's sake! Figure your (beeps) out
or get out of my car! - I'll figure it out!
Get out! - No, stop! Get off of me!
Get off of me! (Jenny rambling)
- I swear, when I tell you that Europe was life-changing,
you haven't lived until you've been to Spain.
Barcelona.
- That's really cool. - Yeah,
and after four days in Italy,
I truly felt like an honorary Italian.
Mama Mia!
Oh, are we taking a break from the conversation?
I love that!
Reminds me of my American roots.
- I saw a tomato at the store today
that looked like DJ Khaled.
- Did you take a photograph to prove it?
- No, I don't have a camera.
- Then I have no choice but to believe you.
(food smashes) (Shayne groans)
(Shayne laughing)
- Oh, my tummy is hungry.
What do I want to eat?
- You should go to Subway!
- Damn it, Jenny!
Warn me when you enter my vehicle, please!
- I can help you get there!
Turn right into that tree!
- Jenny, that is simple not how you get there.
- Turn right into the tree!
- Into the tree- - I said turn right
into the tree!
- I will not end both of our lives.
- You're gonna die anyway!
- You know what, Jenny? You're right.
- I am. (Damien laughing)
(car engine revving) (Jenny groaning)
(car crashing)
- Cute, right?
Do you want to see the other pictures?
- Oh, this, oh- - I really lactated
on that one. - This one's sopping wet.
- Oh, the titty juice. - I could ring it
into my coffee. - You could, you should.
- Oh... - You should make use of that.
That's good (beeps).
- Honestly? How'd you know that?
- How'd I know?
- If your own titty milk is good?
- You never tried your own titty milk?
- I have never produced.
- Do you want some?
- [Director] Cut! (both laughing)