You know from crazy Ex
and trolls world tour where she plays Barp,
please welcome the very funny my friend, Rachel Bloom.
Hi Rachel.
You're my friend too, hi Moses.
What a fun intro I did.
It was really good,
and I love how much you love
being a host of a show like this.
I love it. And why you clearly take in
talking to comedians and celebrities
during a pandemic where there are so many
more important things happening.
Absolutely, I love to pull focus
to bomb in my living room.
Yeah. There's so many voices
we should be elevating right now
and I like to cut through all that noise,
use the TBS algorithm to get my voice
projected up there and just bomb
in the place that I just lay down
for 23-hour time of the day
and then do this.
Your living room is classier than I pictured it.
Yeah I tried.
Nice.
I tried a little bit.
I'd want like a job I wanna perform so
I was like please let's make this
as good as possible.
Very nice.
That means getting great guests.
Wow, smooth transition.
I wanted to talk to you specifically
because I feel like you've had a crazier
quarantine than most people.
Yeah.
I mean not only have you been
personally affected by this
and losing a good friend,
but you've also in a very unique situation
when you had a baby in quarantine,
which is already insane to have your first kid.
Right, this is the first kid
Yeah. that you're talking about?
That I know of.
Yeah.
Ow! Actually I wanna breastfeed
during this entire conversation.
Yeah yeah you can come in.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Is that Dan?
Uh no it is our nanny
because I'm in a position
where I can have a nanny
and that is why anyone who's on television
explaining how they're quarantining right now,
what they're not talking about
is their men's privilege.
Absolutely. So it's very easy
for these celebrities to sing four lines
of imagine and say that
everyone should stay inside and do their part
because they don't have to.
I'm not, I am one of the least
famous famous people I think in the world
and I'm also not really that rich.
I have a pool.
I say that about you all the time.
Yeah, I'm least famous famous person truly.
And you have a pool so it's so much nice
you can... Yeah, I really can't like
I mean I can't really like
I can comment about certain things
but like I'm not gonna pretend,
let's not pretend that I am in a position
of not being fortunate during this quarantine.
Despite the fact I lost someone,
despite the fact I had a baby,
despite the fact
it was the most emotionally intense
and traumatic thing I've ever been through,
I'm still doing well, hello.
Look at this, this is fine.
This is uh yeah.
I can't believe more people don't do this.
I'm always so embarrassed that where we are
in the culture when I'm in an airport
when airports were still a thing,
and there's a whole insane booth
for moms to breastfeed in.
Did you have to go into like it's this
Sorry, I'm sorry. Harbor thing inside.
Well yeah it's like it's not my fault
that you can't like sexually control yourself
around a woman doing
serving the function of a breast.
Feeding a human being, yeah.
Like I'm sorry it's once again
it's the whole biblical thing,
it's against God for a man
to spill his seed unnecessarily, right?
Yeah.
That's like you'll go to hell
if you spill your seed unnecessarily
and so what that is is women shouldn't be indecent
because it will cause the man
to spill his seed unnecessarily
so I have to like put on a whole cover
while feeding my child so you don't like
jeez on the ground. Spill my seed.
Yeah, control your seed.
Control your seed.
Slipping all over it,
that's what I imagine
will happen in the airport if this is allowed.
Eeew!
Abomination is allowed.
Yeah I really have,
I mean look I've never been
like a blushing flower with this.
So I can't claim like,
" Oh my God I used to be so shy,"
no I'm an exhibitionist.
But that having been said,
my entire neighborhood has seen my breast
because I've been breastfeeding on my patio
because it's the most comfortable place to breastfeed
and I... Get out there.
Yeah, well the thing that you can't take it
to the next is you have a projector
and you have a large screen and a blimp
that is floating around the neighborhood.
I want people to see it, I want people to know
and you know my vagina is a mess.
Yeah you sent me photos.
Yeah, well it was making a cute face
in one of them.
It would be in say also if it wasn't a mess,
if it was like, "Yeah everything is fine."
Yeah no and I don't think that's a mystery,
no one says your vagina is great
after giving birth.
But it is this whole thing
where you have to literally,
the only way I was able to cope
is you wear these cold packs that you stick,
they're like super-sized menstrual pads
but they're cold and you basically
wear it against yourself and it numbs you.
It's so easy to be a woman,
I thought about that constantly.
Yeah. What a great experience.
It's a great experience.
But I mean it's absolutely... Adam spilled his seed once
and then he was done.
Oh yeah, listen.
I definitely had the shit end of the stick
as far as giving birth
but he doesn't like gross medical stuff.
Me neither. My girlfriend watches
like pimple popping videos and surgery pictures
and I'm like ugh! No.
But I think the miracle of life I'd watch that.
I was prepared for him to faint and he didn't.
It's gory, I mean it's a gory thing
and you know you get stitches,
but I had, I got off topic
but just anyone watching... You know I'm a Lisa,
I think you should do that on your patio next kid.
What. It's not like that.
Giving birth? Child birth, yeah.
Oh yeah on my patio, hmm!
Yeah.
I mean the great thing is I had an epidural and
Oh that's great.
and I just can't recommend it.
I just. Enough.
I can't recommend it enough
because the idea that you,
look it's very personal,
everyone makes their own decision,
I have friends who opted for a pain relief
during labor and that was a very personal choice,
for me I definitely felt a little pressure
of oh well unless you are like feeling
the full pain of labor, are you really doing it?
And that is such I think,
it's not patriarchal but it's some sort of,
my husband said it's the equivalent
of guys being like how much can you lift?
Right, right you're really doing it.
What I'm I doing?
I'm not having a kid to have labor pain,
I'm having a kid to have a kid.
My mom had all home births,
no drugs in a kitty pool
because you know they were in a cult
and I could not say enough things against it,
"Don't do it, go to a hospital,
you're breastfeeding, Dan's working on his garden,
his very sad garden."
Very sad. Okay this is funny.
So Dan have you been gardening?
Hey Gregor?
Hey Dan, why haven't you returned my texts?
Moses wants to ask you
about about your quarantine garden
on Team Coco live.
Writer on crazy Ex multiple deadline articles.
(Rachel laughs)
It's Dan Gregor.
Dan, how are you.
Why haven't you answered my text
and Velma request for money.
I don't think you deserve it.
Aah! C'mon.
Just used to having so much money,
this has taken a real hit.
So is this garden real?
You posted a photo of this very small carrot.
Aah! Its so sad.
I did make a real garden,
I put it by the sprinkler head
coz I don't think that I'm responsible enough
to water plants everyday, I'm not
and then I'd say within the first 24 hours
animals had eaten 50% of the garden
and then I think it's been four months now
even in quarantine, right.
I was like four months seems...
Time to squash or something.
Something, I want something
and so I finally dug up a couple of them.
I saw a little nerve of carrot sticking out
and I was like Oh! alright time for a salad baby
and uh...
(Moses giggling)
The whole carrot salad.
The whole carrot salad
and it was just a little nag of a thing
and it's really sad and pathetic
and I don't think I know what I'm doing.
I failed at making bread,
I failed at making salad, its bad.
I think it's our hunting.
It's gotta get a lot of comments in the chat
but I think these animals
are clearly drawn to it.
I think this is how
you're gonna grow some opossum.
Wait one second, Brooklyn.
She's gonna have the baby.
Wanna take the baby out? There you go.
I know someone that didn't have a cute kid
and I'm just being like,
"You know, that's a good kid.
That kid is gonna be an influencer,
I'm sorry to tell you."
Oh no! I saw that is our biggest fear is
she's already like an L.A kid
growing up with like parents in the industry
and I just can't,
I can't, I can't, can't.
With the make up to the... I wouldn't wish this life
on anyone to constantly run,
I mean dance and perform as well as a writer.
It's like the idea of that
you're always tryna seek attention
and you're risking humiliation and rejection
to get a hit.
If there's any like songs you sing to the baby?
I do a lot of chubby chucka, part of a ho ho hoo
yeah out of that.
So for anyone that's not 49, chubby chucka...
(Dan and Rachel giggling)
I mean chubby chucka is for the 100-year olds.
Must feel pretty young on twitch.
All right this is on twitch.
It is on twitch.
What a great place to start careers on in,
we're on twitch.
If you don't know chubby chucka,
you obviously know fat stamina Oh! Yeah, absolutely.
You know blueberry hill being like
a pretty big hit from that rap.
Did you have a fun exercise
where you used to do
'cause apparently chubby chucka named himself
chubby chucka just because
fat stamina was successful
so he was like," Okay, I'm gonna take
a synonym for fat and then another game."
Synonym for a game and then...
So fat stamina, chubby chucka and so...
So my favorite is Tabby clue,
but there's like corpulent shoots and ladders.
What a a career path.
Just go on and name alone.
Obese monopoly. Yes.
Obese monopoly, these are all great.
Yeah.
It's a fun roster on my record.
So for my name, if someone is gonna rip off me
which you know if you wanted a career on twitch...
Abraham Tornado.
Oh that's good.
Oh God! That's better than Moses Storm.
That's actually a lot better.
If it were possible as a name, Abraham Tornado.
It's pretty good.
Oh, yeah, wow, I mean...
What's your name.
Solomon Twister.
(Rachel laughs)
David, David...
A lot more Jewish than my name.
King David Typhoon? Ouuu.
King David Typhoon,
that comes with a free birthright trip.
That's the use of famous wrestler, I loved him .