If you get this one wrong, things are going to
escalate. And not only are you going to be dealing
with a toxic coworker, you are going to be dealing
with a toxic AF work environment.
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Your coworker is toxic AF. And if you're really
unlucky, you have a whole group of toxic
coworkers. While I have a ton of videos on my
channel to deal with all types of difficult
coworkers, like the jealous coworke,r and the nosy
coworker, I've gotten a few requests to just talk
about toxic coworker in general. Where it's not
necessarily that they're one of those things, but
your toxiccoworker is a mix, if not all of those
things. So in this video, I'm going to share with
you six strategies to deal with a toxic coworker.
And if you stay all the way to the end, I actually
have a little bonus for you. But let's not spend
any more time talking about what we're going to
talk about. Let's just tap that like button, and
jump right into it. The first thing you need to do
in order to deal with a toxic coworker is to stop
taking their bait. Your coworker who just so
happens to be toxic AF is probably trying to get a
rise out of you. And maybe it's been working. The
thing about toxic coworkers is that they like to
drag people down to their unfortunate level where
they're residing down there, and they are going to
make you feel bad, they're going to try to trigger
you in order to help them accomplish their mission
of making everyone's lives as miserable as their
own. But just because they're putting that bait
out there, doesn't mean that you need to snack on
it. I don't know about you, but I prefer
Hagen-Dazs to toxicity myself. I know this is
easier said than done. But when you do recognize
the pattern, and what they're actually intending
to do, and that quite frankly, your toxic
coworkers do have malintent when they're doing
this, it becomes easier to recognize the pattern
when it actually happens. And for you to adjust
how you actually react, does it mean that you need
to not have any emotions and be totally neutral
about it? No. But having an emotion about
something doesn't mean that you have to react to
the thing, especially when that reaction would be
falling directly into the trap that they are
setting for you. And one of the things that's
really going to help you do this is actually my
next tip to deal with a toxic coworker. And that
is to set boundaries. Now I don't know if you've
notice, but I've started talking a lot about
boundaries around these parts. Boundaries are
really important for most people to have healthy
and productive relationships. And in the case of
your toxic coworker, the purpose of that boundary
is to mitigate the damage that they could
potentially do to you, and your psyche. And the
best boundaries that you can lay are the ones that
I described as falling into the category of not
feeding the trolls boundaries, like refusing to
gossip about coworkers, which is going to decrease
your likelihood of being ensnared in the gossip
yourself is a really good place to start. I've
also spoken before on my channel about making sure
that you're not oversharing and that you're not
giving a lot of personal information that you
don't want to be company fodder away especially
when your toxic co worker is involved no matter
how nosy they are. Another boundary that is
especially important to set with a toxic coworker
is making sure that you are competent and
assertive, especially when it comes to saying no.
Now of course on these boundary topics, I have a
bunch of videos which I will drop the links and
down below for you to check out the one that makes
most sense for you after you're done watching this
one. And drawing from this one, I think is the
most important strategy when you are dealing with
a toxic coworker. Because if you get this one
wrong, things are going to escalate. And not only
are you going to be dealing with a toxic coworker,
you are going to be dealing with a toxic AF work
environment. When you're working with a toxic
coworker you need to know when to push back, and
when to ignore them. Let me explain. Sometimes
your toxic coworker is going to intentionally push
boundaries. So we're going to like let's just
quite frankly, say it, they're going to try to
piss you off, as we've already talked about,
they're trying to get a reaction from you. They're
trying to make you basically hurt yourself at work
in a way that's going to make them look all
innocent. Of course, one of the most important
things that you can do when you are working with a
toxic co worker is recognize where you should let
those things go where you shouldn't react where
you shouldn't put up a fight because quite
frankly, it's going to end up making you look bad
and hurting your career. And when you absolutely
should be pushing back and enforcing those
boundaries. For example, your toxic coworker may
have a habit of undermining you in meetings and
being overly critical of any idea that you put
out. And most of the time in a case like this,
they're doing it publicly in front of other
people. And really in most cases, they are going
to be creating a negative impression for
themselves instead of creating a negative
impression about you. But in some cases, they
might be throwing up unnecessary obstacles. And
that might actually be having a direct a negative
impact to your team and to your company. In cases
like that. This might actually be a scenario where
you actually choose to push back, as you can tell
from this example, this is actually a little bit
hard for me to give clear and concrete rules and
examples in a video, because this does become
really personal. So ultimately, this does come up
to you and using your discretion and when you need
it, do seek the advice of mentors, or even if you
have a trusting relationship, and the toxic person
isn't your manager, talk to them and get input on
how to actually best proceed. And if you do want
to drop details into the comments, I will do my
best to help you out Oh, in those instances where
you are deciding that you're just going to let it
go, you're going to do your best to ignore it.
That actually brings me into my next tip to deal
with toxic co workers. And that is to be
blissfully unaware of it, or at least seem like
you are when your toxic coworker is acting like an
a-hole, you don't acknowledge it at all. And even
when you know their intent is bad react as though
they have the best most positive intent. One thing
that I love about doing this is when you are
assuming positive intent and reacting or acting as
such, it does give your toxic coworker the
opportunity to be a better person. And I sincerely
believe that people will live up to the
expectations that you set for them or down to
them. So when you have a good expectation, they're
going to rise to the occasion. But I do need to
caution you that sometimes this can be very
triggering to your toxic coworker. Because, well,
they're a toxic person. And sometimes this can
actually cause them to escalate. So do again,
knowing what you know about your toxic coworker.
Do choose this one accordingly. The next thing
that you can do to cope with the toxic coworker is
do your best to minimize your interactions with
them. I know when your toxic coworker is on your
team, or let's just face it. When you have a team
of toxic coworkers. This isn't always possible.
But when it is an option, find ways that you can
minimize your personal interaction with them. And
even though I do think that the medium is ripe for
miscommunications, which can actually escalate
sometimes when you're working with toxic
coworkers, keeping your communications to digital
channels like email, slack or instant messenger
can actually be beneficial. This is going to give
a paper trail which is something that you can
actually go back in case your toxic coworker
really decides to up the ante in most cases, this
is not going to be necessary. And in fact, in
person interactions are going to be something that
helps keep you guys aligned, even when they are
difficult to work with. Another thing that you can
do is to map your way around them. And this is
something that you can do by actually mapping the
impact that you want to achieve in order to
advance in your career and making sure that you
develop the right network and the right contacts.
To do that, this is something that I actually get
into in my free workshop that I'm going to link
down below in case you want to check it out. One
of the most common things that toxic coworkers do
is actually obstruct your progress and really get
in the way of what you're trying to do at work. If
they have an opportunity to keep you from hitting
your KPIs or your MBOs, your toxic coworker is
going to spring into action on that opportunity.
And one of the main ways that they like to do this
is by withholding information. And that brings me
into the next tip to deal with their toxic
coworker. And that is when you do have to work
with your toxic coworker and you do have to
communicate with them. Do your best to ask closed
questions. This means that when you need a piece
of information from your toxic coworker, it needs
to originate minimum with a yes or no question.
For example, instead of saying, hey, let me know
when the customer gets back to us and then
trusting your toxic coworker to actually keep you
in the loop. What you can do is you can actually
follow up, have you heard from the customer yet,
because this is going to be yes or no. And they
most likely do not want to sabotage their own
career by lying to you. They're going to see us
when they actually have and this is going to give
you the information that you need to work forward
with. And as much as possible when it comes to
dealing with toxic coworkers. I do encourage you
to use these more simple, more binary questions
with them in order to optimize your communication
and minimize the opportunity for misunderstanding
or misconstruing what is being said. And that
brings me into my bonus tip to deal with a toxic
coworker and that is to be positive. I know that
you guys are probably sick of me saying this again
and again and again. But it is really important.
Your toxic coworker is a negative force in your
life and you are forced to work with them and they
are going to be in your sphere. And I don't mean
to get all hippie dippie on you but let's just
face it that is going to enter your energy field
and it is something that you can absorb as much as
possible. I want you to make sure that you are
cultivating positivity both in your interactions
and for yourself especially after you've had an
interaction with your toxic coworker. If you don't
really know how to do this, I want you to go and
check out this video right now because it's
actually going to break it down for you.
If this video gave you some tips that you know are
going to help you deal with your toxic coworker,
make sure to give it a thumbs up consider
subscribing if you haven't already. As always,
thank you so much for watching. Bye for now.