in the world of music lady gaga
announced she is changing her name to
lady gaga
she gave no explanation for her decision
according to a poll americans are
concerned about a new axis of evil that
threatens our country's democracy north
korea isis and senate majority leader
mitch mcconnell
uh
moving on no no no no no is anyone
bothered by this but me
do you hear that it's wrong it's your
emphasis you're an emphasis
[Laughter]
what the hell is he doing everything you
say is off it's not wi-fi it's wi-fi
it's not polar ice caps is polar ice
caps you are a comedy kamikaze oh wait a
kamikaze what the hell
anybody with the correct amount of
chromosomes
would know that it's mitch mcconnell not
mitch mcconnell
you make it sound like there are a lot
of mcdonald's there's only one there's
no stewie mcconnell is there a stewie
mcconnell in the house
no
what the hell is going on should we cut
to commercials
no no no no this is live this is
live christ no i'm sorry jesus christ
who of course was born in bethlehem
look i even put it on the cue card
because i had a feeling you know what
this is i have no idea no
thank you al look at this i had it
written the exact same size so you would
know mitch mcconnell not mitch mcconnell
you see that al camera one spin around
get me al's reaction yeah tell everybody
did i tell you that this would happen he
told me this would happen everybody
exhibit a ow
thank you well you sweet son of a where
is he going steady there follow me
you
look little ma'am what does that say
mitch mcconnell thank you very much you
you stand up tell me what does this say
mitch mcconnell again mitch mcconnell
can't hear you it's mcconnell we got a
winner
take anything off the top shelf god damn
it everybody tell me what does this say
can't hear you
one more time
thank you roger you're a very talented
young guy but i have to tell you
something i am sick and tired of writing
jokes for you and having you abuse them
you dumb turd oh boy
everybody dumb turd dumb turn dumb turn
stand up thumbs hurt
[Laughter]
mom dad come here bubba charlie's on
television
[Applause]
thank you
would you get those damn birds out of
your hair
larry
take one thank you charlie burns no no
charlie burns
sorry sir i'll work on it that's the
news of the night of the night the news
of the
i guess i'm a dumb turd
thank you
good night
very clear
what was that what the hell was that
[Laughter]
[Music]
you