The man stands in the same place he's been for the past 13 years
writing out his life story for everyone to witness.
And yet...
when they realize what it actually is...
they'll see me.
Hello everybody, my name is Markplier and welcome
to Markiplier makes fan fiction
I am your 'host' of sorts. Although I may be donning this outfit, I will not be hosting you today.
No, we
will be writing for you.
Introducing-
Introducing Tyler.
He's a man who stands alone writing in a lofty lighthouse on the side of the sea.
Also introducing Ethan, who's been writing in his basement alone for years. His grandchildren never call.
But when he makes this book, what's it called?
Ethan: Horses...
...Presidents?
Mark: Keep working on that.
*Laughing*
When he finishes this book, it'll take the world by storm.
Twilight? *psh* Whatever.
Killing games? *chh*
No.
Not at all.
But we're not just here to write fan fiction for you. We're here to write fan fiction for us.
So what we need from you is a suggestion for an idea.
Wait, what was your grandma character?
Ethan: Mrs. Thompson.
Mark: Mrs. Thompson!
(Ethan: Hell yeah) Mark: Thank you so much for joining us, Mrs. Thompson.
Do you know how to use that technology device?
Ethan: *Old lady voice* Oh, I don't think I know how to use a cellular device. 'Ere.
Mark: No, you figure it out. *Mark and Tyler Laugh*
While we're waiting for your responses, let me give you a little taste of the history of writing.
Back in the year 1922
the typewriter was invented by a man named Yorkshireman von Der Beek
And he looked at his piece of paper and pen and was like, "This is just ridiculous. Who could? Who would?
Who should?" And he cried out to the heavens and the devils and he said, "Please?"
"Lord, give me a sign! How do I lead us into the age of enlightenment?"
And BOOM!
The typewriter fell from the sky.
*bang bang*
Ethan: *Old Lady voice* Oh...
*laughter*
Mark and Ethan: Get eaten by a giant fucking hamster
Mark: Like a giant 'fucking hamster'.
Ethan: "What happens on the tour bus stays in the tour bus. Elaborate?"
I think that we should do the tour bus.
Mark: all in favor of the tour bus say 'aye'.
Ethan: Hey.
Tyler: Aye...
Amy: Aye.
Kathryn: Aye.
Mark: Alright, it's decided then.
Tyler: So we should explain how we're going to -
Mark: I'M GETTING TO IT!
*inner demon trying to escape*
Mark: What's wrong with you? Tyler: I had caffeine!
Mark: Just - everybody has caffeine, they don't do that!
Ethan: You seem cold, here. Tyler: I don't have caffeine, like, ever!
Mark: Thanks Grandma. Ethan: Stay warm.
Mark: Who wants to write first?
That's not an answer.
Ethan: Help.
Mark and Ethan: *laughter* Tyler: Rochambeau
Mark: "Help".
Rock-paper-scissors-shoot.
Ethan: Hapah!
Tyler: Ethan starts.
For second!
Or should we just get down the line?
Mark: Yes!
Tyler: Down the line.
*Laughter*
Mark: Alright then, there was no point in any of that.
Tyl - uh,
Ethan...
Wha-ha
Mrs. Thompson
will have the honor of going first.
So here's how it works.
Ethan is gonna start out by writing for three minutes straight- as much as he can
and then when he's done he will read me the last sentence that he wrote
and then I will write for three minutes, and then Tyler will write for three minutes
using the last sentence that I wrote. We won't know what each other writes
until the play... begins.
Are you ready Mrs. Nesbit?
*Snickering*
Thompson?
Ethan: Oh...
You're talking to me!
I'm ready!
*tappy tap*
Mark: *Whispering* He's flying...
Ethan: Ah!
I can't delete! If I make a mistake, I have to keep going!
Mark: Yup.
Tyler: Yup.
Mark: That's the point.
Ethan: Writer's block, writer's block, writer's block!
*Mark and Tyler Laughing*
*More tappy typing*
*DING*
Mark/Tyler: *chuckling*
I'm...
*types loudly*
...in such concentration...
*pause*
*Typing continues*
DING!
Ethan: That is -
Mark: Ah ah ah... Tyler: That's it.
Mark: Typewriter down. Ethan: Okay.
Mark: Alright, alright. Well, that was inspiring to look at.
Ethan: So, here's a question:
Do I have to read you what it says?
Exactly? The last sentence?
Mark: The last sentence, yeah.
Ethan: EXACTLY?
Mark: Exactly.
Ethan, reading: "Wat? There's non way I could be in dang tiddy."
Mark: Read that one more time.
Ethan: Once- Once more.
"...dang tiddy."
Mark: Okay...
*manly grunt*
*sharp exhale*
Ethan: How's it going?
Great.
Ethan: Is it hard to concentrate?
Yeah, shut up!
Oh shit. Oh no. Oh no.
Ethan: Make a mistake?
Oh, I made so many mistakes.
*vigorous tapping*
Ah - You know, I'm gonna let it end on that one because it's a complete sentence
and if I wrote any more it wouldn't be good.
See, my issue
when I was doing it was I wanted to write fast
but then I wasn't pressing the keys hard enough
so then it just wouldn't go and I was like, "Oh!"
And then it would miss letters so it looked like it was a different word
so I would complete that word and try and play off of that.
*Laughter*
That was my issue.
Alright, this is your sentence - are you ready?
"Mar took this opportuity"
"toe meant I the sea ber otside."
What?!
All right, good luck.
*clunk*
Mark: *surprised gasp*
*tappy tap*
Did something break?
Ethan: No.
Oh, I thought that I sa- I thought I saw a piece of metal just *BCHSSH*!
What did I see?
*Laughing*
The typos are killing us.
Killing... you maybe, I'm thriving off of typos.
Tyler: Oh my god. Mark: I live for the typos.
Tyler: Alright
"Etan smirked in" er -
"- smirked i respownse..."
"...to his betaful words."
I'm a little bit afraid because I had this premonition that
whenever we speak these out loud those things written on paper are gonna come to life.
And it's going to be truth.
Well, I didn't write anything sexual.
N- Neither did I.
Tyler: I thought it was fan fic!
Mark: How sexual did you get? Ethan: It doesn't have - that's -
Ethan: That's smut! It doesn't neccessari - Tyler: Not sexual at all, yet.
Ethan: Fanfiction doesn't always have to be about bonin'. Mark: Fanfiction -
Mark: What do you think - Tyler: That's all I've ever seen on the internet!
What?!
I don't read it that often, but that's all I've seen.
Mark: Excuuuuse you!
Alrighty - reeeady.
Mhm.
Kathryn: Alright
Kathryn: Write!
O-
OH! Mark: Writ-
*laughing*
*dramatic grunting*
What the fu-
*laughs*
God damn writer's block!
Tyler: Go!
*tiny scream*
You can spiel for like hours at a time, but you can't just put that stream of consciousness on paper?
Listen, no, it just flows out of my body, and I can't translate it to my fingerrrrs.
*tiny scream*
*tap tap*
*fwump*
Tyler: *wheeze-laugh thingy*
Tyler: Geeze.
Kathryn: That's time!
Mark: There you go Ethan: Okay....
Okay, ready?
Ye- no.
But go anyway.
"Let's nom let this get oot of han."
"Remid our"
"slillilulthis"
"why we're still herr."
"Lasagna!"
Subtile Editor: (We're not making this up, sub users. I'm sorry.)
Mark: Say that again? Tyler: What?!
Okay.
Mark: I'm ready! Ethan: Go ahead.
Amy: Isn't "lasagna" a sentence by itself though?
SHIT!
Just lasagna.
*laughing and wheezing*
Kathryn: Go!
Ethan: Tyler, you ever written a novel?
Tyler: I have actually, I've written plenty of short stories.
Mark: That is not a novel. Ethan: Have you written a novel?
Tyler: Who's written a novel in this room?
Mark: Wha- He- That's the question he asked!
*Laughing*
That's literally the question he asked!
*tippy tap*
*DING*
Euh!
Ding!
I would like to surrender the rest of my time
so I don't get a stupid sentence like "lasagna".
Ethan: Bold.
Mark: At the end there.
Ethan: A bold move.
"There was nom time."
"The had to beat this fool with tehe power of love."
*Chuckling*
What?
"There was nom time...."
Tyler: Nom time...
"The had to beat this fool with tehe power of love."
Tyler: Alright. Mark: I can't make it clearer!
Kathryn: Go!
Ethan: Put the pieces where they're supposed to go. Kathryn: Thirty seconds.
So you're saying like, anyone cou-
a child, could pu-
whoever made this is a fucking idiot.
Oh, no, whoever made this...
...is deeaad.
*Laughs*
Ethan: I'm going to start writing out letters to people instead of texting. Kathryn: Five…
Ethan: I'm going to get a pigeon. Kathryn: Four… three…
Carrier pigeons are extinct.
What?
Yeah, you didn't know that?
I thought any pigeon could be a carrier pigeon if you train it!
Tyler: Nope.
Carrier pigeons were a specific breed. *Editor's Note: They're thinking of Passenger Pigeons*
What?
Anyway, so how'd it go? How was your writing?
I think pretty good.
"This beast was of another time period in Earth from which it noonowow returned."
*Tippy tap dancing*
Done.
Okay.
"And they did."
*Whale breathing out*
We don't really have any context.
Okay. It's fine. Don't worry about it.
Smash or pass?
*Chuckling*
Fuckin...
Believe in yourself! Believe in yourself, and you can make a story come to life!!
Got it!
Hmm, see? You believed.
"Tha was their lethal mistae"
Alright.
Kathryn: Type!
*Tip tap through the tulips*
Mark: Machine!
This is the ending.
Ethan: Oh. Mark: Genius is happening.
Kathryn: And...
What's the title of the book? I was trying to remember that to type that at the end.
That's the end, okay. That is the end.
No - The ending is the title!
No, that's the end.
Well y- No, no, NO! You can't type anything!
Yeah, that is the end.
*zipper*
Ethan: Mhm.
Mark: It's done. Tyler: Alright.
Our manuscripts!
We're going to be doing a dramatic reading of this and you will see just how
dramatic it gets when we start the story of 'What Happens on the Tour Bus Stays on the Tour Bus'.
Ethan Narrating: "Th bus."
*Sniggering*
"Hat horrible bus."
"They thought they woud nev escape it."
"The boys had been in"
"on the bus 'Freedom'."
"What freedom?"
"There was no freedom."
"Mark's sister had no right to be on that bus..." *chuckle*
*chuckle* "...anyway."
"Mak had a dream that Ethan was going to die."
"Mark: Ethan! I think you're in grave danger of death today."
"Please be areful f the bus."
"Ethan: What?"
"There's non way I could be in dang tiddy!"
Mark Narrating: ""Like I said, there is non way because it is too big.""
""You fool!" cried Ethan."
"But then Tyler realized the grievious error that he had commitwed."
"He had no pats."
"Mark looks longingly into Etan and Tyler's soul as he drank their essence wit fervor."
"Mark said "I am feeling randy and blood is fliig.""
"Ethan stahted the rocess of changing."
"T-" *wheezy laugh*
"Tyler flexed his nmighty girth un til all that remained
was canage."
"Mar took this opportuity to meant I the sea ber otside."
Tyler Narrating: "The see burr was looing in the tor bus whilst sitting on a passing car."
"Mar was fascinated by the seeburr and thus entranced his associate to whom he was speaking."
"But in descrigb the see burd to the bus Mar lost tforak of what was truly his purpose."
"The love for which he has for his friends which he would now like to express, physically."
*laughing*
Ethan: You said that it wasn't smut! Tyler: I wasn't sexual!
"Mark aressed Etnan's race and wisped in his ea seductively."
That sounds pretty sexual!
"Etan smirk i response to his betiful words."
Ethan Narrating: "The smirk was best milk that ever had given."
"His smile was grat. His teh shone through his lips."
"Mark: You put those theeth away young man, I won't allow you to take the spot lit away from me agai."
"Ethan: Don't make this about you. My smie ha always been and always will be better than ours."
"My father will be herig aboot this!"
"Tyler: Guys guys guys, let's nolit this get oot of han."
"Remid our slillilulthis why we're still herr."
"LASAGNA!"
Mark Narrating: "Five hayhy boys rmember that nthere was Stouffer's lasagna in the freezer."
"The boys jumped for joy and waved their respective peni."
"They danced and waitd with jubilant patience."
"DING!"
"There pop the weasel and they feasted on the flesh of their fallend food."
"But then they remembered the sea bear."
""Oh no!" said Ethan."
""Yikieu" said Tyler."
""Mumbly cumblit" said Mark."
*laughter*
"There was nom time. The had to beat this fool with tehe power of love."
Tyler Narrating: "With the tehe power Mar and friends hugged and chanted wealth i a circle"
"which ause was the monster to seize and stat slurring his speech."
"Shaking and chanting and dancing shook the bus to the point that the driver lost control."
Lsnagia went everywhere as the bus crashed down a slope, landing somehow on tis wheels."
"Boob an Mar walked out to see the monster head escaped from the tehe power"
"or of friendship."
This beast was of another time period in Earth from which it noonowow returned."
Ethan Narrating: "The beast looked un ths tit n fashion and he poke one il breathy breath breath."
*laughing*
"'Mooonster Maaash! If you are ruly in the teet of type, then show me a sign.""
""Kill me"'"
"And they did."
*laughing*
Mark Narrating: *stifling laughter*"Three days later the police officers found them lying in a puddle of blood."
*laughing*
"They forgot about the sea bae."
"That was their lethal mistae."
Tyler Narrating: "Fro the the had now passed so that now person could tell the story of the tour bus"
"and the attack and occurrences that occurred, so from that point it was unmistakeably declared."
And then that's the end.
*Clapping*
There you have it.
It's been an honor to write for you. It's been an honor to be here among such
esteemed writers such as thee and ye.
Thank you Amy, thank you Kathryn.
And thank you.
And, as always, we will see you in the next video.
Buh-bye!
(There were many typos in the making of this video :P)