Right, you're all very welcome
along now to the How to Speak
Dublin language school alright?
Now don't worry if you're not
from Dublin alright
We're gonna take things nice and easy
and you'll all be speaking Dublish
in no time at all
Now you might remember last week,
we were lookin at some of the
irregular verbs yeah?
Well we might tip back in now,
with the irregular verb
To Be
Alright so here we go
In Dublish, the irregular verb
'To Be'
I do be
*audience repeats
You do be
*audience repeats
He does be doin
*audience repeats
We do be doin
*audience repeats
and finally: They done it
*audience repeats
That was very good lads
Yiz nailed that didn't yiz
Alright why don't we make it a
little bit trickier for ye?
So, does be do be movin on...
To the irregular verb...
To Seen
Yeah?
As in: I seen something
Okay so this is a little trickier
So, I'll decline this one meself
Okay, so here we go okay
I seen,
you seen,
He seen
Nothin!
And then it's we seen?
*audience: Nothin!
FUCK ALL!
Ye see now lads,
It changes when it goes plural
That's how you know it's an irregular
Teacher, teacher, excuse me
I have question
Alright, very good
Vladimir isn't it?
What's your question buddy?
Please may I be using
bathroom facilities
Say it proper yeah?
Okay....
Teacher, teacher,
I'm bursting for slash
and I need to go pronto
before I scutter me cacs
VERY GOOD YES!
Very good Vladimir
Alright now lads,
when you make friends with
somebody in Dublin
this is what I want to look at next,
there's a very simple trick to their name
you drop a syllable
and you add an 'O'
onto the end
So, I'll give yiz an example
with somebody maybe who has
a bit of a tricky name
let me see, who have we got in today
Ramesh yes?
Yes teacher, I am here and willing to learn
Okay very good
Stand up for us there Ramesh
So we'll drop 'Ra'
and we'll add an 'O'
onto the end, so Ramesh
in Dublin,
would become
Mesho
Very good yes
Mesho!
Very nice, very nice
altogether now!
*Audience: Mesho!
Lovely, beautiful
let's see who else we got in today
let's see...
Eh you miss, down the front
what's your name?
*Audience: Orla
Orla...
Oro
That's a nice one there
Eh, mister with the crutch?
*Audience member: Sean
Sean...
You'd just be called 'Crutchy'
Okay?
Very good..
That's an irregular
don't worry about that
This man here
*Audience member: Fiachra
Fiachra? ...
Fuck ye
hold on...
We'll go with 'Fio' on that one
Okay?
So Mesho,
Who are you sitting beside here?
This is Darren
Darren, alright, and what would
Darren become in Dublish?
Daro
Daro, very good
As in 'Poison Daro'
Poison Daro, I see
what you did there
very nice
Poison Daro through my heart
Your making friends are ye?
Me and Daro are having the banter
We covered banter last week
If yiz missed it
We are smoking the craic
Eh no! No!
No, you're having the craic
having the craic
We are having the craic Darren
and then we are going to smoke it later
EH NO!!
That's not how the craic works Mesho!
Yes, I am here and willing to learn
I wanna give yiz a phrase
you can take from the class and use
out and about on
the streets of Dublin
I will in me bleedin hole
Okay?
Now if you're not familiar
with the phrase
roughly translated
it means:
I'm probably not
going to do the thing,
that your asking me to do
Okay?
So for example, if I said to you lot
something like eh...
Would yiz empty the dishwasher yeah?
Youse, ye might reply?
*Audience: I will in me bleedin hole
Mesho: Hoooooole
Okay, now that's, that's not bad
there you've nearly got that
Just at the end of the sentence there
You've lost the run of your hole
and that's okay
happens to a lot of us
But you've got quite a long wide hole
on that one yeah?
What we're looking for here
is a nice tight tiny hole
I will in my nice tight tiny hooooole
No! What are you doin!
What are you doin
Mesho, no
No, it's a bleedin hole
I have bleeding hoooole
NO!!!
No you dont have-
Why is hole bleeding???
There's nothing-
What is wrong with hole Darren?
There's nothing wrong with your hole?
We need to stop smoking that craic
Excuse me, Knock Knock
Oh hai
I think I might be in the wrong
room here now
Wha?
This isn't my class at all now
Who are all these hoores?
Here horse! What's going on horse!?
This is remedial Dublish
in here yeah?
Oh hai, no I'm lookin for
Advanced Monaghan
Ah fer..
I tell ye now!
Right now lads
Unfortunately, we're almost out of
time on this one lads
But have you all seen the homework,
that I put up on the board?
NO!
We seen....
FUCK ALL!
Very good! Very good.
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