No, really, the video title isn't a lie! Jennifer Lopez has a nude scene in one of tonight's movies. See if you can guess which one! This is "Movie Night"!
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Hello, and welcome to "Movie Night", YouTube's only interactive movie review show. I'm your host, Jonathan Paula.
Our first film tonight is "A Perfect Getaway", a suspense thriller released last August to minimal success.
Jon: The plot of this thriller is simple: A couple is honeymooning in Hawaii, where a pair of serial killers were reportedly on the loose.
During their vacation, the couple meets a few suspicious couples, and they become overly cautious and wary of their new friends they met on their beachside hike.
This movie isn't a masterpiece by any means, but it does do a few things right. The first two acts are engaging, suspenseful, and littered with some sharp, if self-referential, writing and scare moments.
Playing the lead couple, Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich don't do much to impress, but they submit a believable enough performance of the two main characters, the worried couple in love.
As the suspicious fellow hiker they meet along the way, Timothy Olyphant stands out in this movie as a very mysterious, yet likeable, character.
Although a passable thriller and entertaining on the surface, I did find many problems with "A Perfect Getaway."
For starters, the movie takes a very long time to get rolling, with nearly 20 of the 97-minute runtime wasted before the first plot point is even really introduced.
The other massive issue with this film is the entire focus of the movie relies heavily on a large plot-twist at the end of the second act, a twist that is followed by a 10-minute flashback, which tries to explain it.
And even still, it fails to make sense of what came before. The final act of the movie is a plain-and-simple cheat on the audience, entirely disregarding most of the first half of the movie and reducing itself to a really poorly paced action movie.
Although I felt the writing and some of the acting was above-average here, the final act is a major disappointment, especially following a twist so unorthodox that you either saw it coming or you were totally confused by it.
Now, let's go ahead and read some YouTube comments and see where you guys stand on "A Perfect Getaway."
Jon: NerdHelpDesk wrote... (reads NerdHelpDesk's comment)
Jon: HotRod918 wrote... (reads HotRod918's comment)
Okay, let's fire up the Rate-o-Matic, to see how this mediocre murder thriller fared...
An "alright" and a "cool", a 5-7 split. Now, while this movie wasn't original or really effective enough as a thriller to warrant me giving it a higher score, it wasn't that bad of a movie, either.
You guys agreed, you like the action and the plot-twists. You scored it a 7/10.
Moving forward, let's take a look at the film we watched to celebrate New Year's Eve last week, the Wesley Snipes-Woody Harrelson buddy-action caper, "Money Train."
Released in November of 1995, "Money Train" only earned back half of its nearly $70 million budget, making it one of the biggest bombs and worst-received movies of that year.
But the film does feature a passionate interracial love scene between Wesley Snipes and Jennifer Lopez, so maybe not all is lost!
Seriously, though, no one really goes into this movie expecting very much, and with that in mind, I was actually pleasantly surprised with "Money Train."
Reprising their on-screen chemistry from 1992's "White Men Can't Jump", Snipes and Harrelson are John and Charlie, two foster brothers working as NYC transit cops for the city's subway system.
Both actors are excellent, bouncing off one another, and they really serve as the glue that holds this otherwise unoriginal action thriller together.
The plot is a simple one: Charlie's life has been on the skids, and he owes many people money. Being the apparently immoral and dirty cop that he is, he is forced to rob the Money Train, an armored subway car that carries the MTA's weekly revenue.
Seasoned actor and homicide committer Robert Blake portrays the film's villain, Donald Patterson, who is obsessively committed to making sure the Money Train arrives on time every week.
Although the film does a fine job convincing you that Patterson is the evil boss of the train system, really, he isn't the one who is trying to rob millions of dollars from the city of New York because he couldn't afford a gambling debt.
The action in this film was nothing special, but it does just enough to keep you from shutting off the TV. Meanwhile, the dialogue and performances, especially those from Robert Blake, are absurdly ridiculous.
It easily qualifies as one of my favorite "so-bad-it's-good" characters in film history. Sadly, though, "so-bad-it's-good" does not make a film ACTUALLY good. Maybe watchable, but this is a loud and obnoxious film that's below average.
But let's see what you guys had to say about this classic box-office bomb.
Jon: KrankKiller wrote... (reads KrankKiller's comment)
Jon: EPM011 wrote... (reads EPM011's comment)
Some strongly opposing opinions on this one, so let's fire up the Rate-o-Matic to see where "Money Train" ended up.
Alright, a fair, if forgiving, score from both of us. While this film does very little correctly, it is campy, it's enjoyable, it has some good action in it, and for me, that manages to give it a "meh" score.
You guys scored it a little bit higher with an "alright", a "5". Moving forward, let's take a look at Hollywood's latest releases, with some Tweet Critiques.
Jon: Goobian Tweeted... (reads Goobian's Tweet)
Jon: Briguy17 Tweeted... (reads Briguy17's Tweet)
Jon: Ladakn99 Tweeted... (reads Ladakn99's Tweet)
Well, that does it for tonight's installment of "Movie Night." Here's what we'll be reviewing for next week's episode.
The fourth and reportedly final chapter in the "Final Destination" series was released on Blu-ray and DVD just yesterday, and "Honky Tonk Freeway" is a bizarre comedy that bombed in the box office back in 1981.
I hope you get a chance to check both of them out before next week's episode. I'm looking forward to what you guys have to say about them. Until then, once again, my name is Jonathan Paula. Thank you so much for joining me. Have a good night.
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