﻿How To Deal With A COVID Breakup [0:00:00]
All right, gentlemen. So, here is the email I received. “Antonio,
my fiancée of five years left me for a once closed male friend I’ve known
longer than even her. I was deeply in love and now, I feel demoralized. He’s unable to
meet anyone new or even feel that there’s hope for romance again. And, worse of all,
he feels unable to get her and the hurt and betrayal that she caused off of his mind.”
First up, thank you, Mike, for sharing with me your story and asking me to make this
video because you’re right, there’s tons of guys out there that have gone through
a breakup this year and are finding it very difficult to overcome the breakup because it’s
difficult to go out there and meet new people. So, in today’s video, I’m going to talk about
how to overcome a COVID breakup. [Music]
So, right off the top of my head, the first thing I’m thinking is that you should be trying to share
the grief. Here’s the thing is your friends want to hear from you. You’ve probably got buddies
you haven’t talked to for ten years, twenty years. Reach out to them, catch up on life,
let them know what’s going on. Here’s the thing, they are there
for you. I’ve got friends I haven’t, you know, from the military friends from college, I haven’t
talked to for ten years, fifteen years, but I can call them up and they will take my call.
When you’re going through this tough time, when you’re going through this pain, when you hand it
off to others, it actually makes them feel good that they can be of service, they can be of use
to you. And it’s amazing what sharing with other people, how this can just make you feel better.
Another key about this is you don’t even have to share this people, you could write this
down. Maybe just start writing in a journal, start writing out and putting your pain on paper. And,
again, you’re spreading this out, you’re distributing the load and this is going to
make it a lot easier for you to bear immediately. Now, building off that first point, let’s now have
a funeral for the relationship. You want to mourn the relationship for what it was and move on.
And I know whenever I would break up with somebody or I had lots of friends
that would break up with people, it would be something we take the guy out and he wouldn’t
buy a drink and we would just get him drunk. And you want to talk about, yes, relationship went
off for two years, had some highs had some lows. You, guys, remember when we did this and this
marks the end of the relationship. And I think having that ritual, going through that process
of marking the end is going to help you move on. That being said, alcohol is a depressant,
don’t depend on this. Don’t drink too much. Drink responsibly.
Now, this next one really important especially if you were living together, you’re now moving out.
Set out your new place to feel like a home. And if you got a small apartment, get some art work
up on the wall. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just some nice pictures, things you enjoy.
So many times, we ignore this, we just find a place, a place that we can crash. We don’t
do anything on the walls and it feels like a dungeon. It feels like a prison.
And we don’t think about the power of our environment and how it has an effect on us.
A better thing, maybe move in with a family member, move in with a friend. Even if you’re
staying on their couch, they probably have done a decent job of furnishing their place. And you’re
going to at least feel like you’re in a home. You want to feel like you got to a safe place
to go, a place where you can think, where you can unplug. Yeah, get your life back together
and not feel like you’re in a prison. Now, this next tip may sound a little
bit extravagant, a little bit out there, but hear me out. I want you to set up a weekly appointment
with a chiropractor and a massage therapist. First up, you’re going to take care of your body.
It’s going to feel good. Why does it feel good? Because you’ve got somebody putting their hands on
your body. Yes, this is a non-sexual professional relationship here, but we take it for granted.
When we’re in a relationship, we had somebody putting their hands on us and it felt
good. You need this. We’re human beings. And this is a professional setting, this is something that
they’re helping take care of your body, you’re going to feel great, you’re going to get that
human interaction. It’s just a great thing to do. Next up, let’s talk diet. This could be a huge one
because if you are working a lot, but you’d come home and there was food on the table and if it
was healthy food, you had something great there. And for you to lose that and all of a sudden just
start eating out, you could end up gaining a lot of weight and you’re going to end up putting a lot
of junk processed foods into your body. The food, the fuel you put in your body is going to have a
huge effect on the way your brain functions. And, now, let’s talk about exercise. Perhaps
it was something important to you before the breakup. Perhaps it’s something you didn’t
do it all before the breakup. Here’s the thing about exercise especially when it’s
in a sport that requires your mind for you to be thinking. Maybe it’s basketball, you know soccer,
or even running outside on a trail. Here’s the thing. Your mind is going
to be focused in on what you’re doing. You’re going to be improving your body.
This is one of the best things you can do for yourself. When you are in depression,
when you’re feeling upset about a breakup, if you’re not exercising first thing in the morning,
you’re making a mistake because what this does is it sets the tone for the entire day.
You’re going to feel great all morning going into the afternoon. Don’t save it for the end of the
day and starting your day with motion is one of the best ways to get off on a positive note.
So, we talked about diet, we talked about exercise, let’s now talk about sleep. It’s so
important that you’re getting rest especially when your mind is restless. And, I get it,
you can’t get her off your mind. This is something you’re used to actually having somebody in the
bed with you. [0:05:04]
You’re going to have to work to calm yourself down. You’re going to have to work to relax and
you want to turn off that social media especially maybe after 7:00 PM. Give yourself two hours,
three hours to actually just kind of relax and get into a relax state
that you’re going to be able to sleep well. I advise you to turn down the temperature in
your room to 62 degrees, 63 degrees. Find what works for you, but understand getting great
sleep is going to be key to your recovery. Now, I know for me, I love to read and I find
that, you know, turning off social media and just reading some great fiction story is just fun.
Or, hey, not for you, then why not actually go read The Stoics.
These are guys that thousands of years ago wrote about the problems that you’re going through.
Now, this next one is where it’s starting to get really fun. And that is where you just go
do things that you’ve always wanted to do and you don’t need to apologize to anybody.
Here’s the thing. When we’re in relationships, oftentimes we compromise. And then, we start to
realize, well, what am I doing that for, why am I not doing what I want to do? So, take the time to
think back what are things I put on the shelf five years ago, ten years ago, and start doing them.
I’ll be honest. I put shooting weapons shooting guns on the shelf years ago because my wife is
European, she’s anti firearm. But, you know what? I made a decision, I’m going to start shooting
again. And I got into competitive shooting, I’m having a lot of fun. Probably going to get into
three-gun here soon. Point being is find what you want to do and then start actually doing it.
Now, unfortunately, one of the bad things that can happen after a relationship is
you can start to regress. You can blame others. You can develop a lot of poison, a lot of hate
inside of you. You could start hating women. You could start just hating other people. You can just
really build this up. So make sure that you know what your values are and that you continue to live
up to them, what do you want to become. So, guys, you’ve seen me put out these coins,
and I want to show you something, honor, courage, and commitment. Character cannot be developed in
ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared, and vision inspired and success achieved.
Gents, I created this coin because I wanted men to be able to have something they could carry with
them when they’re going through tough times. So, if you’re going through some tough times, I want
to hear from you down below in the comments. Write out kind of if you just went through a
breakup, if you’ve had some really bad stuff happened to you this year, I want to hear
from you. I’m going to go down there and choose about ten guys and send these coins out to you.
I created these coins. I’m not charging anything for them, but I’m giving them to deserving men
because I want you guys to know that, hey, there are people out there that may not even know you
that care about you becoming the man you know yourself to be.
I appreciate you. I appreciate the community we build here at Real Men Real Style. And, gentlemen,
I will see you in the next video. [0:07:48] End of audio