Professional wrestling is a physically brutal sport, and athletes have been hiding their
real pain in favor of the spectacle since the 19th century.
Sooner or later, every wrestler gets hurt, and their injuries force them out of the ring.
"Last resort!"
Here are the real reasons your favorite childhood wrestlers retired.
Hulk Hogan
As the sport's biggest star of all time, Hulk Hogan was not only a force on the mat, but
also a genius self-marketer.
He was one of wrestling's first athletes to really control the whole show, from storyline
to action figures.
"Hulk Hogan!"
Unlike most wrestlers, Hogan's fall from greatness wasn't due to some in-ring accident, but rather
his mouth.
Hogan had flirted with the idea of retiring from wrestling dozens of times over his career,
but it was his leaked sex tape, in which Hogan is heard using racial slurs, that truly ended
his career.
WWE fired him in 2015, kicked him out of their Hall of Fame, and pretended like one of the
biggest stars in their history never existed.
It's possible that, once the dust settles, Hogan could return to the ring, but for now
he's enjoying the fruits of his multi-million dollar lawsuit victory against the website
Gawker for leaking the sex tape.
And whatever's left of his Pastamania money.
Daniel Bryan
At only 35 years old, Daniel Bryan was among the most decorated active wrestlers in the
WWE.
During WWE's Monday Night Raw on February 8, 2016, Bryan announced that his health was
forcing him to leave the ring.
“Within the first five months of my wrestling career, I'd already had three concussions.”
In an interview with ESPN, Bryan discussed the damage his brain has incurred over his
career, saying that at least ten concussions have been documented, which is far too many
for any brain to handle.
Bryan's wife, wrestler Brie Bella, discussed her husband's struggles on her reality television
show, Total Bellas.
"What a lot of people don't know about my husband is he's been battling depression since
he was 25.
And really our whole relationship, I've been used to his depression, but definitely in
the last two years I know, OK it comes, it hits hard, but it only lasts for two days."
Bryan is leaving the ring at just the right time, especially considering that many wrestlers
simply retire too late.
Bam Bam Bigelow
Weighing in at 390 pounds, Bam Bam Bigelow was one of the biggest acts to ever wrestle,
both literally and figuratively.
His enduring legend is peppered with extreme highs and lows, including drug abuse, which
eventually led to his death.
But Bigelow wasn't just a wrestling hero.
In July of 2000, he'd saved three children from a burning building.
"You see kids, and you see a fire, you’re not gonna stand there and watch them get burned,
you know?
I wound up burning 33 percent of my body and I spent a couple days in the hospital, about
10 days in the hospital."
In 2005, Bigelow crashed his motorcycle, which nearly killed his girlfriend who was sitting
on the back.
His retirement in 2006 was not tied to one incident, but was brought on by the accumulation
of troubles that plagued his final years.
Sadly, retirement didn't make anything easier, and he was found dead in 2007, due to a drug
overdose.
Jesse Ventura
Before he became Governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura enjoyed a decade of adulation in professional
wrestling.
After a notable ten years in the ring, The Body called it quits in 1984, after doctors
discovered blood clots in his lungs — but the damage wasn't from wrestling.
Ventura had worked as a member of the Underwater Demolition Team in the United States Navy
during the Vietnam War.
He believes the blood clots in his lungs were because of his exposure to Agent Orange.
Whether or not that's true, the damage to his lungs closed a historic chapter in Ventura's
life, though he's clearly enjoyed one of the most high-profile and varied post-wrestling
careers in the sport's history.
Edge
During his WWE career, Edge…
...no, not that one...this Edge earned a staggering 31 championships.
Even if they were all scripted, that still an impressive number.
But it was Jeff Hardy's attack during Wrestlemania 23 that aggravated Edge's spinal stenosis
to the point of no return.
“Watch this impact!”
“Oh god, oh my god!”
“The height!”
Playing through the pain is standard in professional wrestling, but the WWE wouldn't let him kill
himself in the ring.
After a few more years, an MRI revealed that Edge was no longer in fighting shape, which
he revealed on wrestler Chris Jericho's podcast, saying,
"It felt like my nervous system was off.
It was just an MRI that showed it.
Finally WWE said 'that's it, dude.'"
This spear on Brodus Clay a day after his final match where he's clearly favoring his
injured neck didn't help matters one bit.
Magnum T.A.
Terry Allen referred to himself as an "American Heartthrob," and stood out from the pack as
a burly-yet-handsome grappler, ready to punish all takers with a belly-to-belly suplex.
In 1986, at the peak of his career, 27-year-old Magnum T.A. lost control of his Porsche on
a rain-soaked road in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the accident left half of his body paralyzed
for months.
The crash ended Allen's in-ring career, and apart from a few brief, almost symbolic, appearances
in the 2000s, the "American Heartthrob" was committed to the sidelines, but lucky to be
alive.
Kamala
Billed as the "Ugandan Giant," James Harris, also known as Kamala, wrestled for 30 years.
He rose to fame during the '80s and '90s, an era when cartoonish depictions of far-flung
cultures struck fear into audiences.
Kamala was actually born in Mississippi, so he was hardly the savage cannibal he portrayed
on TV.
Kamala formally retired in 2011 after he was rushed to the hospital.
A longtime sufferer of diabetes and high blood pressure, Kamala was in a bad state.
He refused dialysis treatment, which resulted in the amputation of his left leg below the
knee.
A year later, his right leg was also amputated below the knee.
Because it's especially difficult to wrestle with no legs, today, he sells paintings and
recently published his autobiography, Kamala Speaks.
Fortunately, he's no longer perplexed by bowling balls.
*confused grumbling* "Come on, don't be afraid!"
Stone Cold Steve Austin
The clock began ticking for Steve Austin's career on August 3, 1997, when he faced Owen
Hart for the Intercontinental Championship.
Austin had readied himself for a tombstone piledriver, but Hart switched to a "Hart Driver"
at the last second, which sent Austin's skull crashing into the mat.
The blown move left Austin with a bruised spinal column and temporary paralysis.
For Austin, the realization was immediate.
"And I just knew instantly I was paralyzed and I could not move, but I stayed razor-sharp,
I was awake, I never got knocked out."
And even though Austin returned to the ring after the incident, Summerslam '97 marked
the beginning of the end.
He would re-injure his neck and endure several concussions.
In 2003, at the age of 38, Austin decided to hang it up before it was too late.
His leaving the WWE was written into the storyline, but very accurately blamed his injuries for
his departure.
"So make no mistake about it!
You’re fired!"
*Arrested Development sad walk music*
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